Cinco de Mayo is definitely my favorite faux Mexican holiday in the U.S. And not because it’s an excuse to drink all day long and scream ¡Viva México! while thinking it’s our celebration of Independence, but because it brings out the stupidest best marketing gimmicks to sell everything, from spicy tattoos and sneakers for the three-legged, to senseless drink mixes, “ethnic” food and even cardboard Mexicans!
Below, you’ll find a few of my favorite marketing efforts around this mostly-gringo holiday.
First Lady Melania Trump has planned a state dinner for French president Emmanuel Macron –and wife– that incorporates the “celebrated gastronomy of New Orleans – a city founded by the French and still famous for its French Quarter.”
According to multiple sources, said menu will consist of a rack of spring lamb and Carolina gold rice jambalaya, and it will include a side of something called “Tomato Jam,” which this blogger can only imagine is some sort of Ketchup or –as Mexicans would say, Capsu or Catsup or even Capsut.
You guys must think I just make stuff up just to keep updating this wonderful blog and all. But no. Thanks to the ever creative minds of marketing professionals, there is always something new under the Latino-Hispanic muy caliente sun.
Señoras y señores: I give you the BBQ Dragon, the portable, hands-free, rechargeable gadget which –according to a presumably serious press release– will help you make “the best carne asada in town.” Why? Because Cinco de Mayo is approaching!
I’m not sure this thing was even conceived with carne asada or Cinco de mayo in mind, but who the hell cares? We are fast approaching this blogger’s favorite faux-Mexican holiday.
So for this year’s Authentic Mexican FIESTA™, the retailer is peddling a $4.99 Taco Headband; a $7.99 Taco Hat, and plenty of maracas, because the whiter you are, the harder you should work to look like a real Mexican.
Mexican presidential candidate Andrés Manuel López Obrador is running on an odd platform, enlisting politicians from all walks of life (and political positions) to his campaign. And while his politics and rhetoric have pretty much divided the country, there is one thing he has in common with millions of Mexicans: His contempt for President Trump –and his proposed border wall.
And now, in hopes of making his message get across the border, his 2017 book has been translated into English.
I have not read this thing –nor I’m sure if I’ll ever do it, but according to an enthusiastic morning press pitch: ¡Oye, Trump! Saying Yes to a New Start for Mexico, Saying No to a Wall(OR Books) presents a “no-holds-barred condemnation of corruption in his own country and a sharp critique of what he regards as the baleful influence of the United States in Mexican politics, especially under the Trump presidency.”
As the trial against El Chapo gets closer, prosecutors this week filed a 90-page memo detailing a 1992 shootout in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, that resulted in six people dead. The memo, says The New York Times, was designed “to list the crimes that Mr. Guzmán was believed to have committed, but were not specifically laid out in his indictment.”
The list includes all kinds of horrors: Murders, acts of torture, kidnappings, prison breaks and… “an attempt to smuggle seven tons of cocaine in cans of jalapeños.”
This blogger is not only tired of having worked 15 hours straight today. She’s also tired of weird Latin things like “Latino Tokenism” a term recently coined by comedian/entrepreneur Latin person John Leguizamo to explain why quotas (i.e. tokenism) are OK as long as Latinos get a piece of the trillion-dollar market we’re supposed to represent.
“I will take tokenism, quotas, just put one of us in there, he says. We are 20% of the population with $2 trillion in buying power […] That is the U.S. budget for this year. We have buying power. There is green to have, put us there, and you will see it,” Leguizamo said during a recent panel in Miami.
OK more tomorrow, I need to sleep –go dream of non Latin things.
La Doña (aka María Félix) would have turned 104 today, so Google is dedicating today’s doodle to the one and only, the gorgeous Mexican we all wanted to emulate when we grew up. Well that didn’t really happen, but all the same:
Having solved its most pressing issues, the city of Tijuana is working on emulating the iconic Hollywood sign in Los Angeles.
According to the Mexican press, the project was conceived –and is being financed– by the local Chamber of Commerce. It will be erected on the slopes of Colorado hill in the southeastern part of Tijuana at a cost of about $230,000.
The TIJUANA sign will be 15 meters high by 80 meters long and its letters would be illuminated with solar-powered lamps whose colors would randomly change.
Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, on Thursday, blasted Donald Trump in a video message, vowing that “nothing and no one stands above the dignity of Mexico” and adding basically that: “If your recent statements are the result of frustration due to domestic policy issues, to your laws or to your Congress, it is to them that you should turn to, not to Mexicans.”
Here’s Peña Nieto’s original tweet:
Something that brings together and unites absolutely all Mexicans is our certainty that nothing and no one stands above the dignity of Mexico. pic.twitter.com/4eZIIUjM9a