Prudential Hopes to Connect with Latinos Using Nonsensical Hashtag in Spanish

I can only imagine what went on at the marketing pitch meeting for the above thing:

–Prudential Executive 1: We need to connect with Spanish-speaking latinos *and* let them know we can help them be prepared and get financially fit.

–Prudential Executive 2: Yeah, but the Prudential brand has to be prominent, and top of mind.

–Marketing dude: No se diga más. I got it!

Note: I was about to do some major research into this thing, but then I realized it has to do with Hispanicize, this blogger’s favorite Hispanic marketing conference, so everything makes sense now.

Here’s one of many tweets populating my timeline with calls of an upcoming #Prupárate Fiesta. 🙄

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10 Years without my Mami, the Funniest Mexican I Ever Met ❤️

Cuquita & yours truly in “Little Italy,” the two words I couldn’t pronounce without my mother cracking up at my “sophisticated, unintelligible gringo accent.”

Ten years ago today, my mother, my best friend –and the funniest Mexican I’ve ever met– quietly passed away in a small hospital room in Mexico City.

While her (sudden and premature) death was the worst thing me and my siblings have had to endure, she left us the one thing no one will ever take away from us: A sense of humor that –she assured us– was the only way to go through life, no matter how tough the shit got going.

Cuquita told the dorkiest jokes and made the funniest remarks about being divorced, poor, underemployed, hungover, uninsured, etc. (“I have saved enough money to last me until the day I die … as long as I die tomorrow,” she used to say often –while cracking up….or  “If I didn’t know this was a hangover… I’d rush to the nearest emergency room.” LOL.

I’m not exaggerating when I say my mother contributed to at least half all the Spanish slang and idiomatic expressions I used in Think Dirty Spanish. She would often call in the middle of the night with the great news that she had found –yet– another expression she’d love to see in the book. “¡Mosquita muerta!.. a ver ¿cómo dicen eso los gringos?”

She hated Walt Disney, but she wore the sweatshirt all the same, because… America!

We traveled the world together.

We went to shady tango joints in Buenos Aires; gigantic farmer markets in Los Angeles and colorful tavernas in Valparaíso, Chile. Once, on a trip between Santiago and Buenos Aires, right in the middle of the Andes, our plane had an engine failure and for a few, terrifying moments, we thought we would die right there. But then, as I hyperventilated and yelled in panic for a Valium or something, my mother started laughing out loud at our poor Argentine pilot, who was so distressed, he couldn’t even speak properly. Favor de no formor, he asked us, instead of Favor de no fumar.

BUAHAHAHAHAHA, my mom and I had a fit of hysterical, uncontrollable laughter.

Damn you, Cuquita! ¡Qué divertido era viajar juntas!

My favorite were her months-long visits to New York, when we’d roam the city in search of “real genuine stuff” to cook authentic Mexican things, but more often than not ended up in some fancy steakhouse drinking wine, cubas libres and eating meat like there was no tomorrow. (Oh, and did I mention the marathonic poker sessions?)

Cuquita spoke NO ENGLISH whatsoever, but none of that mattered, because in Nueva York, everyone knew her and spoke Spanish to her. My friends, my colleagues, my neighbors, the super, the bodega guy… todos.

To this day, no matter if I’m in CDMX or not, I know Cuquita will always have an altar in her home for Día de Muertos featuring some of her favorites: chocolates, pan de muerto, cigarettes and cubas libres (with flat Coke, which she seemed to favor –for some reason.) ¡Gracias, Catus!

I’m not sure where she is right now. But if there’s anything going on UP THERE, in the so-called afterlife, I’m sure she’s serving the cubas libres, setting up the poker table, telling the jokes –and having a blast.

Te quiero, mami. ❤❤

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7-Eleven Introduces “Hispanic Bakery Items.” I’m Sure They Taste as Bad as they Look ☹️


For those of you still having “breakfast” at  7-Eleven, I have [diversity] news for you: 7-Eleven is introducing a line of “Hispanic bakery items,” which it hopes will lure my people into eating their “breakfast” there.

According to the specialized media:

The new Hispanic packaged bakery items were tested “extensively” in Mexico for flavor, texture, aroma and appearance, 7-Eleven said.

What they don’t know, though, is that my people were just screwing with them. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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St. Patrick’s Day: The Other Binge Drinking Mexican Holiday


Go ahead; wear green and go out get drunk or whatever it is you do this weekend. But don’t forget Saint Patrick’s Day is a celebration of the Batallón de San Patricio, which according to Wikipedia my extensive readings of history books, was a unit of hundreds of immigrants and expats who fought as part of the Mexican Army against the United States.

Of course for Americans of the generation that fought the Mexican-American War, the San Patricios were considered traitors, while for Mexicans of that generation (and pretty much to this day) the San Patricios were heroes.

Now you know.

Now go get some green tequila and Irish tacos.

Posted in Awkard homages, Cinco de Mayo, Education, Immigration, Latin America, Literature, Mexico, Politics | Tagged | 1 Comment

The Irish Are Making Tacos, my Friends

Corned-beef and cabbage? That doesn’t sound very “Irish” to me.

It’s almost St. Patrick’s Day and if you have been paying attention, this means Irish-Americans are getting ready to celebrate with… Irish tacos!

Yes, my friends, brave Irish men in America have been making tacos for some time now, some of them with terrific success. However, for the most part, these are basically a concoction of leftover corned beef and boiled cabbage, “decorated” with Jack cheese, horseradish sauce — “or maybe a creamy sauce made with some Guinness stout.”

I don’t know about you, but I’ll be sticking to drinking Irish (and/or non-Irish) stuff on Sunday, so thanks but no thanks.

Via: Journal Now


Posted in Burritos, Food, Fusion, Guacala, Stupid propositions, Tacos | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Donald Trump Goes to the U.S.-Mexico Border. Hilarity Ensues

President Trump had the “brilliant” idea to visit San Diego to inspect several design prototypes for his proposed wall along the U.S.-Mexico border.

As I’m writing this, Mr. Trump was still at the border meeting with border patrol officers and wall-enthusiasts, so this post is only a taste of what’s to come.

Please check back later, as this post will be updated throughout the day with some of the most hilarious reactions to the visit, including –ahem, ahem– my very own (because, really, if I don’t laugh at my own jokes, who will?)

These people…

Go do something useful…

The Mexicans are OK

El Bisnes es el Bisnes

And the funniest thing that started it all!😂😂 via Reuters

Posted in El Trumpo, Latin America, Mexico, Personal, Politics, Pop culture, Stupid propositions, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

New York City’s New School Chancellor Is a Professional Mariachi. No, Really.

If everything else fails, Richard Carranza can always go back to serenading las muchachas. ¡Ajúa!

From the Archives of I Could Not Make This Thing Up if I Tried comes Richard Carranza, the recently appointed New York City Schools Chancellor, who took a very unsual approach when discussing his new job with Mr. De Blasio and wife: He serenaded them with mariachi song María Elena.

His background is plain awesome. Per the [failing] New York Times:

At Monday’s news conference, Mr. Carranza said he had been a mariachi musician since he was about 6 years old. When he wanted to stay up late with his father and his uncles, they said the only people staying up late were people playing instruments — so he learned to play the guitar. He later worked his way through college at the University of Arizona “gigging,” as he put it on Monday.

Now you know. If running our disastrous public school system turns out to be too much for this fellow Mexican, he can always go back to serenading las muchachas. ¡Ajúa!


Via: New York Times

Posted in Awkard homages, Corridos, Education, Language, Latin America, Mexico, New York City, Politics, Pop culture, Spanish, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment