‘Rich, Arrogant, Ignorant People Should not be Presidents,’ Says Rich, Arrogant, Ignorant former President

Fox

You know the world has gone to hell when you have people like Vicente Fox criticizing Donald Trump for being an “ignorant, rich, pompous man,” who shouldn’t be president because that would be just crazy.

As my abuela used to say: El burro hablando de orejas (The pot calling the kettle black) and where is the EXIT door? I want out now!

WATCH. CRINGE AND – NEVER FORGET:

Pillsbury Wants you to Believe this ‘thing’ is a Taco. It’s not

From the 'What the hell is this?' archives
From the ‘What the hell is this?’ archives

As if Taco Bell’s efforts to sell you “make-believe” Mexican food weren’t enough, Pillsbury is now peddling the Chicken Taco Grande Ring, yet another American-made concoction that will make sure your children will grow up with a twisted idea of what my people (i.e. The Mexicans) really eat.

According to my sources (i.e. my Brooklyn Special Taco Correspondent) there’s even a TV commercial of this thing airing on prime time, declaring “it’s time for the taco to come out of its shell.”

Well, I have news for you, Pillsbury: It’s not time for anything. This “thing” is not even a taco, so Stop. This. Now.

Hat tip: Brooklyn taco correspondent JPFalcone

Grupo Televisa Launches Netflix-Like Service in Mexico; Hilarity Ensues

IMG_4241

Mexican media giant — and Univision partner in [programming] crime — this week announced the launch of Blim.com, an OTT service á la Netflix.

Per the official announcement, the service is expected to cost $6.05 per month (which is roughly many, many, many pesos) and feature “relevant, Spanish-language programming targeting users in Mexico and Latin America.”

Mexicans promptly took to Twitter to share their “enthusiasm” around this thing. NOT.

Here are only a few examples of what Mexico twitteratti is saying about Blim.com

 

“Everyone is making money on the Internet; except us!” — Televisa introducing Blim.com

 

My friend, Azcárraga. Congrats on Blim; you do know what young viewers really want to watch on the Internet.

 

My phone is so smart, it will not install Blim

 

Or … does it only work on Alcatel phones?

Al parecer #Blim sólo funciona en dispositivos Alcatel.

This survey

 

Ironies aside, there are some tuiteros, including God himself, who think Blim can be a success. But three things must happen first: 

1. Better programming

2. Better pricing

3. Netflix must disappear

 

Bud Light Banner Ad in Spanish Features Amy Schumer, Seth Rogen and Bad Grammar

budlight2Dear people of Budweiser:

While I appreciate your efforts to peddle bad, watery beer to my people (i.e. The Hispanics,) your advertising agency would be well-advised to plunk down a few pesitos to hire ME some Spanish-speaking person to at least — AT LEAST — proofread your stuff.*

Perhaps the folks that worked on the above banner would want to use Google Translate instead, which I’m sure is what you guys did to translate this other thing (below).

 

*DM me for details

The Road to Hell is Paved With Sexy Women

tlaquepaque3.jpg

I took this picture in Tlaquepaque, Jalisco, a city famous for its beautiful streets and colonial buildings and its very, very conservative citizens. For those of you, non-Spanish speakers but loyal followers of my blog, a lose translation:

We will not grant communion to women wearing dresses with straps, or whose backs show, or wearing shorts or cleavages, or those who show their breasts or legs… and to men wearing shorts.

Needless to say, I was not allowed anywhere near there, thus the nature of the sloppy image.

Oh, and in case you were wondering: Tlaquepaque is the sister city of Springfield, Missouri (I kid you not!)

Bernie Sanders en Español: Progresivo [sic], Honesto… and the Spanish Subjunctive is a Bitch

Bernie Sanders Hispanic Spanish campaign
I believe they meant: ‘Quiero que votes por este hombre’

Bernie Sanders this week launched a new campaign ad in which we hear the Senator speak some Spanish at the end.

While saying “Soy Bernie Sanders y apruebo este mensaje” is not a very difficult thing to say and have him practice, Bernie’s Hispanic campaign — and Bernie’s supporters — would be well advised to take a better look at their Spanish-language print and online copy.

Take the above promo by a Bernie Sanders advocacy group, which perfectly shows what many non-native Spanish speakers have known for years: The Spanish subjunctive is a bitch.

Oh… and DON’T get me started on “Progresivo” por favor.

UPDATE: This blog post was updated on Sunday February 21, 2016 to reflect the promo is not an official Bernie Sanders ad, but one created by advocacy group Women for Bernie.

Hillary Clinton Makes Good on Her Promise to Be our Abuela

hillary

Making good on her promise to be the savior of my people and assume the role of our abuelas, Grandma Clinton has released Brave, a new 60-second spot in which we see her reassuring a young girl who says her parents are going to be deported.

“My parents have a letter of deportation,” the girl says. “I’m scared they are going to be deported.” Clinton then calls the girl on stage and tells her that she’s going to do everything she can to help her.

WATCH and do not try to hold back tears, because I guess that’s what we’re supposed to do upon seeing this thing.

Have fun. Have sex. Beware of HIV — and faulty marketing in Spanish

Prep

It’s always great to see New York City spend money in communicating useful stuff to Spanish-speaking New Yorkers (there are tons of us, you know?) but it should be well advised to work a little more on their Spanish-language marketing copy.

Take the print ad above (seen at a my local bar in West Harlem) talking about the all too important PrEP, a daily pill also known as Truvada, that helps high-risk individuals lower their chances of getting infected with the HIV virus. While the overall message is kind of understood (I hope) the NYC Health Department might want to work on its Esté VIH E ITS Seguro copy, which last time I checked meant absolutely nothing.

That said, stay safe neoyorquinos: Have fun BUT, more importantly, remember to protect yourselves from HIV and bad Spanish.

Photo: Laura Martínez, Harlem

Sombreros Galore During Pope’s Mexico Visit, because ¡Ajúa!

penanieto

Next time you go all funny thinking my people feel offended about sombreros and such, remember there’s nothing we love more than putting mariachi hats on everybody. And by everybody, I mean everybody.

 

Pope Francis Gets Convenient Gift Before 12-Hour Flight

sombrero Pope Francis

Right before taking a plane that will take him to Cuba, then Mexico, Pope Francis received a bunch of gifts from several Latin American journalists who are making the trip with him. Among my favorites: A gigantic sombrero featuring what looks to be the map of Argentina and a cartoonish image of Pope Francis himself.

Poor Bergoglio… and he hasn’t even arrived yet.

Via: @infobae