Move over, Amazon’s Deluxe Yoga Mat… here comes the Michael Kors jerga-inspired sweater, making its debut this week at New York’s Fashion Week.
You might think this is, like, wow, but if you happen to be Mexican, chances are you’ve either worn one of these or saw it at your local tianguis for about… 10 pesitos.
The only good news is that Mexican Twitter isn’t having any of this:
– Nueva colección @MichaelKors que probablemente cuesta miles de pesos…
– Sudadera que compré en el mercado de Coyoacán hace dos años por $200.00 pesos.
🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ Por esto y muchas cosas más odio la industria de la Moda. 🤦🏻♂️ pic.twitter.com/q20kRXlAl2
I hope by now you are aware that Cinco de Mayo is NOT Mexico’s Independence Day. Sixteen of September is, and the bash actually kicks off on the night of the 15, so by the time the 16 actually arrives, everybody is just too drunk to remember anything.
I might be a gringa now, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still a Mexican, so I decided to put together a quick list of the Five Things you Must Do to Celebrate El Grito in this increasingly globalized country.
1. Buy a Made-in-China Mexican flag
2. Go to your nearest Walmart and stock up on the cheapest non-Agave Tequila. (The real thing is too expensive for the average Mexican, and its production is already exclusive for exporting to gringos.)
3. Tell your wife you want your pozole spicy, even if she cannot afford to buy meat anymore.
4. Tune in the Canal de las Estrellas to witness our pathetic president yell ¡Viva México! repeatedly
5. Yell ¡Viva México! — repeatedly — right after our pathetic president. Hopefully by this time you’ll be too wasted on the fake-Tequila methanol to feel any shame.
Repeat as many times necessary until you feel a true patriotic fervor.
¡Viva México! ¡Viva México! ¡Viva México!
If anything else fails, go get a Texican Whopper or a Quesalupa. See you on the 16th as everyone will be most likely be puking somewhere.
The owners of this cantina in the heart of Villahermosa, México, thought naming their joint Las Torres Gemelas (The Twin Towers) might not be impactful enough, so they added a dash of reality by posting a photo of Manhattan with the Brooklyn Bridge as background.
Oh, and by the way, they are hiring and actively looking for a “presentable” lady who really wants to work…