BREAKING: Sting Goes to Mexico; Holds Taco Like a Boss

This blogger is real busy trying to get to brunch, so no time to write much, so you can just sit and contemplate this pic, like, forever…

Via: El Internet (LOL)

Posted in Burritos, Food, Latin America, Mexico, Pop culture, Tacos, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

It’s Not Colombia, nor Columbia… It’s Coloumbia!

Sometimes I think they’re just screwing with my head. It’s not like this is the first time.

Hat tip: Gabriel Velasco

Posted in ItsColombiaNotColumbia | Leave a comment

Hispanic TV Upfronts 2017: The Good, the Bad, the Beautiful

Enrique Iglesias (aka Henry Churches) rocked the Telemundo Upfront party Monday night

May is my favorite month of the year, and not only because it is my birthday, and spring is blooming and all that crap. It is because in addition to the very serious journalistic work I do everyday, I get to attend some of the presentations, parties and after-parties around the so-called Hispanic TV upfronts.

My favorite part, of course, is trying to cover the not-so-serious side of the three-day-marathon of parties, parties and programming presentations, interviews and business meetings.

Here are some highlights of this year’s Hispanic TV upfronts, which have left this blogger (and her liver) particularly damaged.

CNN en Español: Eñes, Eñes Everywhere!

* Hispanic TV Upfront week officially kicked off with a small, but lively party in New York City hosted by CNN en Español, which insists on putting an eñe on its logo, even though it looks silly and makes no sense whatsoever. This time around, though, the “eñe-offender” made its way to pillows, cookies and chocolates, because why have pass the opportunity to amplify the silliness?

The ‘zucker’ ran away before I could ask him a question

Personally, the highlight of this year’s CÑÑ’s presentation was non other than Jeff Zucker, the mero mero jefe of CNN (sans eñe,) who kicked off the event by addressing the audience in a moderately good Spanish.

Needless to say, this blogger did her best to run after him as soon as he stepped off the thing and tried to ask him who had coached him in the language of Cervantes. Alas, I have to report Mr. Zucker runs way faster than me!

Telemundo

Unlike previous years, Telemundo did not host its own upfront presentation, but was a small part of a much bigger event by parent company NBCU at Radio City Hall. But in an effort to make it up to the many people it didn’t invite to Radio City Hall (ahem, ahem, self,) it treated hundreds of advertising executives, media — and me, of course —  to a lavish party Monday night featuring Enrique Iglesias (also known as The-Singer-That-Makes-This-Blogger-Feel-Like-a-Cougar.)

As usual, right before the event I was able to squeeze past security and reach the so-called VIP area of the Hammerstein Ballroom, where I spotted my friend José Díaz Balart chatting with former Univision star Mario Kreutzberger (aka Don Francisco) who is making a TV comeback on Telemundo — for some reason.

It is important to note there was some kind of “wall” between me and the celebrities, but nothing a crafty Mexican couldn’t get through.

Univision’s ‘Proof of Passion’

Univision’s theme for its 2017 Upfront presentation was “Proof of Passion,” a celebration of the things that Hispanics are so passionate about, namely soccer, family and dancing! Yes, there was the usual stuff about how much my people (i.e. The Hispanics) love soccer, their family and all that jazz. But there were also some fun jabs at Telemundo’s own theme, SHIFT, which Univision simply dismissed as just “a crock of shift.”

“We’ve heard how there’s some kind of shift happening,” said Steve Mandala, Univision’s executive vicepresident of ad sales. “That is a crock of shift.”

LOL.

Univision’s presentation closed with Shakira performing two songs. TWO SONGS, after which she just simply wished us all well and walked away.

Oh and did I mention how RUDE and awful it was for Univision to forgo its lavish luncheon that had become a legend in town? Come on, Randy Falco, that luncheon was literally the only thing that made this blogger get her Latina butt moving and stand the horrors of Times Square.

Are you telling me Univision finances are so bad that you couldn’t afford the spiced pollo of last year? SAD!

‘People en Español’s’ Beautiful Latinos

‘People en Español’s’ Armando Correa insisted so much, that I had to attend his thing

No Hispanic TV upfront would be complete without the funnest party of them all: The People en Español’s 50 Más Bellos bash, an annual ritual for me — and 50 other beautiful Latinos.

This year, the party took place at ESPACE NY, and – unlike previous years – it was much smaller, and the room looked kind of empty at times. On the bright side, it was easier to harass famous, beautiful Latin people and refill my champagne glass way faster than in years before.

Other than me, other beautiful people who showed up included.

María Elena Salinas, looking sharp as ever and drinking tons of water (which is what I should have done)

Thalía, who received an special award for being the Latina that has been featuring more times in the special Bellos issue….

Thalía has appeared more times in the “coveted” Bellos list. Me, on the other hand…

David Chocarro, who was seen posing near some skincare products, but could have used a comb instead… 

… and Lili Estefan, Raúl de Molina, Geraldine Bazán, Gabriel Soto and many, many more famous Latinos whose name I couldn’t really catch after all those liters of … Seltzer water.

Anyhow, everything ended up smoothly and this blogger was able to go back home in one piece, blessed by a beautiful Manhattan night.

BTW: I just realized I’ve been doing is too long…

Posted in Marketing & Advertising, Print media, Stupid propositions, Telemundo, Televisa, Television, TV Azteca, Univision | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Univision and AT&T Present ‘Unlimited Chapo,’ Because Hispanic TV Needs More Stories about Drug Lords

Unlimited Chapo is brought to you by Univision and AT&T

In yet another sign that Hispanic television is determined to “superserve its audience with relevant programming,” Univision Communications has partnered with AT&T to bring us — are you ready? — El Chapo Ilimitado! (Unlimited Chapo,) a weekly Facebook Live series that “serves as a forum for fans to discuss new episodes of El Chapo, a new crime television series co-produced by Netflix and Univision.

El Chapo Ilimitado (which I’m sure is a wink to AT&T’s unlimited data plans, duh) is hosted by Univision personalities Lourdes Stephen and Carlos Calderón, who show an extraordinary disposition to look cheerful — and fun! — while discussing one of Mexico’s most sanguinary drug dealers every single week.

Per a company press release, this thing is streamed via Facebook Live on Univision’s Facebook page Sunday evenings at 10 p.m. immediately following the premiere of new episodes.

Say what you will, but Hispanic TV will never cease to depress amuse this blogger.

Now if you allow me, I’ll just go shoot myself.

Via: El Chapo Ilimitado

Posted in Awkard homages, crime, Latin America, Marketing & Advertising, Stupid propositions, Television, Univision | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Who Needs Banks When you Can Have Tacos Instead?

El Rancho, formerly NY Capital Bank, East Tremont and Park.

If there was any doubt that Mexicans have taken over the USA, take a walk on the wild side… of The Bronx; more especifically, around Webster Avenue, one of the borough’s longest throughfares, and you’ll come across El Rancho, formerly NY Capital Bank, and now home of some of the most delish Mexican food in the area.

Because, really, who needs walls — and/or banks — when you can have tacos?

Photo: Laura Martínez, Bronx, NYC

Posted in Burritos, Food, Mexico, Tacos, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

WARNING: Avocado Knife-Injuries on the Rise, Mostly Among non-Mexicans

Avocado Hand is no joking matter. Just ask Meryl Streep.

OKAY, people, stop doing whatever it is you are doing right now. A potentially devastating malaise known as Avocado Hand is affecting an increasing number of non-Mexican people, specifically those who have no idea how to cut an avocado, namely Americans and Brits.

According to the always reliable Daily Mail, the number of people visiting the emergency room suffering from “avocado hand” knife injuries is on the rise. But… how bad exactly is this thing? Well, it is so bad it once got none other than Meryl Streep, who famously required hand surgery after cutting her fingers while preparing a delish guacamole.

The problem is not limited to America, no señor. London-based plastic surgeon Simon Eccles told The Times that he sees about four patients a week now suffering with wounds caused by trying to cut an avocado, because — shockingly — there are avocados in London.

Fortunately, they are plenty of resources out there for you not to end up in the emergency room with a bunch of avocado-clueless anglos. There are even guides and fancy gadgets for you to master your avocado grip.

To wit…

and….

So, get yourself together and don’t say I didn’t warn you….

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Guacala, Pop culture, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Forget Comey Gate. What the Hell is a Pizzadilla?

Can somebody be impeached over this?

I don’t know about you, but whoever is responsible for the above abomination should be fired, if not impeached and/or sent to another planet or something.

Hat tip: Dabria Misko

Posted in Awkard homages, Burritos, Food, Guacala | Tagged | 1 Comment