And just when I thought tacos hadn’t been insulted enough in this country, today I learned about a new, disturbing trend: Gender Reveal Tacos, featuring plasticky, rosca-like niños dios and what looks like pink and … green tortillas –for some reason.
As someone who has long detested the entire premise of gender-reveal events, I’m really not quite sure what people are supposed to do with the above. Are the proud parents-to-be supposed to eat the plastic babies? Wrap them in a pink –or green– tortilla depending on the creaatures’ so-called gender?
Also: Does throwing a big serrano in the mix is a hint to let us know it’s going to be a … boy? (please go Google “chile” as a nickname for penis, etc.)
So many questions!
Perhaps, as one of my Twitter followers put it, the economy is so sucky right now, that El niño has “picked up a new gig doing gender reveals since the rosca wasn’t cutting it.”
The National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum has unveiled the official George Santos bobblehead, featuring a smiling Santos, complete with a blue sweater-suit combo and –what else?– a Pinnocchio-like nose.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock (or don’t work in breaking news like yours truly) you’ll know by now that Mr. Santos, a Brazilian native, has been caught in his own web of lies and deceits: From claiming his mom was in the Twin Towers on 9-11 to allegedly bilking a veteran out of money raised to pay for his sick dog’s surgery.
This figurine is now available online and can be yours for “only” $30 and it’s not just going to sit there doing nothing. It will actually play clips of some of Santos’ biggest lies in his own words at the touch of a button.
The best part? The National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum is pledging to donate $5 from every sale to “selected dog-focused GoFundMe Campaigns.”
Don’t lie, you know you want it!
Photo: National Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum
Three Kings Day – better known as Día de Reyes in Spanish-speaking countries – is celebrated on January 6 to honor the Three Wise Men (Los tres reyes magos) who went through great lenghts to visit baby Jesus and bring tons of presents to celebrate his birth.
In Mexico –and a few other countries– the festivity includes the cutting of a special, oval-shaped cake known as the rosca de reyes, which comes filled with tiny plastic dolls symbolizing the hiding of the infant Jesus from King Herod’s troops. But because we live in 2023 and Star Wars has become part of our daily lives, some very creative Mexicans are making Baby Yodas for you to stuff your 2021 rosca with instead.
Move over, Reyes Magos, here come los Magos Reyes!
Alguien está vendiendo Babies Yoda para Roscas de Reyes y no les voy a decir quién soy… 😅
First things first: I do not watch Newsmax, and quite frankly I wouldn’t even know how to since I don’t have cable TV.
However, I couldn’t help but flagging a clip I found online about Rob Finnerty, a poor white television host who can no longer find an American Girl doll that looks like his daughter, because the popular doll brand has been … wokeified.
“My daughter is just a cute little 6 year-old white girl – we couldn’t find anybody that looked like my daughter. It was — the whole place, it was, like, wokeified”
Funny how the existence of a few black and brown dolls in a world where white dolls rule still triggers this kind of panic in white, right-wing folks.
Get yourself together, Roberto, we’re not that scary!
Newsmax host says he couldn’t find an American Girl doll that looked like his daughter: “My daughter is just a cute little 6 year-old white girl – we couldn’t find anybody that looked like my daughter. It was — the whole place, it was, like, wokeified” pic.twitter.com/JeWcZ7vZ2c
This blogger will be taking some time off to embark on a food and drink rampage spiritual retreat to plan for the year ahead and thank my paisanos for all the hard work and for enduring stuff like this, this and this on a daily basis.
Also, I wanted you to know I’m officially kicking off the Guajolote-Reyes marathon, which runs from Thursday Nov. 24 and all the güey through January , 2023.
A Mexican fútbol fan (most likely a chilango) traveled all the way to Qatar and brought with him a huge speaker blasting my country’s famed “¡Se compran.. colchones .. tambores .. refrigeradores … estufas … lavadoras … microondas … o algo de fierro viejo que vendan!” a recording that is now used by thousands of peddlers of scrap metal all over Mexico.
I have no idea who this dude is but he rules. (Oh and the vid is NOT mine, I sort of “borrowed” it from the Internet.)
OK, y’all. For years, Twitter was my favorite (and pretty much only) social media platform, but then Elon came around and broke it (i.e. fucked it up).
Not content with ruining everyting, tonight, on Saturday, Nov. 19, 2022 el pendejo decided to reinstate the other pendejo, so, even if blogging takes longer and costs this blogger more money that it should, I plan to take all my taco –and -non-taco – funny rants here again.
I apologize to my almost 37,000 Twitter followers for the lack of activity over there. I promise I will try to keep the fun here as much as possible. And, yes, while there are no popular hashtags on WordPress, let me get you started on some good ones:
#PincheMusk #PincheTrump #FuckTwitter #RIPTwitter
p.s. If you see this post pop up on your Twitter feed, it is because I have an automated feature set up for this so you can (hopefully) come visit, and not because I’m back on this hell hole again.
If you thought Trump announcing a presidential bid for 2024 was the worst piece of news this year, think again: Del Taco – which dares call itself a “Mexican restaurant” – said it has added “Mexican-Style tortas” to their menu.
The company said (apparently with a straight face and via an unecessarily long press release) that their tortas are so epic that they will be known as Epic Tortas. Their excitement is such, that the chain temporarily changed its name to “Del Torta,” which –naturally– makes no sense whatsover.
This blogger is just gonna say one thing: Make Tortas Great Again!*
*and if you’re not up to the task, please just leave tortas alone.