Latinos don’t always brush their teeth, but when they do, they brush them with a mojito mint-flavored toothpaste.
Because, really, what else were we going to use?
Month: August 2013
Are You ‘Hombre’ Enough? Las Deportadas Want to Know
In its ongoing quest to position itself as the beer for real hombres, Tecate today launched the Are you hombre enough? challenge, basically asking guys -Latinos and non-Latinos- to prove their manhood.
The challenge, led by a pair of sportscasters known as Las Deportadas (a tongue-in-cheek moniker to show they are Hispanics and sports specialists) basically aims at testing guys’ manhood by asking them “super revealing” questions. For example:
Fans are encouraged to quickly answer a series of questions designed to test their hombre-hood, including “Your girlfriend asks you to hold her purse. What should you do?”
Because as everyone knows, carrying your girlfriend’s purse will make you look like a sissy, something your macho compadres will never approve of.
What I don’t quite get from the whole promotion is how expressing your love for Tecate Light will make you hombre enough. All the real hombres I know (and those I’m attracted to) will most likely gulp down liters of mezcal, tequila or aguardiente while actively refusing to carry your purse and urging you to take your top off.
Watch Las Deportadas do their thing as they go to “Dallas” (no pun intended.)
New Hispanic Venture Launches in Lorem Ipsum-Language
Hispanic online media has grown to be so sophisticated, that we have web properties targeting English-dominant, Spanish-dominant and even Spanglish-dominant Latinos.
But a new contender, www.LatinaMadre.com, wants to disrupt the whole industry by launching a page in Lorem Ipsum, which is great, really, considering it’s going to be about Latina moms, and Latina daughters and Latina moms and daughters, which all sound like blah, blah, blah to me.
(Or rather, like lorem ipsum, lorem ipsum, lorem ipsum to me.)
Mexican Ponchos Pay Homage to ‘Fútbol’ and Football
Only a true Mexican* understands the passion of some Mexicans for el futbol americano, known by gringos simply as football. The passion is such, you wear your team proudly, even if it comes in the form of a typical jorongo.
*Yours truly
Photo: Laura Martínez, La Ciudadela, México City
Mexico Extends Appropriate Welcome to the Dalai Lama
Mexico today began distributing tickets for the Oct. 13, 14 and 15 visit of the Dalai Lama, who will be coming to this country for the 4th time.
And what more appropriate welcome mat than a picture of His Holiness accompanied by a group of Mariachis?
[I might have to extend my visit a little to witness such a Tibetan-Tapatío fusion]
¡Ajúa!
Univision’s Fernando Fiore is Now Peddling Power Tools
In the latest sign of the hotness of the U.S. Latino market, Univision sportscaster Fernando Fiore has been hired by Makita to promote the one and only “Mexican National Team 7-1/4″ Circular Saw Blade.”
Call me crazy, but I’m not sure what an Argentina-born sportscaster and a Mexican National Soccer Team have to do with a 7-1/4″ Circular Saw Blade.
But, hey, that’s me!
Click here to watch Fiore in full action pitching the 7-1/4″ Circular Saw Blade
‘El Tiempo Latino:’ What Jeff Bezos Was Really After…
As usual, the so-called “mainstream media” missed the boat on this one.
For all the hoopla around Jeff Bezos buying the Washington Post, most media writers failed to point out that the Post is the proud publisher of El Tiempo Latino, a weekly Spanish-language publication that prints awesome cartoons like this one and targets the many, many Latinos that are taking over D.C.
So… if you thought Bezos paid $250 million for The Washington Post, think again. What he was really after was the ever-exploding, trillion-dollar-opportunity that only Hispanic print media can deliver.
After all, there’s no point in denying his Cuban background, is there?
Dunkin Donuts’ Cuban Sandwich Luckily Only Available in Miami
And just when I needed one more reason to not visit Miami, Dunkin Donuts has introduced the all-new Cuban sandwich, featuring roasted pork loin, Swiss cheese and ham on an oven-toasted thing it dares to call a “French roll.”
But if you think this beauty does not look Cuban enough, consider this: The meat is topped with a “creamy Cuban spread of Dijon mustard and chipped dill pickle,” because, as we all know, nothing screams Cuba like Dijon mustard and chipped dill pickle.
Fortunately for this blogger, the Cuban sandwich is for sale exclusively in restaurants located in the Miami-Fort Lauderdale area.
¡Ay, qué pena!
Photo: @RISHayyy
This New Cable Network is Making me Thirsty!
I don’t know you, but every time I see the Fusion logo, I feel like running to my nearest bodega and grab a Fanta de tamarindo.
But I digress…
Fusion, the ABC News/Univision joint cable net, has confirmed it will launch on October 28 to champion a “smart, diverse and inclusive America.” And, I couldn’t be happier: As I said before: I can’t wait to watch English-language programming in an accent I can actually understand.
¡Ajúa!
Here’s How We Plan to Take Over the U.S. [Part II]
I said this in 2008 and I’ll say it again: Hispanics are a resourceful bunch and have crafted a brilliant master plan to take over the U.S: It’s quite simple, come to think about it: Reproduce quickly and in large quantities.
In the latest installment of the Here’s How We Plan to Take Over the U.S. series, a Latino couple in Nebraska (Yes, I repeat, Nebraska) last week became the proud parents of quintuplets. Mara, Cristóbal, Ximena, Arleth and Roselyn -what else?- García came to this world in July as a five-fold bundle of joy.
¡Welcome pues, paisanos!
Weiner to Univision: ‘This is Between New York and My Wife’
UPDATE: The millennials over at Fusion (the Hispennials) are challenging this post, telling me that what Weiner said was: “Entre YO y mi esposa” and not “Entre New York y mi esposa.” On the other hand, my friend thinks he actually said: “Entre mi schlong y mi esposa.” SO PLEASE TAKE THE POLL. Help miblogestublog make some sense out of this very important matter.
So Anthony Weiner went to Despierta América this morning to set the record straight (and in Spanish, mind you) about the Anthony Weiner Penis-Gate (or as Univision’s Satcha Pretto elegantly put it: Su comportamiento erótico en la Internet.
Weiner was clearly annoyed by Pretto’s insistence in talking about his private parts (i.e. his Tweeter-famous penis.) But very quickly -and skillfully, may I add- the Mayoral candidate managed to get himself out of the entire mess by assuring her (and millions of Univision viewers) that the whole Anthony Weiner Penisgate was nothing but “an error between New York and my wife.” (JUMP TO MINUTE 1:16)
Way to get out of one big mess, Carlos Danger!
Click on the photo to watch the entire interview or click here:
Oh and don’t forget to take the poll:
MI BLOG ES TU BLOG 