Quick! Grab your Maracas and Go Get Yourself a pair of Cinco de Mayo Air Jordans!

Cinco de Mayo Air Jordans, because why the hell not?

Sneaker retailer Sneaker Bar Detroit can’t wait for Cinco de Mayo, so it’s now peddling a bunch of very colorful Air Jordans… so colorful, they will perfectly match your maracas.

Because nothing says Mexicou better than Air Jordans and … colorful sneakers.

¡Ándale, ándale, arriba, arriba!

Via: Sneaker Bar Detroit on Twitter

Marketing Ideas to Spice Up your ‘Cinco de Mayo’ 🌶

No Mexican friends? No problem! Get yourself a few Insta-Mexicans!

Cinco de Mayo is definitely my favorite faux Mexican holiday in the U.S. And not because it’s an excuse to drink all day long and scream ¡Viva México! while thinking it’s our celebration of Independence, but because it brings out the stupidest best marketing gimmicks to sell everything, from spicy tattoos and sneakers for the three-legged, to senseless drink mixes, “ethnic” food and even cardboard Mexicans!

Below, you’ll find a few of my favorite marketing efforts around this mostly-gringo holiday.

Enjoy … and ¡Que viva México, cabrones!

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State Dinner Menu for Macrons to Feature Tomato Jam, a Sort of Fancy ‘Capsu’

First Lady Melania Trump has planned a state dinner for French president Emmanuel Macron –and wife– that incorporates the “celebrated gastronomy of New Orleans – a city founded by the French and still famous for its French Quarter.”

According to multiple sources, said menu will consist of a rack of spring lamb and Carolina gold rice jambalaya, and it will include a side of something called “Tomato Jam,” which this blogger can only imagine is some sort of Ketchup or –as Mexicans would say, Capsu or Catsup or even Capsut.

And it is in that spirit of tonight’s big binational event that I’d like to invite you, dear reader, to reminisce the  Capsu/Capsut/Ketchup, which is almost as classy as the Columbia vs. Colombia one.

Capsu

Or is it Capsut?

catsup2

Yes. There is a ‘Cinco de Mayo Carne Asada’ Gadget

CarneAsadaGadget

You guys must think I just make stuff up just to keep updating this wonderful blog and all. But no. Thanks to the ever creative minds of marketing professionals, there is always something new under the Latino-Hispanic muy caliente sun.

Señoras y señores: I give you the BBQ Dragon, the portable, hands-free, rechargeable gadget which –according to a presumably serious press release– will help you make “the best carne asada in town.” Why? Because Cinco de Mayo is approaching!

I’m not sure this thing was even conceived with carne asada or Cinco de mayo in mind, but who the hell cares? We are fast approaching this blogger’s favorite faux-Mexican holiday.

¡Ajúa!

Party City Wants you to Wear a Taco Headband and Shake your Maracas, Because Cinco de Mayo!

Cinco de Mayo is just around the corner, and the folks over at Party City are, like, super excited!

So for this year’s Authentic Mexican FIESTA™, the retailer is peddling a $4.99 Taco Headband; a $7.99 Taco Hat, and plenty of maracas, because the whiter you are, the harder you should work to look like a real Mexican.

¡Ajúa!

Hat tip: @EnriqueLimon

*LOL

NOT SURE YOU WANT A TACO HEADBAND? CHECK OUT OTHER SUPER AWESOME CINCO DE MAYO IDEAS BELOW:

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AMLO’s ‘Sharp Critique’ of Trump –and Trump’s Wall, now Available in English

Mexican presidential candidate Andrés Manuel López Obrador is running on an odd platform, enlisting politicians from all walks of life (and political positions) to his campaign. And while his politics and rhetoric have pretty much divided the country, there is one thing he has in common with millions of Mexicans: His contempt for President Trump –and his proposed border wall.

And now, in hopes of making his message get across the border, his 2017 book has been translated into English.

I have not read this thing –nor I’m sure if I’ll ever do it, but according to an enthusiastic morning press pitch: ¡Oye, Trump! Saying Yes to a New Start for Mexico, Saying No to a Wall (OR Books) presents a “no-holds-barred condemnation of corruption in his own country and a sharp critique of what he regards as the baleful influence of the United States in Mexican politics, especially under the Trump presidency.”

U.S. Prosecutors Have Spicy Evidence Against El Chapo

As the trial against El Chapo gets closer, prosecutors this week filed a 90-page memo detailing a 1992 shootout in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, that resulted in six people dead. The memo, says The New York Times, was designed “to list the crimes that Mr. Guzmán was believed to have committed, but were not specifically laid out in his indictment.”

The list includes all kinds of horrors: Murders, acts of torture, kidnappings, prison breaks and… “an attempt to smuggle seven tons of cocaine in cans of jalapeños.”

Via: The failing New York Times

Leguizamo Embraces Latino Tokenism –Because Latin Things

Latino Tokenism Is a Thing

This blogger is not only tired of having worked 15 hours straight today. She’s also tired of weird Latin things like “Latino Tokenism” a term recently coined by comedian/entrepreneur Latin person John Leguizamo to explain why quotas (i.e. tokenism) are OK as long as Latinos get a piece of the trillion-dollar market we’re supposed to represent.

“I will take tokenism, quotas, just put one of us in there, he says. We are 20% of the population with $2 trillion in buying power […] That is the U.S. budget for this year. We have buying power. There is green to have, put us there, and you will see it,” Leguizamo said during a recent panel in Miami.

OK more tomorrow, I need to sleep –go dream of non Latin things.

 

Tijuana to Emulate the Iconic Hollywood Sign, because Mexico

Why go to Hollywood when you can just go to TJ?

Having solved its most pressing issues, the city of Tijuana is working on emulating the iconic Hollywood sign in Los Angeles.

According to the Mexican press, the project was conceived –and is being financed– by the local Chamber of Commerce. It will be erected on the slopes of Colorado hill in the southeastern part of Tijuana at a cost of about $230,000.

The TIJUANA sign will be 15 meters high by 80 meters long and its letters would be illuminated with solar-powered lamps whose colors would randomly change.

Because, Mexico…

Via: Mexico News Daily

Peña Nieto Rebukes Trump in Video Message –Hilarity Ensues

Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, on Thursday, blasted Donald Trump in a video message, vowing that “nothing and no one stands above the dignity of Mexico” and adding basically that: “If your recent statements are the result of frustration due to domestic policy issues, to your laws or to your Congress, it is to them that you should turn to, not to Mexicans.”

Here’s Peña Nieto’s original tweet:

The response was pretty unusual, really, and Mexicans took to Twitter to express solidarity with their president but also some hilarious takes on the whole thing.

Here are only some of my favorite ones; I’ll be updating this as I see more (I gotta work, you know?)

You’re so cute when you’re mad

When EPN Defends Mexicans

 

Trump’s Reaction?

Lo que el viento a Juárez, Basically

Time to Fight for your Leader

In a Nutshell

And the Best Tweet of them all …