FUNIBER Wants You to Master in Bad Spanish

I just love it when teaching institutions spend their money luring U.S. Hispanics to whatever it is that they do. But my favorite ones have to be those who offer a Master in Spanish as a Second Language by pitching the course in, well, lousy Spanish.

Take FUNIBER (Fundación Universitaria Iberoamericana,) an obscure academic institution that has been advertising in some Latino-targeted sites in the U.S., promising students to make the most out of speaking Spanish.

Problem is: If you are truly a Spanish-speaker (so presumably you can teach others) you’d know you have to say “Haz de tu español una gran ventaja” and NOT “Has de tu español una gran ventaja,” simply because, you know? it is WRONG!

Too subtle for you? Go check your dictionary. But, more importantly, don’t let these guys fool you!

People Wearing Baseball Caps, Same Color T-Shirts Pose a Danger to America

Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu was quick to point out he has nothing to do with the billboard above (found standing on private property just north of Tucson, Arizona.) And this is bad, really, because who on Earth is going to explain this blogger what this is supposed to communicate?

What -or who- is a “public safety issue” and “national threat to America”?

Is it people with baseball caps? Families wearing same color tops? Anybody?

Finish Your Week-long Bicentennial Bash With Some Good Ol’ Mexican-Themed Videogame

Cueca Hero is not doing it for you? How about some Mexican-packed action?

In this stereotype-ladden video game -brilliantly named Chili con Carnage, Mexican mariachi music plays in the background while a ‘malo muchacho’ (sic) beats the crap out of his enemies, shooting everyone on his path and terrifying the local chickens while he is at it.

Ay, caramba!

Mexico Is so Independent, Even Its Coke Bottles Feature Native-Looking Women and Colorful Stuff

Oh dear. I wish I could say this is just a bad Internet joke but, well, it isn’t.

Starting this weekend, you will start to see a lot of marketing crap stuff around Mexico’s Independence Bicentennial, including the Coca-Cola Special Bicentennial Edition, consisting of 31 collectible bottles representing each one of Mexico’s 31 states. Because, how else to celebrate our country’s independence than with a good, refreshing ol’ coca?

Como dijo Don Porfirio: Poor Mexico… So far from God, and so close to the United States!

Marketing Health Care En Español: Right Mix of Tripe Stew, Vegetables and Exclamation Points

Forget everything you know about Hispanic marketing. New York-based Calvary Hospital knows that offering a first rate -and world renowned- health care is not enough: One must never forget to offer patients a hearty concoction made up of soaked tripe and vegetables.

Per Connie DeJesus’ testimony: “Calvary Hospital restored my husband’s spirit with a world renowned care. And a mondongo soup!”

El Diario La Prensa 09/08/2010

Shakira Launches Own Fragrance… Sadly Not Called “Waka-La”

Shakira (aka Legally Blond Part III) has finally launched her own fragrance, which according to her very tacky self is a “fresh, elegant and suave aroma, whose main ingredients are jasmine, vanilla and sandalwood.”

The concoction goes by the name of “S by Shakira,” which I think is, like, booooring! Had the Colombian asked this blogger for advice, I would have suggested Waka-La (or -if looking to attract the Mexican market- she could also go for Guácala.)

Daryl Cagle Annoys the Hell Out of Mexicans… Even Paulina Rubio Knows Our Flag is Sacred

If Mexicans needed another reason to vent their ire against a gringo (any gringo) they found a good one this week. Provocative political cartoonist Daryl Cagle really managed to piss off hundreds of Mexicans with what many are calling a “desecration of the Mexican flag.”

Shame on you, Mr. Cagle!!!

Didn’t you know Mexicans are so proud of our flag that we use them to wrap up our beloved celebrities? Gee!

Hat tip to my manito, whom I wish never to see wrapped in anything remotely patriotic