TBN Launches Hispanic TV Network Called -What Else?- Salsa

TBN Salsa is 'geared toward next generation Hispanics who may not be fluent in Spanish but apparently love salsa.

Religious broadcaster Trinity Broadcasting Network on June will launch an English-language channel targeting what it called “next-generation” Latinos, which apparently are religious, prefer to speak English and — of course — love to dance and eat salsa.

Per a company press release:

TBN Salsa is ‘geared toward next generation Hispanics who may not be fluent in Spanish. […] It will initially debut in 38 major broadcast markets across America, including Los Angeles, New York City, Miami, Atlanta, Dallas, Seattle, and Phoenix.

And that’s just awesome because everybody knows that Hispanics, regardless their religion and language preference, simply love salsa: This one… and this one too!

The Hispanic CVS Pharmacy is Like a Regular CVS but Hispanic

YmasCVS

Corporate America is indefatigable.

Despite high-profile, unsuccessful efforts to give my people (i.e. The Hispanics) dedicated “Hispanic stores” with “Hispanic stuff” presumably preferred by “Hispanic people,” big corporations continue to make strides — and waste invest their money —  in giving my people their very own Hispanic tiendas.

Take CVS Pharmacy, which says it has converted 11 existing locations and added a brand-new store to launch its “Hispanic-centric store concept.”

And what exactly makes this CVS a Hispanic CVS? Well, I’m glad you asked. According to this WLRN story: “Cafecito, bilingual staff, money transfer services, and an expanded discount fragrance counter,” because unlike regular, non-Hiapanic people, we love to drink coffee and send money abroad while smelling real nice. 

Per a CVS press release, the the new stores will carry “more than 1,500 trusted Hispanic products including favorite brands such as Café La Llave, Agustin Reyes, Fabuloso, Suavitel, Creolina and Formula 88.”

Wait. WHAT? What about Hispanic cheese? Hispanic lettuceMexican Coke? None of that? Buuuu… 😦

I think I’d stick to my neighborhood’s real Latin Pharmacy, that looks just like this:

Farmacia Latina [Harlem]
Farmacia Latina [Harlem]

No, Google, Kermit the Frog is not ‘Kermit la Rana’ in Spanish

OK, Google. Let's try this again
OK, Google. Let’s try this again

Kermit the Frog, the friendly frog that became so famous in TV shows such as The Muppets and Sesame Street is actually called “René” in Mexico and “Gustavo” in Spain. But I guess that’s just too much for an automated voice-recognition, translation program.

During a brief demonstration today of its voice search app, Google’s Senior Vicepresident Sundar Pachai, reached for his smartphone to ask Google — using his voice — on Google’s search app — “How do you say Kermit the Frog in Spanish?.

Google’s response “Kermit la Rana.”

Wait. What?!

As anybody who was not born in the United States, Kermit came to be known as René in Mexico and pretty much all Latin America, and Gustavo in Spain. And as far as this blogger can tell you, nobody in the Spanish-speaking world knows him (or her?) as Kermit.

Yet, I’ve found video footage of the poor thing (René/Hermit/Gustavo) trying to explain his identity problem.

WATCH

via: CNET en Español

This is What I Call ‘Product Dis-Placement’: Mr. Chevy Chase Does Not Seem to Like My Book

Ok, Ok, I might not be a fan of NBC’s Community (in fact, I never watched it before today.) But in a recent episode the character portrayed by Mr. Chevy Chase was featured falling asleep, bored out of his mind after apparently having read this blogger’s opera prima.

I mean… I am no Marcel Proust, but come on, Mr. Chase!… Why the mala onda? Couldn’t NBC pick on someone else? Or, as my mom used to say, ¡Póngase con uno de su tamaño!

[Anyhow, gracias, pinche Chevy Chase, for the anti-endorsement.] 

Aspiring Mexican Mayor Uses Batmobile to Campaign Around

¡Santas elecciones, Batman!
¡Santas elecciones, Batman!

Awwww, Mexico…

The land of the collective smooch, the coold cocnuts and the 1-million-dollar birthday parties is also the World’s Headquarters of innovative political initiatives.

Take Valentín González, aspiring Mayor of Netzahualcóyotl, who decided it was an awesome idea to drive around the impoverished municipality in his own Batmobile. Why? Simple, because it is the only way to fight crime and stuff so he can get elected and all that.

Per the campaign itself:

“The campaign will be accompanied by our emblem, which we decided to be a Batmobile, simply because in order to reach the Mayor’s Office we’ll have to fight criminals who for a long time have disturbed the peace of our citizens.”

¡Santas elecciones, Valentín!

BatiValentin2

Via: SDPNoticias

Upon ‘Successful’ Run in Ohio, Taco Bell’s Quesalupa Goes National

What the hell is this?
Thanks a lot, Toledo!

As part of its ongoing effort to desecrate Mexican food, Taco Bell says it will roll out systemwide its ridiculously named Quesalupa — melted pepper Jack cheese stuffed into a flaky, crisp shell “that serves as a vehicle for seasoned beef, lettuce, cheddar, reduced-fat sour cream and tomatoes.”

Until recently, “the thing” was limited to Toledo, Ohio, which was totally OK with me, since I don’t have any immediate plans, nor reasons or desire to ever go to Toledo, Ohio.

However, and according to press reports, after a test in 36 Toledo restaurants, the Quesalupa was pronounced “one of the most successful tests in Taco Bell history,” so its going national.

So, thanks a lot, Toledo! You have just ruined my Taco Tuesday.

Via: Restaurante News

Here’s a Fiesta Arch to go with your Mexican ‘Scene-Setters’

FiestaArchRemember the 5-feet-tall Mexican scene-setters? Well, now you can make your Mexican fiesta even more Mexican (as if that was even possible) by setting up a Personalized Mexican Fiesta Arch.

This beauty is not cheap, ¡no, señor! It will cost you a good $109.99 online. But don’t despair! The Personalized Fiesta Arch “has the look of a brick wall along with maracas, sombreros, chili peppers and guitar accents.” Plus. It ships in only one day, so why wait for Cinco de Mayo?

In case you’re still not sold on this stupid awesome deal, check this out: The Fiesta Arch “can be personalized with two lines of your own custom text.”

So hurry! I’ve already placed my order with a two line legend that reads:

¡Órale, gringo! Me querer mucho tequila! ¡Arriba, arriba, ándale, ándale! 

What do Jorge Ramos and John Oliver Have in Common? U.S. Machines Don’t Understand their Accent

Screen Shot 2015-05-14 at 12.03.41 PMDuring a brief trip to New York for Upfronts Week, Univision host Jorge Ramos took some time to interview John Oliver.

They touched on many serious — and not so serious — topics, including Oliver’s memorable interview with Edward Snowden, which led to the following exchange:

Jorge Ramos: Why do you think [Snowden] picked you, and not a respected journalist?

John Oliver: [LAUGHTER] I’m not a respected journalist, because I’m not a journalist, I’m a comedian!

Yet, my favorite part has to be when the pair set out to discuss the subject of electronic imperialism and how bloody frustrating it is when when automatic operators simply cannot understand us, the Mexicans and the British.

See? That’s why the only electronic exchanges I can take are those involving super smart, Spanish-speaking ones that are even willing to sing La Cucaracha.

(Watch the full clip below.)

Via: Fusion

Donald Trump Will Build Wall on U.S.-Mexico Border with all the Money Mexicans Took from Him -Or Something

ttrumpMexico

Donald Trump’s latest Mexico rant is too stupid funny to be ignored.

“Mexico will not be taking advantage of us. They will not be having open borders. And the greatest builder is me. And I would build the greatest all you have ever seen. The greatest. And just to finish, you know who’s going to pay for the wall? Mexico. With all the money that they have taken from us.”

Via: Daily Mail

Hispanic-Owned Restaurant to Host ‘White Appreciation Day’

Photo: @eantillon
Photo: @eantillon

Black History Month is February. Hispanic Heritage Month is Sept. 15 – Oct. 15. But what about whites? Not fair, right?

Well, Buttz BBQ, a Hispanic-owned joint in Milliken, Colorado, will be hosting White Appreciation Day on June 11, and to celebrate it plans to offer white customers a 10 percent discount on their food that day.

Why? Because all Americans should be celebrated – and… why do minorities have to have all the advantages?

Via: The Washington Times