Day of the Dead Is the New Cinco de Mayo –and I Can’t Even

Organic yellow corn tortilla chips with typos for Día de Muertos en gringolandia

Come November, there’s one thing that really, really, gets on my nerves (besides pumpkin-spice stuff, of course) and that is America’s obsession with the Mexican tradition known as Día de Muertos (basically Day of the Dead) or as some gringos dare calling it: Mexico’s Halloween.

Anyhow, in an effort to show you I was right when back in 2018 I decided to call Day of the Dead the New Cinco de Mayo, I will be posting here some of the most bizarre/sad/pathetic/senseless examples of what America is doing with one of Mexico’s most beloved traditions.

CLICK THROUGH THE FOLLOWING GALLERY OF HORRORS and be sure to check back as I’ll be updating this thing as soon as new barbaridades come my way…

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I hate to say I told you, but I told you ….

JLo’s 25th Fragrance [Yes, 25th!] Was Inspired by Warren Buffet –for Some Reason

Not content with making us jealous of her $3,000 coat and being booked to perform at the 2020 Super Bowl’s halftime, Jennifer Lopez (aka Jenny from the Block) is launching her 25th fragrance (yes 25th!) which –according to Lopez and most proably her army of publicists– “represents all the promises we make to ourselves everyday.”

But unlike the 24th previous JLo fragrances, Promise has been inspired by none other than billionaire Warren Buffett:

“About a year or two ago, I was having dinner with Warren Buffet. He told me something that really resonated with me, that a brand is a promise,” she said. “I just feel like everything I put out in the world has to be a promise. We have to have promises to ourselves…I thought it was the perfect time in my life to name a fragrance Promise, because every time we create something new it’s a promise that it’s something that will make your life better, make you feel sexy and beautiful.”

I promise I’ll try your Promise, Jenny, just please promise me I’ll end up looking like this 👇🏽 👇🏽 👇🏽 👇🏽

John Oliver on Columbus Day: How Is this Still a Thing?

Those of you who really know me, know that I’ve been saying this, like, forever. But it takes a brilliant, non-American, non-journalist with tons of followers out there to say this just like it is.

HOW IS COLUMBUS DAY STILL A THING?

Please WATCH the following 2:41 minutes (below) and join me in kicking off the celebration of Frank Sinatra Day, instead*.

*At least until we find out he hasn’t killed any Native Americans….

Owners of this Music Shop in Mexico Could Use a Crash Course in History

As a guitar enthusiast (and not very good player) I’m always looking around for music and guitar-related stuff online, but I honestly wasn’t ready for this.

Mexican music shop Holocausto Music is being around for over 20 years and –apparently– nobody has ever blinked at their… unusual moniker. Featuring two 1,500-square meters stores in Mexico, the Fender Custom shop has also been the recipient of multiple awards, including one by Fender Guitars itself.

I want to believe they’re not ill intentioned. I guess they just didn’t think this through –or never took History in school.

¡Ay, caramba!

Photo via: Reddit

The Avocado Duvet Cover Is a Hipster’s Dream Come True –and I’m Dead Now

Urban Outfitters wants you to cozy up in this summer-perfect, aguacate duvet –for some reason.

If you thought the avocado craze in America had peaked at the avocado Halloween costume and the avo-romantic engagement stunt, think again.

The folks over at Urban Outfitters are proudly peddling the Avocado Duvet Cover set, a “summer-perfect duvet in crisp, cool Percale cotton featuring our UO-exclusive allover avocado print.”

It is available in several sizes and at a discounted price of $59.99, it will hopefully not leave you broke, so you can go buy a $20 avocado toast –or something ridiculous like that.

Now if you’ll excuse me…

Sombrero tip: @saltasolt