Venezuelan Chef Helps Taco Bell Pitch Make-Believe Mexican Food to Clueless Americans

In an effort to try to convince people that it can actually make non-bad food, Taco Bell has launched a healthy, Hispanic-looking menu, incomprehensibly appropriately dubbed Cantina Bell, featuring a series of ‘innovative’ meals including a cantina bowl (salad with chicken) a cantina burrito (a burrito) and chips & slides (totopos, guacamole, etc.)

Yeah, yeah… But before you go all judgemental and crappy like this blogger, let me tell you these recipes are the creation of a truly real Hispanic person of non-Mexican origin: Chef Lorena García, a proud Venezuelan whose cooking credentials hail from France, Italy, Japan, Korea, Thailand and China.

Watch Chef Lorena tell you why she totally clicked with Taco Bell and how Taco Bell represents her sazón and other entertaining facts like that. [All this in a wonderful Spanish accent that will make Sofía and Salma Hayek salad-green with envy.]

So… Romney Got a Fake Tan to Look Like These People?

Unless you live under a tanning bed rock, you’ve surely read by now all about the alleged fake tan sported by Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney at this week’s Meet the Candidate forum on Univision. [Or, as Wonkette put it so appropriately: How Romney donned a brown face “to appear on forum with Mexicans.”

The potential of a ‘spraytanned Romney’ was so hilarious, that many failed to see the irony behind the effort. I think it doesn’t matter if Mr. Romney’s tan was fake or actually real as Univision/ABC later reported. The funniest thing to this blogger is how -with or without a tan- Mr. Romney would have been the darkest of the three people onstage.

Mr. Romney’s advisers would be well advised to watch more Spanish-language TV to see what television Latinos actually look like.

[Watching a telenovela like this one wouldn’t hurt either.]

Turns Out Barack Obama Drives Us, Latinas, Crazy!

I know most mainstream media outlets would frown upon the very idea of posting the below video to illustrate this story. But… this blogger couldn’t help making a connection between Wilfrido Vargas’ famous anthem and the recent figures showing Latino women political preferences…

According to a poll published today by impreMedia and Latino Decisions

“Latina voters plan to vote for President Obama by a margin of 74% to 21% for Romney – a 53 point gap.  Among Latino men, 61% plan to vote for Obama and 32% for Romney…” 

Ay, Dios mío, pass me the abanico, pronto!

Hat tip: Vanessa Morales 

Gringos, Latinos, They All Failed Remezcla’s ‘Mexi-Quizz’

So Remezcla took to the streets of New York to quiz Latinos –and non-Latinos– on Mexican culture.

This is what they had to say.

This blogger was not the least surprised nor shocked at the sheer ignorance of the interviewees in the above video. Some previous research before had threw some light on perceptions of Americans on yet another Mexican holiday: Cinco de Mayoouuu!

How to Make ‘Albondígas’ con Chopote [i.e. Chipotle]

I do not know where I had been hiding, but I cannot believe I didn’t know anything about the Hispanic Food Network. Until now.

Watch Mike Gonzalez here tell you how “albondígas con chopote” [sic] are very close to our Mexican hearts and other culturally-relevant wonders.

The Mexican music in the background is PRICELESS. I hope you people would appreciate it as much as I did.

Yummy!

Univision Launches ‘Psychic Franchise,’ Because Hispanics are into Psychics and Stuff Like that

While you were busy watching the Republican and Democratic conventions, Hispanic media powerhouse, Univision Communications, launched Antahkarana, an “esoteric, mystical franchise” featuring none other than Victor Florencio (aka “El niño prodigio.)

The reason is plain and simple:

“Hispanics have demonstrated a deep fascination for spirituality and astrology,” said Rick Alessandri, a senior vp at Univision Communications, and very likely a non-Hispanic, who couldn’t care less about psychic advice.

Antahkarana includes a daily TV segment featuring astrological and psychic advice; a digital presence on univision.com/antahkarana and a toll calling hotline for fans to connect with psychic advisors.

Watch “El niño prodigio” in action and be ready for your mystical immersion.

Eastwood, Brewer, Rubio Provide Tons of Entertainment to this Blog’s ‘Political Coverage’

You gotta give it to Republicans for giving us, bloggers, (and Jon Stewart) some truly memorable moments during an otherwise dull (and very white) event.

This blogger’s top 3 Tampa highlights:

Marco Rubio asks for more government; less freedom… by mistake, that is.

Jan Brewer (aka The Wicked Witch of the Southwest) endorses Barack Obama… by mistake, that is.

Then, Clint Eastwood comes onstage and makes a fool of himself –and the Republican ticket– apparently NOT by mistake, by talking to an empty chair.

Oh, the fun!