Doritos Dinamita: Your Key to the Elusive Hispanic Millennial


Are you trying to reach the elusive Hispanic millennial but not sure how to go about it? I don’t blame you… After all, Hispanic millennials, while similar to regular, non-Hispanic millennials are a “dynamic group of individuals with diverse backgrounds and distinct traits.” Duh.

This and other shocking revelations can be found in this “insightful” (LOL) PR Week piece, which has laid out some awesome marketing tips for brands trying to reach Hispanic millennials. My favorite:

An example of a brand creating a product “para mi” is Doritos’ launch of Dinamita Nacho Picoso, rolled tortilla chips that are similar to taquitos (also known as flautas), a common Latin American dish. This not only illustrates Doritos understands the culture and flavor preferences of this community, but underscores the influence Hispanic Millennials and the Latin palette have on driving mainstream trends and new products.

Other insights inform us that Hispanic millennials “listen to Calle 13 and Jay-Z and eat arroz con pollo and mac and cheese interchangeably,” which is, like great and all, although I’m not sure where the Dorito-Nacho-Picoso-Latin-eating fits in here. You tell me.

Colombia Will not Win Spelling Medal at ‘Word’ Games


Now, this is awkward.

According to Colombian (not Columbian) newspaper El Tiempo, the country’s organizing body of this year’s World Games has recalled the 1,221 gold, silver and bronze medals that were supposed to be handed to athletes at this year’s competition.

The reason? A not-so-tiny misprint…

It’s “World” not “Word”… Just like “It’s Colombia, not Columbia.”

Hat tip: @TersitesD

In Latest Sign of Commitment to U.S. Hispanics, Dish Goes ‘Google Translate’

IMPORTANT UPDATE: On 07/29/2013 Dish responded to this post by a Tweet presumably written by a human being with very, very poor writing skills in Spanish.



One does not have to be a genius to realize Dish Networks is very good at pinching pennies. Otherwise, how would you explain them using Google Translate when they could have called this blogger to do a relatively better job translating “Now Playing?”

Anyhow… I guess “No cost” beats “Low cost.”

Hat tip: @elburgues

‘Betty la Fea’ in Arabic is ‘Heba Regel -El Ghorab’

Actress Amy Samir Ghanem will play the starring role of Betty in 'Heba Regel-El Ghorab'
Actress Amy Samir Ghanem will play the starring role of Betty in ‘Heba Regel-El Ghorab’

Great news coming from crisis-ridden Egypt, you guys!

A Sony production office in Cairo today announced the upcoming premiere of an Arabic version of Yo Soy Betty la Fea, the famed Colombian telenovela that has seen hundreds of versions worldwide -and its share of product placements– including ABC’s Ugly Betty.

The Arabic version will be called Heba Regel- El Ghorab, which I believe means Yo soy Betty la Fea in Arabic, though I’m not 100% sure.

Per Sony, the new series consists of 90 one-hour episodes that will air in Arabic and will be seen throughout the Arab world, including Algeria, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Egypt, United Arab Emirates, Iraq, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Libya, Morocco, Oman, Qatar, Sudan, Syria, and Tunisia.

I think this is great, especially if you believe (like I do) that telenovelas are wonderful pacifiers and help suppress civilian uprisings in some countries (ahem, ahem, Mexico?)

So stop revolting already, and watch a novela instead!

The ‘New York Times’ Exposes Our Plan to Sneak into the U.S.


We didn’t plan for this to go public, but ‘The New York Times’ had to go and ruin it for us. Yes, part of Latinos’ master plan to sneak into this country is by disguising ourselves as movie mascots.

What the New York Times doesn’t know is that once we have managed to sneak in (like Mr. Martinez, above) we then move onto Phase II of the plan, which consists of a more elaborate scheme to rapidly populate the country.

The Evolution of Mexican Food in New York City

It is no secret that we (i.e. “The Mexicans”) are taking over the so-called Big Apple. And we are doing this quietly and deliciously, by replacing your Ketchup with salsa; your bagels with tortillas; your apple pie with buñuelos, etc.

But -as we all know- with acculturation comes the making up of words / concepts, so my paisanos over at the Chelsea Street Fair this weekend treated me with a delicious huarche, one I gulped down with 2 liters of Jarrito de Tamarindo.

I love Manhatitlán.

This William Levy Commercial Is Making me Thirsty

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William Levy, the most beautiful man on Planet Earth –and a so-so telenovela actor– is hilarious in these series of new spots for Pepsi Next.

Produced in English and Spanish, the spots feature the Cuban-American heartthrob cheesily playing several roles: An action figure, a rock star, a doctor, a romantic and a sci-fi guy.

My favorite, of course, is the cheesy romantic. It makes me want to grab him a Pepsi Next right this minute.

The ‘Cinco Barrios Skateboard’ Is la Más ‘Fresca’ de NYC!


My friend Diego Olivé spotted this “cute cultural hodgepodge-Latinocaliente skateboard” at a local sports store in Union Square, so I wasted no time in asking his permission to steal this beauty. And why not? It so perfectly embodies everything that is awesome about living in New York City.

[And to think there are still some morons out there who spit at multiculturalism and/or bilingualism…]

Photo: Diego Olivé (New York, NY, 2013)

Racist, Ignorant People Can Be Oh, So Amusing!


Take James Fulford, a writer over at anti-immigration, anti-multiculturalism, anti-coherence online community Vdare, who recently took to the web to denounce “upper-class, disloyal Hispanic journalists (specifically Univision’s Cristina Costantini) for “campaigning  to import lower class illegals—who won’t live in their neighborhoods.” 

According to Fulford, Costantini –whom he refers to as “Cosantini” for some reason– is totally biased in favor of immigrants, because (duh!) she works at Fusion, a company partly owned by Univision, which in turn is “owned” by none other than the “cute-as-a-button* blue-eyed, Mexican journalist Jorge Ramos.”

Way to go, Mr. Fulford! I’m adding your website to my list of favorites; it is not very often that racist, ignorant remarks make me laugh so hard that I almost choked on my gordita de chicharrón.

*The “cute-as-a-button” part is mine.

Move Over, Barbie! El Chavo Is Coming to a Store Near You


And you thought Mexico’s only contribution to this glorious country were tacos, salsa and drug-related violence…

Starting mid-August a new line of El Chavo toys will be available at major U.S. retailers, including Toys R Us, Kmart, Walmart and -ahem, ahem- Target, the corporation behind this awesome Hispanic guide targeted to non-Hispanics who wish to understanding Hispanics.

I don’t know you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on a tiny plush version of La Popis or Doña Florinda, which I’m sure are all going to be Made-in-China, but isn’t everything Made-in-China these days?

[I’d take a Ñoño doll a hundred times over this other one]

Target Corp. Missed Some Crucial Insights About Hispanics

Some Hispanics (including myself, above pictured) do like to wear hats and funky dresses while cooking inedible stuff using the Guatemalan flag and a poster of a Flamenco dancer as background. Don’t ask.

In light of recent developments, (news that Target Corp.’s management gave bosses some very valuable information about Hispanics) this blogger decided to add a few items to an already stupid comprehensive list of how to go about Hispanic employees.

Target Corp.’s document, first published by Courthouse News Service, informed company managers that “Not all Hispanic employees eat tacos, dance to salsa or wear sombreros,” (ignore the above photograph for one second) or that Mexicans have lower education and “might be undocumented.” So far so good… But it missed some equally important, and worth-making points… So, let’s just get right to them, shall we?

1) Mexicans will always end a sentence with “ito” no matter how much they hate your guts and wish to kill you: i.e. “Con permisito;” “Por favorcito,” “Al ratito,” “Un momentito,” etc.

2) Argentines will go out of their way to convince you they are not Hispanic, which is OK because they really are not, and chances are they are not working at Target anyhow. They will always end up a sentence with “boludo.”

3) Cubans are not only political refuges and better educated –as your document accurately states. They are going to throw a fit every time they see the “other Latinos” wearing a Ché Guevara T-shirt or any other outfit reminiscent of the so-called Cuban revolution. More often than not, Cubans will side with the gringos; not with the Latin ‘chusma.’

4) Not all Mexicans are into tacos: Actually, most of us prefer tortas ahogadas, mondongo, pozole, pancita, machitos, moronga, criadillas, tlayudas, pambazos, etc. etc.

5) Puerto Ricans will probably pay zero attention to whatever you tell them: They are going to be busy listening to reggaetón and holding on to their pants.

6) No matter how hard you try, they (i.e. all Hispanics) just probably going to say “pinche gringo, ya no estés jodiendo” as soon as you turn your back to them. In your face, though, they will be super nice and just say: ¡Sí, señor, ahorita, ahorita lo hago! un momentito.

7) Ecuadoreans and Bolivians are very different but you should always treat them as if they were Peruvians just to piss them off.*

*Last addition by Alberto Ferreras

Bilingual, Biracial Couple Romance Over a Pretzel Burger

Screen Shot 2013-07-09 at 11.10.41 AM

I’m not a fan of Wendy’s burgers, much less those made with Pretzel bread. But I have to give it to the fast food company, and it’s Hispanic advertising agency Bravo for the below commercial, which by the way is running on both, Hispanic -and non-Hispanic- TV networks.

The commercial belongs to the “Mucho Mejor campaign” featuring a Hispanic family, the Rojos, who embrace both American culture and their Hispanic roots. The Rojo family comprises a bilingual mom and dad with three children ranging from 7 to 16 years-old. Teenage daughter Roselin also dates Dylan, her teenage “mainstream” boyfriend.