I just write the stuff, don’t expect me to watch it

Ever wondered why Telemundo telenovelas have such a hard time beating those of Univision? For starters, Univision’s fare is mostly comprised by novelas imported directly from the mero-mero del drama, the so-called dream factory, her highness Grupo Televisa. But there’s also Telemundo’s insistence on producing its own shows, or as the network’s president likes to say (quite often) to control its own destiny.It was with this in mind that the NBC-owned network launched Taller Telemundo, a six-month program in partnership with Loyola Marymount University to “inspire, discover, recruit and train the next generation of fiction writers.”

Well, this week the workshop graduated its Class of 2007, a group of eight lucky hopeful writers. Among them, according to a story in Los Angeles Times, is Liliana Hung (right), a 35-year old Colombia-born mortgage banker who was selected from 1,500 applicants from around the world to write a 10-page telenovela script. Graduation doesn’t guarantee Liliana a writing gig at Telemundo, but her chances are obviously greater than the rest of us. Funnily enough, and as my friend from Clemenseando smartly pointed out, Hung admits to not watching a lot of Spanish-language television.

In fact, she says her favorite TV shows are Law and Order and Nip/Tuck. She grew up reading Mark Twain and watching M*A*S*H and The Streets of San Francisco.

Ay dios! I cannot wait to see what a Hung-authored telenovela will be all about.

At last! market research that makes sense

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I never thought I would ever be thankful to a market research firm, but this time I am … truly. So, thank you, E-Poll Market Research for giving curvy Latinas in our late (very late) 30s something to live for.

According to research released this week by the Encino, Calif.-based polling firm, Hollywood’s 15 sexiest celebrities are all curvy (very curvy) and over 36.

And, perhaps not surprisingly, topping the list is 40-year-old pregnant Mexican beauty Salma Hayek. (Truth be told, the average age was severely loaded given the fact that Raquel Welch was also among the top 15).

The polling company provides so-called “appeal rankings” for more than 3,000 celebrities (both men and women), and the results showed 65% of the U.S. population would use the term “sexy” to describe Salma, beating out Beyonce, Pamela Anderson, Hally Berry and other not-so-young beauties.

See? Maybe we’ll never be able to beat Brazil or Argentina in a soccer competition, but when it comes to beating anorexic white celebrities, Mexicans are a class of their own. And don’t get me started on the multimillionaires (Slim vs. Gates).

¡Sí se puede! ¡Sí se puede!