Mexican Reporter Goes to Flood Area, Asks Locals to be Carried to Avoid Water. Hilarity Ensues

sopitasA reporter in Mexico went to cover massive floods happening in Puebla, and was caught by another reporter being carried by the locals, obviously in an effort to, well, not get wet.

The original tweet (below) from reporter José Daniel Hernández simply read: “How embarrassing! @LydiaCumming, a reporter with @TVAztecaPuebla asks for help in order not to get wet.”

What followed, naturally, was a flood of tweets that have this blogger dying of laughter. Below some of my favorites. (Apologies in advance if I do not credit each one of these properly, but Twitter can be a free-for-all stealing thing.)

#SharkAttack

LadyReporteraShare

AT THE THREE AMIGOS SUMMIT

@LosSimpsonMX
@LosSimpsonMX

JUST LIKE RONALDO

@Gooz25
@Gooz25

L RING

@BorrachosVIP
@BorrachosVIP

VAMPIPE, OF COURSE

 

Going to Vegas? Look out for a Trio of Latina Swindlers

'We don't know what to do here; it's our first time.' NOT
‘We don’t know what to do here; it’s our first time.’ NOT

It took me a while to realize this was not an ad touting the latest Latina-escort service, but a regular daytime TV commercial to entice you to Visit Las Vegas.

Watch as a trio of apparently-innocent señoritas set out to trick a bunch of gringos into believing that they just arrived and it’s their first time in Vegas.

Psssst: It’s NOT!

Hat tip: Marco Lopez

360 Camera Is so Great, It Will Let you Spot Mariachis Sneaking through the U.S. Border

360fly Inc. has decided to launch a “provocative” ad campaign to pitch a camera that promises to give you a broader perspective of life.

To that end the company crafted what it’s supposed to be a satire of Donald Trump and his anti-Mexican discourse, speaking about his HUGE — yuge! — wall only to be interrupted by a bunch of Mexicans (mariachis, gardeners, maids and churro vendors) sneaking through the wall –aided by Clinton and Sanders.

Per a company press release:

The campaign strategically leverages the national and global interest in the 2016 presidential campaign, with a hysterical satire of Donald Trump’s “Border Wall” campaign initiative, complete with a Trump impersonator, Hillary and Bernie look-a-likes, Mexican Mariachi bands, housemaids, gardeners and even churro cart vendors. That’s right…churro cart vendors.

Yeah, churro cart vendors.

The company claims the spot is “so controversial” it has been refused by a bunch of networks, mostly because stations said they wanted to “remain politically neutral” and “didn’t want to offend certain ethnic groups.”

As a member of one of the “ethnic groups” portrayed in this thing (watch below), I don’t find the commercial particularly offensive. However, I do find it a bit dull and that, my friends, offends me more deeply.

WATCH and decide for yourself:

Via: CNET en Español

The Upcoming New York City Floating Taco and Tequila Festival Proves the Apocalypse Is Near

Please help me leave NYC by July 9th
Please help me leave NYC by July 9th

Got $28 and a penchant for eating tacos and drinking tequila while on a cruise ship?

If so, head to New York City on July 9 for the T&T, a “Floating Food Festival” where you’ll be treated with, well, tacos, tequila and — very likely — a violent sea sickness.

VIP admission is $45 but it might be worth it because you’ll get a free “MARGARTIA,” [SIC] which I assume is something better than a MARGARITA.

¡Ay, Dios mío!

Via: Time Out

Everything is Better in Spanish, Including ‘Orange Is the New Black’ [Feat. Soraya Montenegro]

judges

The rumors were true — and the wait is over.

Soraya Montenegro, the evil stepmother of Mexican telenovela María la del Barrio, has finally ended up where she belongs: In prison.

More specifically, Litchfield Penitentiary.

¡Sí, señor! Montenegro (played many years ago by the great Itatí Cantoral) is the star of a new Netflix campaign to promote the fourth season of Orange Is the New Black in Latin America.

Naranja
Spanish is the New Black

So far so good, but Netflix would be well advised to extend a big GRACIAS to Cristian Vazquez, an 18-year-old from Danbury, Connecticut, who is credited with catapulting Soraya to viral fame by posting screenshots and videos of her on his Tumblr page.

bett

“I first saw a picture with the same caption of another actress, Victoria Ruffo, and then thought it would be funny to do the same,” Vazquez told the Daily Dot. “After posting the first photo of Soraya Crying in Spanish it became very popular because of a video of her acting in the telenovela Maria La Del Barrio, in which she, the villain, tries to kill three people. The majority of the people on Tumblr have never seen a telenovela and are not familiar with the exaggerated acting style, and so they found it hilarious.”

Yes, Soraya is awesome and Netflix’ promo video is hilarious. Watch it below but — more importantly — don’t forget to thank Cristian Vazquez.

 

A Taste of Mexico for Less than £2

MexicanaSlices

Aren’t the British something?

Not content with giving us the Hey Ho to Mexico gluten-free tortillas, the Brits are now peddling Mexicana Slices… slices of cheddar with spicy bell and jalapeño chilli peppers. For a mere £11.50 per kilogram, these babies promise the Original HOTNESS of the HOT taste of Mexico. But how hot is “hot” exactly?

Per UK-based Mexicana cheese:

Mexicana brings together traditional British farmhouse cheddar cheese, with the colour, vivacity and mouth-watering flavours of Mexican cooking. Not for the faint hearted, Mexicana has an abundance of bell peppers and hot chilli spices. Dare you… it bites back!

Do I dare?… Mexicana Cheese wants to know.

Mmmmm Nope.

Hat tip: London Spicy Correspondent: Kent German 

Crowdfunded Nuni Toaster Wants you to Believe Tortillas Need to be Toasted [They Don’t]

The World's First Tortilla Toaster...
Behold, the world’s first tortilla toaster

If you thought Flatev was a stupid tortilla-related, crowdfunded project, wait until you see Nuni, a “revolutionary” Indiegogo project that promises to give us “the world’s first tortilla toaster,” which is basically a toaster-looking-gadget to, ahem, “toast” tortillas.

I hate to rain on Nuni Toaster’s parade, but last time I checked tortillas needed not be toasted, because, you know? that doesn’t make ANY sense!

Seriously, guys, I appreciate the enthusiasm — especially the VIVA LA TORTILLA tagline — but do me a big favor and go toast something else?

Thank you for your cooperation.

Hat tip: Tortilla Tech Brooklyn Correspondent

Chile Defeats Mexico 7-0 at Levi’s Stadium; Hilarity Ensues

Send help, please: Javier Aguirre
Send help, please: Javier Aguirre

Mexico suffered its most dramatic defeat Saturday night against Chile, losing 7-0 at the Copa América quarter finals in Levi’s Stadium in California.

While many paisanos are still licking their wounds, Mexican Twitter saved the day by producing some of the best memes we’ve seen so far in Copa América. These are happening “as we speak” so be sure to check back as they can only get better.

Oh, and be sure to follow CNET en Español for more memes en español.

Ready? Set. GO!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

After Orlando, Should Mexicans Keep Chanting ‘Ehhhhhh, Puto!’ at Soccer Matches?

Is this the end of the 'Puto' chant?
Is this the end of the ‘Puto’ chant?

Don’t go on reading if you think I have the answer to the above question, but it’s one that is being asked more and more these days, especially after a deranged individual stormed a gay bar in Orlando, Florida, killing dozens of people and earning the “honor” of having committed this country’s deadliest mass shooting to date.

Unless you live under a rock or — what’s more likely — don’t follow fútbol mexicano, Mexican soccer fans for years have popularized a simple chant to address goalies. It goes like this: “Ehhhhhhhh, puto!”. 

Puto, in a nutshell, can be translated as “fag” and it’s used because in Spanish, to score a goal is to “put [the ball] in” as in meterla (PUT IT IN), get it? Put “it” in.

Heck, even kids do it!

Per a 2014 story on Vice.com:

[The phrase] was first used by rowdy fans during soccer games in Guadalajara in 2004 —including an Olympics qualifying match against the US, Mexico’s bitter soccer rival, and from there it spread throughout Mexico’s professional soccer league.

It is true that the phrase came across as particularly insensitive Monday night, during a Copa America match between Mexico and Venezuela.

As a writer from The Guardian pointed out this week, the chant’s effect “was all the more jarring after a minute’s silence had been held in the stadium for the victims of the [Orlando] tragedy.”

Upon reading The Guardian story, I texted a [Mexican] friend, in Mexico, and told him: “I feel torn about the puto chant. Personally, I think it’s not the same to chant puto and then go on your way without hurting a fly, than buying a AR-15 automatic rifle and plenty of ammunition, and then go kill 50 people….without uttering the word PUTO even once.”

My friend feels the same way as I do, but perhaps that’s also because, like me, he is also Mexico born and has never lived in PC-USA.

We were both pretty sure that Omar Mateen did not yell “Ehhhhh, PUTOS” when he was doing his bloody business inside the Pulse Nightclub Saturday night. But perhaps the idea of “a bunch of faggots having a good time” was ringing in his head throughout the whole thing in some shape or form. Who the heck cares if he uttered any word or not?

As a Mexican, born in Mexico and accustomed to macho culture & language, but yet raised in a household that was always tolerant to people who were “different” from us, I’ve always deemed the “Ehhhhh, puto” chant as totally harmless.

Now, after 15 years plus living in this country, I’m not so sure.

Help me understand, please. Comments, as usual, are more than welcome, below.

Mexican Rats Smoke Cigarettes, and are Dying From it

The infamous dead rat is back on Mexico's cigarettes packaging.
The infamous dead rat is back on Mexico’s cigarettes packaging.

Let other countries use graphic images of low-weight babies, cancerous lungs or people exhaling smoke through a tracheotomy opening to show the perils of smokers. The Mexican government has decided to go a slightly different way.

Mexico’s health authorities decided to bring back the image of a dead rat covering the top half of cigarette packages. The reason? It is the one image that — according to a survey among Mexican smokers — will be more likely to help them quit.

Yeah, right.

Mexico’s health authorities are so naive they fail to see smokers were just screwing with their heads.

Harlem Shoe Store Proudly Peddling Pablo Escobar Gear, Because ‘Narcos’

Stay classy, New York
Stay classy, New York

This shoe and clothing store has been around for ages in the corner of Broadway and 150th street, but only yesterday I noticed a new addition to their offer: a bright red baseball cap featuring none other than Pablo Escobar.

I have no idea if that thing is for sale or it’s just sitting there as a sort of good-luck charm. Either way, I think it’s awesome and Netflix should be super proud.

Photo: Laura Martínez, Harlem 2016

‘Latinas for Trump’ Want to Trade their President for Trump –or Something

I think they meant to say 'para' not 'por,' unless.....
I think you wanted to say ‘para’ not ‘por’

Yes, there is a group called Latinas for Trump and, yes, they like to look red hot and seriously think America can be made great again. OK, that’s great, but, as the group readies an important gathering in –where else? — South Florida, they will be well-advised to proofread their Spanish-language messages.

Last time I checked, the Spanish translation of Trump for President was “Trump para presidente,” and not “por.” But perhaps as my smart pants Twitter buddy Colin Docherty says, they might just want to trade their president for Trump. For some reason.

Who knows?

Photos: via @foxnewslatino
Photos: via @foxnewslatino

 

Dear Adidas: It’s Colombia, Not Columbia… ¡Carajo!

ColumbiaAdidas

Adidas has jumped on the Columbia wagon, because, really, why not? According to numerous tweets from Colombia, not Columbia, the sports giant did the ultimate insult to the Colombian, not Columbian.

There is even a Columbia Home Kit thing (whatever that means) on their own Website.

homekit

This blogger is seriously busy with much more important things (namely, the #ItsEmpanadasNotEmpañadas thing) but just need to take a break to remind everyone: #ItsColombiaNotColumbia

chingao!