After all, what are we going to do now that the Cuban government has decided to ruin the Ché-Chávez fragrance fun?
Month: September 2014
Who Wants to Smell Like Hugo Chávez and Ché Guevara?
From the #NotTheOnion archives of this venerable blog, come the new “Ernesto” and “Hugo” fragrances, created in honor of -who else?- Ernesto “Ché” Guevara, and the late Hugo Chávez himself.
“Ernesto” is being described as having a touch of “wood,” while “Hugo” is “softer, with a touch of subtle, tropical scents.”
This is not a joke, you people. It’s the creation of a serious Cuban enterprise, Labiofam, whose founder spoke personally to my friend Andrea Rodríguez, of AP in Havana.
Now you know.
‘Cristela’ is a Latin-themed TV Show I Might Actually Watch
Mexican-American comedienne Cristela Alonzo might not be as stunning as Sofía Vergara -and chances are the EMMY Academy will never put her on a rotating pedestal.
However, judging from the following trailer -and description- of the upcoming ABC comedy Cristela, she has the potential to help restore my faith in Latino-themed programming for the so-called English-language crowd.
Per a press release:
Cristela is in her 6th year of law school (having juggled family obligations and worked multiple jobs to pay her way); she lands an internship at a prestigious Dallas law firm. She lives with her sister, her brother-in-law, their two young kids, and her old-school mom. Felix’s cousin and co-worker, Alberto flirts shamelessly with Cristela, but the only feeling she has for him is a shared passion for the Dallas Cowboys.
Well that sounds interesting. Let’s see if the show actually delivers and makes us all want more -or suffer the fate of so many other “Latino TV projects.”
It premieres Oct. 10, so I will -of course- be watching and keep you guys posted.
JLo’s ‘Booty’ Is Proof that Latinas are Proud of their Buttocks
Pay no attention to all the hoopla about stereotyping Latinas as sexy, hot and curvy individuals. In fact, and judging from Booty, the latest artistic creation of our own Jennifer Lopez, we are not only proud of our behinds, but spend quite a bit of time, money and effort showcasing them to the whole wide world. Just WATCH.
Oh, and while you’re at it, you might want to see proof that eating chips and guacamole for breakfast does wonders for your figure.
So… ¡a mover la colita y a desayunar guacamole!
Environmentalists; They’re Just Like us. They Litter
Estrella TV Premieres Show Featuring Rich, Desperate Latinas
Latina, Rica, Famosa is Estrella TV’s answer to the Real Housewives franchise, except this new reality show features five “beautiful, successful Latinas that invite you all the way to their living room -and bedroom- to see what they are really made of.”
I must confess I have not seen this thing, but judging from the promo -below- and other Spanish-language TV spinoffs out there, including this and this, I think I will pass.
There’s already too much desperation in my own, real, Latin life…
Gov. Rick Scott -and Wife- Wish us a Happy Hispandering Month
Watch Governor Rick Scott and wife wishing us a happy Hispanic Heritage Month, which according to this, means “living the American Dream in the Sunshine State.”
Thanks, but no thanks. I’d rather stay in the Empire State and drown my sorrows in mezcal, hoping this way to forget this monthlong
hat tip: @LatinoRebels
This Restroom Accommodates Both, Regular Women and Ethnic-Looking Mexican Women
How Can Anyone Not Like Mexicans? We Do ‘Coc Nuts Coold’
‘Let’s Have a Beer Brand Sponsor our Air Traffic Control Tower’
…Said some Mexican politician.
Taco Bell’s Biscuit Taco Proves There’s no Hope in Humanity
And just when I thought the height of ridiculousness had been reached with the Quesarito and the Frito-stuffed Chicken Enchilada Melt, comes the Biscuit Taco, a breakfast concept being tested in -where else?- California.
A company briefing describes the Biscuit Taco as a “warm, flaky, golden brown biscuit that happens to be shaped in the form of a taco,” and will very likely clog your arteries. (That last bit is mine, of course, but I think the company might want to reconsider its briefing or at least add some kind of health disclaimer.)
But the Biscuit Taco is not alone in its ridiculousness, and is only the latest addition to the I Don’t Wanna Taco ‘Bout it Wall of Shame, which you are free to click -of course- at your own risk.
Sam Walton Did Business with my Relatives in Latin America
Hat tip: @NorbertoBogard
Coffee Mate’s ‘Latin-Inspired Products’ Include Hot, Steamy ‘Abuelita’ -Of Course
Not to be outdone by the likes of Mattel and Oscar Mayer with their Latin-inspired dolls and Hispanic-targeted cold cuts, Nestlé’s Cofee Mate is launching a series of “Latin-inspired products” and promoting them on Twitter with a super inventive Latin handle: #LatinTouch.
Here’s one of Coffee Mate’s pitches on Twitter.
A new flavor so rich, you’ll feel amor at first sip. Find @Abuelita Mexican Chocolate http://t.co/oOt1QGbqTT pic.twitter.com/42glmFty8X
— Coffee-mate (@Coffee_mate) agosto 28, 2014
Coffee Mate’s Latin Touch thing includes Nestlé’s popular Mexican Chocolate Abuelita, featuring the great Sara García, who is having, posthumously, a second life as a “hot, steamy” Latina.
Because, aren’t we all?
Hat tip: @latinorebels
Mattel to Launch Mariachi Barbie, Because Why-the-Hell-Not?
I don’t know how many ridiculous Barbie posts I’ve written for this old blog (they are here, here and here). But who is counting?
In the latest marketing move, and apparently unmoved by the likely wave of criticisms, Mattel says it will launch a Mariachi Barbie edition to celebrate the upcoming Mexican Independence holiday.
I seriously think this is great, you know, perhaps we can finally match her up with her perfect companion: This guy.