El Chapo Is Learning English, and I Have a Few Tips for Him

As you probably know by now, Mexico’s most notorious Bad Hombre, Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán, is finally serving time on this side of the border, more specifically in a New York City prison that has been described as Brooklyn’s Abu Ghraib.

But if you were the least worried about him, you should know that he’s not only doing well, but, according to Univision, he has even taken up English lessons.

I’m not even sure why anybody living in New York City needs to learn English (last time I checked, everyone around me was Mexican and everything was in damn Spanish!) Besides, I bet his captors/teachers are not precisely Shakespeare scholars, so if my paisano is really serious about this thing, there are a few methods that might help, including the lotería one or this other one by Unforgettable Languages.

However, if everything fails, this blogger would be happy to jump on the subway and personally bring him some additional reading material, starting — perhaps – with my favorite one. 👇🏽

You never know when you’re going to need the extra help, right?

Posted in crime, Language, Latin America, Mexico, Politics, Pop culture | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

No, Twitter, I Don’t Think the ‘Enchilada Bake’ Is a Good Idea

I cannot unsee this thing!

Someone really wants me to shut down my Twitter account.

For reasons I have yet to understand, my “tailor-made,” “just-for-me” sponsored posts on Twitter have become an endless stream of disgusting “Mexican” concoctions. The latest comes courtesy of SmartMade, a company that prides itself on selling “delicious and nutritional frozen meals inspired by the quality ingredients and smart cooking techniques you use at home.”

I don’t know about you, but there is nothing smart in the so-called Bake Enchilada, a “meal” made of a “soft corn tortilla topped with black beans, roasted corn, red peppers and tomatoes lightly tossed in an enchilada sauce and topped with Monterey jack cheese.”

Oh, and don’t get me started on the Mexican style pulled pork

So, there’s that, Twitter, not only I will not be clicking on that thing. I think an apology might be in order.

Posted in Awkard homages, Burritos, Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising, Stupid propositions, Tacos | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

USA vs. Mexico: Who Is Sending their ‘Best’ elsewhere?

Spring breakers chant ‘Build the Wall’ in Mexico

So much for the Mexican “journalist” who stole Tom Brady’s jersey, got caught and embarrassed an entire nation (this blogger included.)

I would like to turn our attention to this group of young Americans who went to Cancún, got drunk and yelled Build-The-Wall!, Build the Wall! repeatedly… while in — well — Mexico.*

OK, I get your rage, but before you go and vow to kill them all, I’d like for all of us to take a moment and realize that both — Mexico and the U.S. — have our share of morons, starting with the ones leading our respective nations, so really, can anyone blame us for being so obtuse?

I get the rage about the spring breakers, really, but before you go all crazy about them, go read this; then remember the 43 of Ayotzinapa; the blatant violations of human rights in Mexico and the dozens of filthy rich politicians who have vanished in thin air…. Then take a deep breath and maybe you’ll understand. We are all fucked, no matter which side of the border we live in.

Shame on us, really. All of us.

*OK, this happened in Cancún, which is arguably not Mexico anymore, but still…  

Via: SFGate.com

Posted in 2016 presidential campaign, Awkard homages, El Trumpo, Latin America, Marketing & Advertising, Mexico, Racism, Stupid propositions, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

‘Beauty and the Beast’ Mariachi Version, Because Why Not?

La bella y la bestia con trenzas y trompetas

It was bound to happen.

A mariachi version remake of the famous ballroom scene in Beauty and the Beast quickly became a viral hit, because apparently there is nothing Hispanics love more than seeing their favorite mainstream characters recreated á la mexicana.

The video was first posted by Mitu:

Via: CNET en Español

Posted in Awkard homages, Beauty Queens, Latin America, Marketing & Advertising, Mexico, Movies, Music, Pop culture, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Dude Rides the Subway Wearing a Chapo Shirt, Because El Chapo Is the Shit

… and don’t get me started on that baseball cap

Do note that his t-shirt reads something like “From rags to riches” en español, of course…

As spotted by an anonymous source of this blogger at the Chicago subway (Red Line).

Posted in Awkard homages, Fashion, Mexico, Pop culture, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

St. Patrick’s Day: The Other Binge Drinking Mexican Holiday

st_patricks_mexico_2

Go ahead; wear green and go out get drunk or whatever it is you do today. But don’t forget Saint Patrick’s Day is a celebration of the Batallón de San Patricio, which according to Wikipedia my extensive readings of history books, was a unit of hundreds of immigrants and expats who fought as part of the Mexican Army against the United States.

Of course for Americans of the generation that fought the Mexican-American War, the San Patricios were considered traitors, while for Mexicans of that generation (and pretty much to this day) the San Patricios were heroes.

Now you know.

Now go get some green tequila and Irish tacos.

Posted in Awkard homages, Cinco de Mayo, Education, Immigration, Latin America, Literature, Mexico, Politics | Tagged | 1 Comment

This Guy Wanted to Build a Wall in his Restaurant Because Hispanics Don’t Tip 😂

“Give MI a break,” says Wayte.

Poor Steve Wayte.

The owner of a weirdly named sushi restaurant in California is under fire after making a joke that some of my people (i.e. Fast & Furious Hispanics) DID. NOT. FIND. FUNNY.

The joke? Upon realizing that Hispanics tend to not leave tips in his restaurant, Wayte wrote the following on his Facebook page:

As expected, the Fury of Twitter descended on the poor guy, who had to apologize like 100 times, first on social media and then on national television, saying he did not mean any harm.

But none of this mattered, of course, because last time I checked, a local politician named Henry Perea was still pretty pissed and calling for a boycott of — are you ready? — Roll One For Mi.

Come on, people. Give Steve a break! Today for MI, tomorrow for USTEDES.

Via: Fresno Bee

Posted in Burritos, California, Food | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment