Ever wondered how to make a Dominican quesadilla? Easy!
Just prepare a gringo quesadilla (flour tortillas, yellow/orange plastic-y cheese and pico de gallo) and serve with a side of French fries; something you think is “chipotle sauce,” and a 12 oz. small-caps “pepsi.”
Are you still in lockdown, on a tight budget for fancy avocados and still haven’t made any “ethnic-looking” friends?
You can now buy 5-feet-tall Mexican “scene setters,” ready to assemble and give your Super Bowl party a unique fiesta touch. It’s as easy as bashing a piñata! Besides, with the pandemic still in full swing, WHO NEEDS REAL PEOPLE AROUND, ANYWAY?
For only a few bucks, you can pretend to have real Mexicans at your birthday, bautizo, quinceañera, wedding, etc. These Insta-Mexicans are over 5 feet high; they won’t eat all the tamales, nor gulp all the beer or crash in your living room forever.
So, what are you waiting for? Go get your Instant Mexicans ahorita mismo!*
*I bet these are totally Made in China, but just pretend you didn’t read this note at all.
Worry not! Canine Carry Outs has exactly what you’re looking for. I give you Taco Minis, “a soft and chewy dog snack with the look and taste of miniature beef tacos.”
Now, I shouldn’t get into the whole specifics about what a “taco” actually entails, but the creators of this taco-treat-canine-wonder assure me these dog treats are “the perfect size and texture for treating as part of a balanced diet.”
So what are you waiting for? Get your perro some of these and wait for it to start barking in Mexican!
Remember the Baby Yoda Rosca de Reyes? Well, it was only a matter of time until a very creative Mexican entrepreneur came up with the February-Candelaria Tamalorian sequel.
Let me explain. Many of you might not know that Candlemas (i.e. El Día de la Candelaria) is celebrated each February in Mexico by dressing up Baby Jesus and eating tamales like there is no tomorrow. Said tamales (mind you) are supposed to be provided by the same person who got the plastic Baby Jesus in their rosca on January 6.
I know, it’s … complicated, but bear with me.
The point I’m trying to make is that there is a new Star Wars-themed Rosca-Candelaria kid in town: Meet the Tamalorian, the galactic offspring of Baby Yoda Rosca de Reyes, inspired in your favorite Mandalorian character.
These beauties are the creation of Super Roscas, a Mexico City pastry shop and come in several flavors: Baby, Chuby, Oscuro, Arturo and Tamalorian.
Filing under, Mexicans: How Can Anyone Not Like Us?