While Mexicans are getting creative, and putting surgical masks to a good use, gringos too are jumping in the Swine Flu phenomenon. Going to Mexico but don’t want to come back with the usual, boring souvenirs? Now you can surprise your family members with the latest Mexican recuerdo.
This beauty, though, is NOT made in China, nor in Mexico but proudly Made in the USA.
Forget about Latin hot-dogs and Texican burgers, the new wave in Mexican cuisine is the non-existent fare, including some of the appetizing dishes the Hayek-Pinault newlyweds offered their guests at their Venice wedding weekend extravaganza.
The delicious Mexican-French fusion included a Jardin des fleurs mexicains (which I think means “garden of Mexican flowers”) and chocolate caliente en nogada (which I just cannot even begin to try to translate… chocolate en nogada? ew!)
At least the menu designed by José Andrés had plenty of fois gras and veal, sparing us from the edible animal of the moment.
Ah, Mexicans… what a creative, resourceful, bunch. In these days of swine flu panic, some have found a much more practical use of surgical masks: use them to rob restaurants and not get caught.
According to Reforma newspaper, a group of tapabocas-wearing gang robbed a local Sanborn’s in Tlalpan this weekend and although the restaurant has a sophisticated video surveillance system, they couldn’t be identified because of the surgical masks.
Amid the worse swine flu scare ever, Mexican taco makers have readily embraced face masks, which is nice, I think but… Wouldn’t it be better to just NOT chop swines and then put then on a tortilla? I mean, just asking…
If you are the best Mexican shoe-shiner specializing in boot cleaning and you live in Spain, the best way to promote yourself is, well, simply by stating the truth: that not only you are a Mexican shoe-shiner but that you are the Best of Mexico (working at the Gran Vía, that is.)
Photo: Tania Carreño
Now that we know what it is that Latinas really want, we thought it was time to expand the market research to their male counterparts.
So, what do Latinos want?
They want Latinas!
Preferably scantily-clad ones, shaking up their colita on prime-time television.
(You don’t even have to pay for cable. These beauties are conveniently available every Saturday evening by tuning to Univision’s Sábado Gigante) with toda la familia.
Oh, yes, shake it up mami!
Once in a lifetime, market research comes out to shed light on what we [U.S. Latinas] want, but would rather keep in the dark.
Take the most recent (and reportedly groundbreaking) research conducted by OTX, which pretty much gives away a secret we’ve kept to ourselves, like, for decades! According to the research, in this week’s Advertising Age:
A difference between Latinas and non-Hispanic women: Latinas are more likely (75%) than non-Latinas (63%) to say they’d rather have sex with their husbands than a glass of good wine.
And that, ladies, is because we know crap about wine (had they asked us about aguardiente….). Now seriously, the research goes deep down into our inner selves and secret behaviors, including the fact that:
Latina respondents were slightly more likely than the non-Hispanic respondents to take pictures with a digital camera (45% compared to 42%) and download music to an iPod (28% compared to 22%)
Why is that, I wonder?
Are digital photos and iPod downloads more interesting after we perform non-alcoholic sex with our husbands? Can someone please illuminate me here?
Ah, marketers… always finding interesting -and amusing- ways to engage us, Latinos, into whatever it is that we’re supposed to be engaged in.
In its latest effort to have already obese Hispanics eat other than tortillas and frijoles, Oscar Mayer this week launched Sabor de Mamá, a recipe contest aimed at having Latinos share their favorite traditional recipes featuring Oscar Mayer hot dogs. In their words (not mine):
“It’s no secret that Hispanics have embraced the American hot dog. Whether you are in a plaza in a small town in Mexico or taking a stroll in the streets of Colombia, the hot dog is now widely enjoyed.”
The lucky winner will receive $5,000 and the opportunity to join Univision’s Maggie Jiménez at an event to showcase his/her winning recipe. Because, you know, it’s always a great mystery what you can do with a bun and a salchicha.
It seems that mainstream media and marketing gurus are getting their kicks making fun of poor, defenseless Mexicans.
On the heels of the Burger King Texican Whopper fiasco, comes yet another public “offense” against the Mexican people; this time from our friends enemies at South Park. The episode shows an embarrassed Felipe Calderón grilled on what his government has done with all foreign aid –presumably granted by extraterrestrials.
[Little do they know Mexico’s government does wonders with that money, including bringing beaches and ice skating to the masses. Fighting crime and drug lords? Well, that can wait.]
p.s. I wonder how long it will take for some offended Mexican official with nothing to do to urge South Park to take down the episode…anyone?
You can badmouth the gringos as much as you want, but they are soooooo nice to us, Mexicans.
Take Barack Obama, who this afternoon arrived in Mexico City to personally give the Calderón government US$66 million!
Alas, the greenbacks might not end up in my family’s hands any time soon. They are, reportedly, to be used to purchase a few BlackHawk helicopters.
Oh, well, beggars can’t be choosers, right?
1 Beast (the bullet proof limo, NOT who you’re thinking of…)
5.4 meters. Length of The Beast
12:00 P.M. (CST) Time when Mexico’s air travel space will shut down for one and a half hours
13:00 P.M. (CST) Estimated Time of Arrival at Mexico City’s International Airport
3,5000 Police agents charged with the U.S. President’s security during his visit
24 Estimated number of hours in Mexico
5 Number of activities planned
6 Number of floors to be occupied by Obama and his staff at Polanco’s Hotel El Presidente
15:35. Estimated time for a joint press conference with the other beast Felipe Calderón
3 meals (presumably not Whoppers)
It didn’t take long for Mexican cartoonists to take on the whole Burger King brouhaha.
In the image, Obama is seeing as the tall, lanky gringo who poses next to a chubby -and tiny- Felipe Calderón. These two, however, are not “Brought together by destiny,” as the Texican Whopper, but “Brought together by nonsense.”
ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Image: Calderón. (Reforma)
Hat tip: Carlos Gutiérrez
Undeterred by American TV anchors reporting on Armageddon south of the border -and despite what Anderson Cooper wants you to believe— U.S. manufacturers are flocking to Mexico in search of some extra dinerito. (Even when things are so messed up that BusinessWeek is using rifles to spell out the name of the country!)
According to the April 20th issue of BusinessWeek big business is standing its ground for one simple reason:
“Manufacturers have good reason to hang tough. The 41% drop in the peso against the dollar since August has made Mexico an even cheaper place to manufacture: Factory workers in Juárez can be hired for $1.50 an hour.”
$1.50 an hour!?? Good lord! That’s not even enough to get you a spicy Whopper across the border. Crap!
What happens when you merge a tall, good-looking Texan man with a stocky, chubby guy wrapped in the Mexican flag and wearing a wrestling mask?
Answer: you get a Burger King Texican Whopper, yet another “delicious” creation from the hamburger chain.
The print ad hails from Spain, and it pitches the new Texican Whopper, an impossible fusion of cajun sauce, cheddar cheese, meat taco and beans (!) The tagline, Unidos por el destino, means “Brought together by destiny.”
My sources tell me that Mexico’s ambassador to Spain, Jorge Zermeño, has already asked Burger King to take down the ad and apologize –apparently because it offends our already decimated flag, and not our cuisine.
But wait! there’s more: the Texican is also a hit in England and has its own TV spot:
And just when you thought the so-called ethnic press was dead, a group of former Hoy employees in New York City are getting ready to launch NY Al Día, a Monday to Friday daily expected to circulate 20,000 copies starting April 20.
According to general manager Juan Carlos Sánchez (in the photo), NY Al Día will cost 0,40 cents and will be sold 1,800 points of sale in New York City, Long Island and New Jersey.
This blogger, of course, promptly attended the April 8 press conference at the Paramount Hotel. Alas, there were no free drinks for the crowd, but plenty of eye-candy for the hombres. Let’s just hope these Latin beauties will help make Latinos read again.
Photo: Javier Castaño