We Will Support Obama ‘Cause His Sister Looks Latina

Forget about political views or the so-called growing clout of the Hispanic electorate. The main reason we (Latinos) will support Barack Obama in the upcoming presidential election is… well, simply because his sister, Maya Soetoro-Ng, looks like a Latina. (Never mind the fact that we will never be able to pronounce her name.)

Speaking to The New York Times, Cuauhtémoc Figueroa, the director of Obama’s Latino vote effort, said he thinks Ms. Soetoro-Ng will be sort of a trumpcard in the Senator’s Latino outreach efforts:

“She speaks fluent Spanish, with a Dominican accent, and looks Latina,” Mr. Figueroa said.

Really? He doesn’t tell us, though, if she is fond of mondongo and bachata or if she likes to wear provocative tight jeans and very low cleavages.

Ay, ay, ay!

Marc Anthony is Very Scared to Go to Mexico

So that is why the boricua singer will be escorted by a crew of “at least” 600 security guards when he performs at the Port of Veracruz this Saturday.

Come on. I’ve been to Veracruz several times and, other than having a shark come dangerously close to the shopping stalls at the malecón, I never felt I was in any danger. (Well maybe once, after devouring an irresistibly-spicy huachinango a la veracruzana.)

But then again, I am not ultra rich, nor do I look as if I had an eating disorder and therefore couldn’t defend myself. Let’s just hope Mr. J-Lo comes back in one piece.