Dobbs Promises Ramos the Exclusive About His Political Future [Well, After Telling Wife]

This past weekend, I was invited as a guest to Univision’s political weekly show Al Punto, hosted by veteran anchor Jorge Ramos. Little did I know I would end up sharing the hour-long program with one of Hispanics’ Bête noir, the one and only Lou Dobbs, who took the opportunity to promise the popular anchor the exclusive story about his political future [should there be any.]

Click here or on the photo [above] to watch the video:

Don Francisco Wants You to Eat “Italian” Food

Ah…. marketing minds never stop working!

In the latest effort to tap into Hispanics’ fat wallets -and even fatter selves– restaurant chain Olive Garden is sending Univision’s Don Francisco to Tuscany, because it’s there -and not on the Food Network- where the company trains its chefs. According to Advertising Age:

The legendary TV host will visit Olive Garden’s Culinary Institute in Tuscany in a segment airing this Saturday night on Sábado Gigante. He accompanies Margarita Ibarra, the young chef who won Olive Garden’s “Cocinando un Sueño” (“Cooking a Dream”) contest.

But wait! Olive Garden’s Hispanic effort doesn’t stop there. The company is proud to tell us that all its 600 restaurants have menus in Spanish, which is, like, great, because Hispanics might not know Lasagna is Lasaña and Pasta Primavera is, well, Pasta Primavera.

That’s it. I’m getting hungry, so I’m off to my nearest Olive Garden to get a taste of Don Francisco-endorsed food and pretend I never heard about Dr. Manny.

Texas School Urges Children to Study and Be ‘Seasoned’ Like a Beef Fajita

When it comes to our children education, no efforts should be spared… even if you live in Texas, whose Board of Education this month decided to re-write History.

That is why Crockett Elementary School in Dallas last week hosted a school assembly and invited motivational speaker Fabian Ramirez to encourage students to do their best on the upcoming Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills (TAKS) test. Speaking to 200 kids that are scheduled to take the test in April, Ramírez went straight to the point:

“You have to be seasoned before you get grilled,” he said while holding 2 pounds of seasoned beef fajitas in the air before laying a portion over an electric grill. “Seasoned students are well done after they have been grilled.”

While this blogger greatly appreciates the metaphor, I think Mr. Ramírez should have added that failing the TAKS would turn these children into a bunch of burritos.

Puerto Rican Man in New York, Pissed Because ‘Hispanic’ Is Not a Race

I thought I had heard everything about the 2010 Census, including NALEO’s efforts to get us off our tía’s couch and the Jesus-Caesar Augustus connection. But this one takes the cake: Turns out a Puerto Rican security guard in Bronx, New York, this week refused to fill out his Census form, because “Hispanic” was not an option under the Race box.

“For me to see this I feel kind of offended,” Richard Robles told WPIX.

And, why wouldn’t he? After all, for reasons I yet have to understand, the U.S. Census considers “Vietnamese,” “Korean” and “Japanese” a race. So, continuing that logic: If Korean people are of the “Korean race”, and “Vietnamese” people are from the “Vietnamese race,” I urge Mr. Robles’ to check himself as a proud member of the Puerto Rican race.

As for myself, I was truly offended “Human” was not an option; so I had to use the “Some other race –print race” space to spell out N.P.I. (Ni Pinche Idea)

Salma Hayek Wants to Clean Your Guts… and Apparently Also Your Wallet

Not content with being married to, like, one of the richest men on the planet, Mexican bombshell Salma Hayek is launching Cooler Cleanse, a line of “hydraulically pressed cleansing juices” aimed at making us all look fabulous… just like her.

According to serious journalistic sources, Cooler Cleanse comes in 5 gut-busting flavors: green juice, grapefruit mint, beets and apples, young coconut water, and nut milk sweetened with dates.

Salma’s “hydraulic diet” is said to cost about $58 a day, which is kind of OK if you’re married to a millionaire and all.

Personally, my finances are “hydraulically squeezed” right now, so I will stick to Dr. Manny’s advice and run to my nearest bodega for my $2-a-pound bag of tomatillos.

U.S. ‘Taqueros’ Join Immigration Cause

I always knew there was nothing like a good taco to get people moving. That is why I was happy to learn about Tacos for Justice, an initiative launched by a group of food vendors to raise money towards the fight for immigration reform.

According to California’s Valley Star, taco vendors are giving discounts to customers and at the same time contributing to the national Immigrant Justice Campaign by accepting coupons at their taco trucks and restaurants throughout the country.

As of March 18, three days before Sunday’s march for Immigration Reform in Washington, D.C., more than one million discount coupons to participating restaurants and lunch trucks had been distributed.

This blogger will gladly participate, but can I get a torta ahogada, instead?

Tostitos Ad Makes Me Want to Move to Seville and Eat Lots of Fake Mexican Food

I’m sure you’ve read all the complaints about the Tostitos ad that premiered this year during the Super Bowl. Some bloggers have rightly stated that it only perpetuates the stereotypical image of Latin women, while others simply fail to see the connection between gringo-made salsa and flamenco dancing.

As for this blogger, there is only one thing I’d really like to know: Where is this lady’s nose?!! Anyone?