See? I had to learn about this by a non-Mexican person, because last time I checked, my people had no idea that a Mexican Car Bomb is simply a vanilla shake with Guinness, tequila caramel sauce and chocolate flakes.
The concoction is sure to please those already clueless enough to believe Cinco de Mayo is Mexico’s celebration of Independence and just one more excuse to stuff themselves with made-believe Mexican fare.
So, go ahead. Visit U.S. Taco Co., get bombed and puleeeze stay away from real Mexicans.
Click below for a quick trip to some of the silliest Cinco de Mayo gimmicks.
I just found out there is an online collective of “Expert Latinos” called -ahem- Expert Latinos, which is already providing “expert Latino advice” to publications including El Diario la Prensa, Cosmopolitan Latina and La opinión. Per a press release:
Expert Latinos is an English-language tool that helps connect journalists and bloggers with Latino Experts.
I’m not quite sure if Expert Latinos is made up of mostly Latino Professionals or Professional Latinos, but I promise to find out. In the meantime, here’s their video-pitch.
Call me crazy, but when it comes to marketing sausages, chicken breast, bologna and other cold cuts, using the image of a flasher is not exactly a terrific idea.
I found the above Oscar Mayer ad in the latest issue of People en Español and while I was shocked to see an exhibicionista just there, exposing himself I was relieved to see he was “exhibiting” slices of turkey breast and not a giant wiener. Phew!
The channel, which is being sponsored by condom maker Trojan and Big Mac maker McDonald’s, features videos on comedy, music, lifestyle and sports.
The following video -inexplicably tagged as comedy- is a 4-minute-plus rant about what non-Latinos should expect from dating a Latina. And no, you don’t have to spend 4:09 minutes of your life watching it.
I watched it entirely, so you don’t have to and here’s the gist of it:
Latinas are crazy
Dating a Latina will make you fat (even if they cook with Mazola)
We love to cook tamales and pozole and quesadillas
If you are going to be in a relationship with a Latina, you should consider joining Weight Watchers
We [Latinas] are clingy
We are like your probation officer but with sex -and frijoles
Or, you can watch… But don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Temporary breast tattoo company TaTaToos is so excited about Cinco de Mayo, it has come up with a culturally-relevant line of tattoos that promise to make your holiday -what else?- spicier.
I’m not sure what’s more depressing; if saying “tatas” instead of tetas, or having you celebrate the Battle of Puebla by imprinting some Spanish-language copy on your chest.
In any case, here’s part of the pitch from the original press release:
Make your Cinco de Mayo HOT this year with Ta*ta*toos – temporary tattoos that last up to 5 – 7 days. They are perfect to apply lower on the chest to ensure discreetness when wearing apparel and can be removed with household rubbing alcohol in less than 30 seconds!
I don’t think I’ll be celebrating a Mexican holiday by putting a tattoo on my “tatas…” Still, that part about rubbing alcohol on them sounds quite enticing.