Ted Cruz Wants ‘El Chapo’ to Pay for Trump’s Border Wall with his Many, Many Chapo Monies

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

The big news this week coming from the always brilliant Republicans is The Chapo Act, a proposal by — who else? — Cuban American dimwit Ted Cruz to have Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán to pay for a border wall.

But why? Well, because you don’t know this but El Chapo has many, many monies; more specifically, $14 billion in what look like beautifully crafted bills featuring his bald mugshot.

Here’s the original tweet sent out earlier this week by Cruz himself, just so you can see how hard it would be to make this sh*t up!

As I asked yesterday, shouldn’t a Chapo Act be an initiative to build tunnels and NOT walls?

But I get it. This is the Trump Administration, so nothing makes any sense anymore and we’re just going to have to go with it.

Take it away Golum!

Posted in Cuban-Americans in Miami, El Trumpo, Guacala, Immigration, Latin America, Mexico, Politics, Racism, Stupid propositions, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

This Steakhouse Will Celebrate Cinco de Mayo with a $100 Margarita, Because Why the Hell not?

Behold, the $100 margarita

Every single year, for as long as I can remember, American corporations do their best to step up their Cinco de Mayo game by launching one ridiculous thing after the other one. Every. Single. Time.

This year, the contenders for this blog’s Stupidest Cinco de Mayo Marketing Effort Award include Fleming’s Prime Steakhouse, a California eatery that will celebrate the nonsensical, American-made “Mexican holiday” with a $100 margarita.

Sí, señor. One hundred dolaritos for a pinche margarita, which features “premium liquor, including Tequila Herradura Selección Suprema and Grand Marnier Centenaire.”

But wait. How does a mix of Herradura and Grand Marnier justify such a high price? I’m glad you asked!

According to an unnecessarily long press release, the $100 margarita “is served in Baccarat’s uniquely designed Diamant Highball, and guests will be invited to take home the glass in Baccarat’s iconic red box.”

OKAY, then, I guess it all makes sense now.

Kill me now.

Posted in Awkard homages, California, Cinco de Mayo, Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Hey, Reuters: This Time it’s Actually Columbia, Not Colombia

Via: Reuters with h/t by Moses Frenck

Posted in ItsColombiaNotColumbia | Leave a comment

This is Why Mexicans Can Never be on Time …

When a Mexican asks you to meet at 17:00, it means you should meet at 5 PM. But not always; sometimes 17:00 also means 7 PM, because Mexico’s perception of time is a thing of beauty.

Now you know.

Posted in Education, Latin America, Mexico, Why I Love Mexico | Leave a comment

Want to Brush up on your Spanish? CamSoda’s Hot Girls and Live Webcams Are here to Help

Working in tech has its perks, including getting outrageous pitches in your Inbox that will make you go WHAT?!

Enter, Camsoda, a new entertainment/webcam platform that prides itself of being “the first-ever adult language-learning service that combines multilingual cam models and cutting edge translation technology to make learning a new language fun and sensual.”

I am going to spare you the graphic details, but if you’re so inclined in taking up a super sensual language, say Spanish, you can head over here.

Oh, and by the way: What if we, the ladies, want to learn a language too? Where are the hot machos?

WARNING: NSFW

Posted in Awkard homages, Language, Marketing & Advertising, Pop culture, Stupid propositions, Technology, You Tube | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

The TriceraTACO Will Keep your Sad-Looking ‘Taco’ in Place

Hard-shell tacos, not dinosaurs, should be extinct.

Move over, plastic taco-truck. Here comes the TriceraTACO, a machine-washable, plastic dinosaur that will hold your hard-shell disgusting tacos for only $13! Please note that given its shape and size, this thing will only hold those things Americans insist on calling a “taco” and will never be suited for a decent al pastor…

The TriceraTACO is now on sale on — where else? — Amazon.com, home of the Deluxe Mexican Yoga Mat and  the Mexico Will Pay for the Wall jumpsuit.

¡Que viva el nonsense y el marketing!

Hat tip: Verónica Calderón

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Marketing & Advertising, Stupid propositions, Tacos | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Sushi Tacos Are the Latest Food Craze, Because some People Want to Watch the World Burn

What the hell is this?

Not content with ruining everything with the taco-topped pizza, the Quesalupa and the Biscuit Taco, Americans are at it again.

Meet the SUSHI-TACO, the latest food craze that will soon take over your Instagram account.

According to my very reliable sources (i.e. the Internet,) sushi tacos first started popping up on Instagram thanks to Tail and Fin, a restaurant in — where else? — Las Vegas, which is serving up “white rice topped with fish and vegetables and nestled inside a circular seaweed shell.”

But. Wait. A. Second.

Guess what, you dimwits? A “white rice topped with fish and vegetables and nestled inside a circular seaweed shell” is not a taco, it’s just sushi, so stop it already!

Via: Metro.com.uk

 

Posted in Burritos, crime, Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment