Tired of ‘Regular Thanksgiving?’ Make it a Latino Thanksgiving

Photo: Saveur

Photo: Saveur

Let’s be honest: Just as any other holiday, Thanksgiving has become mostly another good reason to eat and drink in excess (at least in my case.)

But if a 3 pm “dinner” of turkey, pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce seems a little boring to you, you can always throw a “Latino Thanksgiving,” which basically means a three-day smörgåsbord of lechón, tamales, arroz, frijoles, elotetostones, tequila, poker games — and plenty of dancing and family drama.

If any of the above sounds exciting enough, you are in luck.

Here are 8 SIMPLE STEPS to turn your regular Thanksgiving into a Latino one:

  1. Turkey? Who eats turkey? Run to the closest bodega and pick the biggest lechón available. Roast and stuff an apple on its mouth while you’re at it.
  2. Cranberry sauce? We don’t even know what that is. Get a mojo going or start a guajillo marinade for said lechón
  3. Start with plenty of tamales and make sure to serve rice, beans, gandules, tostones and/or plantains on the side.
  4. Pumpkin? Who eats pumpkin? Really. Pumpkin is only good when you use its flowers to make one of these.
  5. Start serving dinner at 10 pm, because, really, who has dinner at 3 pm?
  6. Once the meal is over, and liters of alcohol have been consumed, be ready for your mothertía or abuela to start crying inconsolably over you not visiting more often, etc.
  7. No football. Who watches football? It’s not like it’s fútbol… Take out the baraja, the poker chips and open up the wallet.
  8. Turn up the music and dance like maniacs all night long. And do not worry about thy neighbor. Thy neighbor should be thankful to have a Latino family around. After all, what is Thanksgiving if not an opportunity to say gracias?

A Spanish-language version of this blog post first appeared on Univision.com

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Marketing in the Time of Google Translate…

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Taco Bell’s Thanksgiving Menu is so Ludicrous, it’s Actually Funny

These ‘things’ you see here are Turkeritos: Yep, turkey ‘tacos’

Taco Bell’s Friendsgiving menu is so ridiculous, it’s actually funny. Among my faves: The turkeritos; the pumpkin spice caramel apple empanadas; the chocolate churros with chile ancho and –of course– the butternut squash chalupa bites.

Fortunately for ALL of us, Taco Bell’s annual Friendsgiving meal was only available last week and it was only for VIP’s at the company’s headquarters.

Phew!

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New England Patriots Cheerleaders Go to Mexico; Explore Aztec Ruins in Tiny Shorts, Mingle with the Locals

It’s pretty safe to say that this blogger couldn’t care less about the NFL and/or what the Patriots, the Raiders or the Whatevers are up to. However, when the action of the so-called American football makes its way south of the border, things get a bit more interesting.

Take the following promo posted this weekend by the New England Patriots as they gear to face the Oakland Raiders this Sunday in Mexico City.

WATCH as a couple of cute porristas tour Teotihuacán and move about the ancient Aztec ruins wearing tiny shorts, as an inexplicable polka music plays in the background.

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This London Establishment Sells Bad Mexican Food –and Awful Spanish Grammar

This doesn’t make sense, you know?

The owners of this fine establishment in London would be well advised to take a quick Spanish-language course or –at the very least– brush up on their masculine and feminine nouns.

But I guess they’re busy concocting “food” that they hope will pass as “Mexican” without anybody noticing. Alas, my European, non-Hispanic, non-Mexican correspondent noticed…

At this point, I’m not sure if I’m cringing over their grammar or their “food.”

Hat tip: London Taco Correspondent

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Starbucks Wants you to ‘Celbrate’ Something in Spanish

I don’t mean to ruin their bilingual, toasted Christmas-y spirit, but the folks over at this Starbucks in Chicago would be well advised to spend some time on their Spanish-language copy –or just stick to English if they cannot find one Spanish speaker in a city that is 30 percent Hispanic.

Hat tip: Marco López

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Paris Hilton Goes to Mexico; Stops at Taquería, Drinks Sprite

I’m not sure she touched her food and/or drank her Sprite, but she looks pretty happy to be down there, surrounded by some other gringos and plenty of salsas.

Photo: Quién

 

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