Latin America’s ‘Axis of Evil’ Joins Twitter

Not content with debuting this week on Twitter, Hugo Chávez -aka @ChavezCandanga is now inviting pals Evo Morales and Fidel Castro to follow suit.

I am already a morbid loyal follower of both, @ChavezCandanga @ReflexionFidel, though my sources tell me the latter is not the real Fidel.

Honestly, who cares? reading Fidel’s “thoughts” in 140 characters is much better -and time-efficient- than sifting through his 8-hour-speeches.

[Can’t wait to start following Evo and his thoughts about transgenic chicken and gay people]

Censored ‘Fortune’ Cover Featured Guantánamo Prisoners, Mexican Workers, Sinking Homes

So this is the cover Fortune magazine first assigned to comic book artist Chris Ware, who chose an accurate -and clearly uncomfortable- way to depict modern capitalism.

According to Chicagoist, Ware was asked to design the May cover of the magazine, but his final product, which featured Guantánamo Bay prisoners, Mexican factory workers, and a few potshots at money-grubbing politicians was apparently not what Fortune had in mind.

So here it is for your viewing pleasure.

Ah… don’t you just love the Internet?

Forget Arizona. Mexico Gets Own NASA. Yay!

Crap! I was so busy bitching at Jan Brewer and the whole Arizona brouhaha, that I failed to acknowledge the truly super-terrific news item of, like, the whole year: The Mexican Congress this week voted for the creation of AEXA, a national space agency, which according to its backers, “will help Mexico develop a space policy and stimulate investment in aerospace technology.”

Among AEXA’s biggest enthusiast is the one and only José Hernández, who has not only flown on the shuttle Discovery and lobbied for the creation of a Mexican space agency, but was brave enough to follow me on Twitter!

As far as I can tell, AEXA will not be sending astronauts into space nor building rockets any time soon, but who cares, really? We will be KICKING some-serious-ass and showing Arizona our people can really transcend borders (and not necessarily by jumping fences.)

¿Quién dijo que no se puede?

Image: Chewy Pulido

Arizona, The Land of Wonder… I Wonder How Long I Could Go Without Being Arrested

According to the state’s official tourism visitor guide, Arizona is a Land of Wonder; a place where you can plan a “Grand” vacation filled with fun activities including hiking, biking, rafting and even mule-riding.

What I find most fascinating, though, is the fact that the guide highlights the state’s proximity to Mexico, and actually encourages tourists to visit Mexico:

“Mexico boasts cultural festivals, heritage areas, colonial towns, pre-Colombian history such as Mayan and Aztec ruins, and much more. […] Tourists can take advantage of the great beaches, archeological zones, music, art, food, and cultural experiences.”

Ah…. so now I finally get it!

What this whole thing means is: If you want to see Mexicans, or anything related to Mexico’s culture or heritage, you’ll be better off taking a car and cross the border; chances are you will not see any of that around here anymore.

[Oh, and please don’t worry; Mexican cops are not into racial-profiling. They are equal opportunity shooters.]

Arizona’s SB1070 is So Bad, Even Tancredo Worries

Yes, my friends. Former Congressman and Presidential candidate Tom Tancredo this week blasted the Arizona immigration bill, saying it might have gone too far.

He even expressed concern that people would be “pulled over because [you] look like should be pulled over.”

Mind you, this comes from one of the country’s most forceful opponents of illegal immigration or, as Jon Stewart pointed out lately:

“The man Mexican parents tell their kids about to make them to eat their vegetables!”

So, yeah, it’s that bad!

Image: via Early Onset of Night

‘People en Español’ to Unveil 50 Most Beautiful Latinos [Hint: I’m Not One of Them]

One more year has gone by and this blogger’s dreams have been shattered… again. Not content with not picking me among its 15 Most Influential Latinos, People en Español this year forgot to send me my application for this year’s Los 50 Más Bellos special edition.

The list is expected to be unveiled Monday night (April 26) during El Show de Cristina, giving Univision viewers “an exclusive peek at this year’s coveted issue, revealing the list of celebrities, as well as the cover, before the magazine hits the stands on April 30th.”

So there you have it. I’m now almost certain I didn’t make to the the list, but that’s OK, as long as they keep me on board as the un-official chronicler of the Bellos party.

Otherwise, I’m just going to have to keep hoping. As my abuela used to say: “La esperanza muere al último”.

Are You a Latino Travelling to Arizona? Don’t Forget to Fake a Foreign Accent Syndrome

If you belong to the ‘brown’ race and plan to travel to Arizona in the near future, make sure to fake a Foreign Accent Syndrome (FAS) a rare, but not uncommon condition that will make you sound as if you are from some exotic land, namely Ireland, Wales or as I like to call it, ABLA (Anywhere But Latin America.)

Please watch and pay attention! Don’t you let the 1070 bill catch you unawares! Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about "Foreign accent syndrome", posted with vodpod

Come Retire in Mexico! No Spanish Required

Despite all the bad news you’ve been reading lately about Mexico, there are places that just continue to attract large groups of Americans. And no, we’re not talking spring-breakers in Cancún.

According to Veteran’s Today (this blogger’s daily source of fresh news), Lake Chapala has become the number one retirement destination for U.S. veterans, partly because of its near perfect weather and low cost of living, but mostly -I suspect- because as the article states, “You can get by without Spanish.”

Which is, like, great, because if you didn’t need to learn any other language throughout your live, why start now?

Other advantages cited include -but are not limited to- “high quality health care, and pharmacies, with many bilingual professionals trained in the U.S. or Canada.”

[If none of this sounds attractive enough, think about it this way: wouldn’t you just love to hang out with your retired buddies while some local woman dances and prances around in a colorful dress and wearing a gigantic hat?]

Good Lord! Procter & Gamble Preps ‘Pedro & María,’ a Hispanic Version of ‘Romeo & Juliet’

And just when you thought Hispanic television couldn’t get any more entertaining [read it with irony, please] former NBC exec Ben Silverman is ready to give us a new telenovela (both in English and Spanish) to be called Pedro & María, and billed as “modern-day version of Romeo & Juliet.”

The show will be brought to you by Procter & Gamble (which the press continues to call “Proctor & Gamble“) and “will give its audience the ability to vote on the direction the characters and story lines take.”

So, without further ado, here’s my vote: Have Pedro and María take a swig of poison during the first episode and spare us the whole thing. Will you?

As for “Hispanic” adaptations of Romeo & Juliet, this blogger will stick to her favorite one, the one and only, brought to you by Mario Moreno Reyes himself.

Michelle Obama Goes to Mexico. Hosts Would be Well Advised to Work on their Wardrobe

This blogger Everybody is super excited about Michelle Obama’s first solo trip to Mexico this week, where she is expected to spend three days “meeting children, tour the anthropology museum and dine at Los Pinos, the president’s residence.”

The American press is so thrilled about the whole thing, that a journalist couldn’t help but make a comparison with another stylish, sophisticated, impeccably-dressed American first lady:

Almost 50 years ago, a first lady seized Mexico City‘s heart: the beautiful, chic, multilingual Jackie Kennedy, to whom Michelle Obama draws comparisons.

If this is the case, I can only hope our presidential couple will spend some time working on their wardrobe. This blogger will be scrutinizing the menu -and fashion- during such memorable (and bloggable) event.

Stay tuned!