Month: November 2016

Why Fix your School’s Failing Infrastructure when you Can Have Children Wear Helmets, Instead?

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helmet

From the series “Mexicans Are a Resourceful and Surreal Bunch” comes Primary School Elvira Vega Delgado in Sinaloa, where children are being encouraged to wear hard hats (motorcycle helmets are OK; construction ones even better) during class.

The reason? The classroom’s walls, ceiling and overall construction is pretty screwed up, so you never know when the whole thing will come crashing down on your child’s head.

Aren’t my people (i.e. The Mexicans) the most resourceful, awesome bunch?

Via: El Debate

NBC Preps ‘The Wall,’ a Show Featuring a Yuuuuuge Wall

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wallnbc

NBC, the network that brought us The Apprentice and other similar calamities, is set to premiere The Wall, a new game show produced by NBA superstar LeBron James and hosted by Chris Hardwick.

Per NBC itself, The Wall is “the fastest and simplest game,” and it consists of — yes, you guessed it! — a yuuuuge wall built for one purpose: “To change people’s lives.”

Call me crazy but I don’t think this is exactly a good time to launch anything that looks and/or sounds as “a wall that will change people’s lives.”

I mean, HELLO!

Via: Deadline.com

 

Fidel Castro Is Dead, Because 2016

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On November 25, 2016, at around 10:00 PM local time, Raúl Castro confirmed the dead of Fidel Castro, the Cuban revolutionary who was the nemesis of 11 U.S. presidents. He was 90.

This blogger has yet to process this information, and it won’t be easy, mostly because 2016 has been hitting us with one calamity after another. PLUS… I’m still trying to recover from a week-long tacos/tamales smörgåsbord in Mexico City.

My whole family is in mourning mood right now, though I had to remind them the worst is yet to come… Hello, Jan. 20, 2017!

Can 2016 please take us all and get this thing over with?

RIP FIDEL

NFL Players Warned as they Head to Mexico: Don’t Leave Hotel; Don’t Eat the Food; Don’t Move…

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Poor NFL players. I’m sure for many of them this will be their first — and only — chance to visit Mexico before the wall goes up and all, but they’re already being warned about some scary shit they will likely encounter as they head “over there,” South of the Rio Grande, you know?

A memo obtained by the Associated Press was distributed to the Houston Texans Wednesday and included a page of information concerning their upcoming Mexico trip. Among the warnings was:

“Eat all meals in the meal room. DO NOT order room service” and “DO NOT eat outside of the team meal room.”

It was followed by a line advising players to leave all “expensive jewelry at home,” not to bring large sums of money and not to use ATMs.

Houston Texans will face the Oakland’s Raiders in Mexico City on Monday, Nov. 21, 2016 — If they manage to leave their room, that is.

Via: USA Today

 

Alicia Machado Moves On: Launches Male Fragrance, Develops Extra Limbs, Writes Book

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What's with the extra arm? Anybody?
What’s with the extra arm? Anybody?

Former Miss Universe Alicia Machado, who this year jumped to non-Hispanic fame after confessing to having being called horrible things like Miss Piggy and Miss Housekeeping by Horrible-Person Donald Trump (HPDT), is apparently moving on.

The Venezuela native this week took to Twitter to promote her new fragrance, aptly named “Malicia” (get it?) and to inform the world that she’ll be writing a book about … yes, you guessed it! HPDT.

Anyhow, I’m all up for people moving on and get past this sombre, horrible, sad period, but can somebody please explain the third arm?

This blogger is still VERY depressed, so please, go on, amuse me….

Burger King Russia Commemorates Trump’s Victory with Special Burger Featuring No Mexican Ingredients

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And just when you thought things couldn’t get any more sad / pathetic / weird / stupid, etc… Burger King Russia decided to “celebrate” Trump’s victory with a new sandwich called — what else? — The Trump Burger.

And what the hell goes in the Trump Burger?

Well, I’m glad you asked. It is made of whatever stuff usually goes on these things; the only difference is that you cannot order any hot sauces or food of any kind that would remotely remind you of Mexico.

I’m genuinely confused about this, though, since the promo (above) shows a couple of spicy chiles, which one would think are kind of Mexican-origin thingys. But just like it is with the whole Trump presidency nightmare, I have given up trying to understand what the hell is going on anyhow.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go throw up…

Via: Sputnik News

‘El Risitas’ is Back to Explain Apple’s Obsession with Dongles

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Spain’s treasure Juan Joya Borjas (aka El Risitas) jumped to geek fame a year ago when he “helped explain” the truth behind the design of the 2015 MacBook.

One year later… El Risitas is back, this time with a beautifully crafted explanation of how dongles came to be and how we’ll all be miserable as we step into Apple’s dongle hell.

WARNING: Chances are you will die of laughter.

Trump’s Sexist Remarks are not Even Suitable for ‘Reggaeton’

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trumppromoreggaeton

And just because it’s only a few hours (YES, HOURS!) before this circus election is finally over… I give you el reggaetrump, a 30-second explainer on how the Republican candidate’s remarks about women are waaaay worse than those of your regular reggaetonero.

This blogger loathes both, the candidate *and* reggaeton, but el reggaetrump makes a great point… Besides, it was crafted by two very creative Mexicans: my buddies Paco Olavarrieta (Dieste) and Carlos Maya (Mixto Music) who have earned a permanent spot in this blog’s “Mexicans: How Can Anyone Not Like Us” archives.

WARNING: The following video contains language suitable only for the Trump types and NSWF, so if you prefer to watch a CENSURED version, go here.

(Props also go to Ornella Poumián for the amazing illustrations.)

Ever Wanted to Give Donald Trump a ‘Chanclazo?’ These people Will Do it for you

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A group of advertising creatives hailing from several countries have concocted a way to persuade Latinos to go vote on November 8: using the power of La chancla, the most powerful persuasion tool known to Latinos.

With the hopes to increase the number of registered Hispanics that actually go out and cast a vote, the group has crafted VoteOrLaChancla, a platform that will give Donald Trump the schooling he deserves (i.e. a smack on the face with a chancla) every time you pledge to vote.

For details about the super simple tech involved in this thing, go to CNET en Español

Hat tip: Chancla correspondent @lechancle