I was spending way too much time roaming around Latino neighborhoods in New York City looking for Colombian Jeans Levanta Cola* (aka butt-lifting jeans). But then I found out Amazon.com has an an entire section of these, some of which even promise to “compress your tummy and delineate your waist.”
As a spicy member of such a collective, I can tell you that’s simply not true. But I do hope the Latinas that do support the president have had some time to brush up on their Spanish grammar skills. Last time I checked, they were proudly pitching themselves as Latinas para Trump, instead of the accurate Latinas por Trump.
Anyway: What’s with these people *and* their president’s lousy grammar?
Not Photoshop. Not an Internet meme. This is the actual front page of today’s sports section of Reforma, one of Mexico’s largest daily newspapers. In case you were wondering, the “white supremacy” (in this instance) is that of the Real Madrid after it beat Barcelona 2-0 on Wednesday night. They wear white uniforms, get it? Ha Ha Ha.
Anyway, I believe I don’t need to tell you how timely the above headline is as it comes on the heels of the deadly mass riots organized by white nationalists — and self-described Neo-nazis — in Charlottesville, Virginia this past weekend.
And just when I thought life couldn’t be more miserable, Taco Bell today announced the national rollout of the “Naked Egg Taco,” a “thing” that for a while was only available to the poor souls of Flint, Michigan.
“The Naked Egg Taco strips down the traditional breakfast taco, allowing us to deliver a new flavor experience in every single bite,” said Liz Matthews, Chief Food Innovation Officer at Taco Bell Corp, apparently with a straight face.
In case you were wondering, this “thing” is filled with fried potatoes, cheese, sausage or bacon and will roll out nationwide on August 31 at a bargain price of $1.99.
This is Guadalupe Loaeza, a member of Mexico’s so-called intellectual elite who decided to celebrate her 71 birthday by repeatedly stabbing a Donald Trump piñata in her backyard — and proudly tweeting about it.
In case you’re wondering, Loaeza is a Mexican writer who became famous by chronicling the Mexican bourgeoisie (a group she knows well, because she belongs to it, of course.)
For reasons I fail to comprehend, she has been awarded the distinction of Chevalier from the Légion d’Honneur of France and written many books that I’ve successfully managed to avoid.
Mexican immigrants are not precisely popular these days –and I’m pretty sure we’ll all get deported real soon. But local mariachis are making their way to the world of high fashion, thanks in part to Kate Spade New York.
The brand has tapped the all-female mariachi band Flor de Toloache to tout its “timeless — and timely — collection,” which is full of “cute cultural references” and is now available on Kate Spade’s Website.*
WATCH as the all-female band gets on the [FAILING] New York City subway while model Fernanda Ly walks in sporting a “lace-trimmed flouncy dresses” and a handbag that features a tiny burrito or something weird like that.
*Alas, the fabulous black charro suits are not part of the collection’s offering.
If you happen to visit Google.com today (which is, like, super likely) you’ll find a colorful homage to Dolores del Río, the legendary actress who went to become as famous in Hollywood than in her native Mexico.
Calling her a “trailblazer for women in Hollywood and beyond,” Google’s homage is more than welcome, especially these days when immigrants are increasingly being hailed as “personas non gratas.”
Who cares if switching to Geico can save you 15 percent or more on car insurance?
If I were to have a car — or live in Texas — (both very unlikely scenarios) I’d totally call Jim Adler, aka El Martillo Tejano, who promises to protect my people (i.e. The Hispanics) from sleazy insurance companies and give us the most compensation possible in case of a car accident.
Watch Adler inform us about his services in the best Gringo-Spanish I’ve heard in a while.