I guess your answer would be ‘No way, José’ but my very well-informed gossipy sources tell me this is the woman Henry Pinault is dating these days.

Not only she looks filthy rich (and fond of horses) but it looks like —unlike Hayek’s– her boobs might be real (though not spectacular, nor worthy of a job at Univision.)

“Para’o” (standing up) is how this Puerto Rican man, 24-year-old Angel Pantoja Medina, spent his own wake, which -mind you- lasted three days.

Dressed in a Yankees baseball cap and sunglasses, Pantoja was mourned by relatives while propped upright in his mother’s living room, reported the local press.

Pantoja’s mom and brother say they were only complying with the dead man’s last wish: to be upright for his own wake… and, presumably, dressed up like a reggaetonero.

Only in Puerto Rico.

The Los Angeles Times is reporting that two ‘Big Foot’ hunters found in Georgia the body of a creature they say is the “great hairy one.”

Let me tell you something about ‘Big Foot.” He is not in Georgia, but hiding somewhere in the Guatemalan jungle. And these pictures -taken by yours truly- are evidence of this.

Is that a Big Foot or what?

Here is a piece of advice: If you are growing old, suffer from depression, emotional distress and overall life has treated you badly… do not go to Puebla.

That is what a group of animal rights activists are trying to say in the saga surrounding Jenny, the “aging and emotionally troubled pachyderm,”  who is scheduled to travel to Mexico’s pathetic mini-version of the African jungle, the Africam Safari.

The debate goes on, but those worried about Jenny’s Mexican fate, should be worried sick about a potentially more dangerous, unforeseen event: Should Jenny were to follow the steps of thousands of Puebla residents, we will soon have her roaming the streets of New York City.

Now, that’s a jungle you want her to avoid.