At Last! A Barbie Doll I Can Relate to

After decades months of despair for not being able to see myself in those slim, cute Barbie dolls, I found one that actually looks like this blogger after indulging in too many “typically-Latino” breakfasts.

fatbarbie

The print ad is actually part of a broader campaign executed by Austin, Tx.-based LatinWorks for Active Life Movement, an organization that for some reason wants me to get up and move. The campaign includes other fatsy superheroes, including a not-so-cute chubby Superman.

Mexico Is so Awkward That Rich Kids Play Tennis on Top of a Mariachi

Lucas, the makers of some of my favorite Mexican treats, have tapped a pair of Mariachi-riding tennis players to pitch the awkwardness of Skwinkles, a sweet and sour candy that would probably ruin your liver -and teeth… whether you are rich (or weird) enough to play tennis or not.

N.del E. Please note that these mariachis are wearing the real thing… not at all like those for sale in Cataluña.

While These Dolls Vacation in Mexico, This Blogger is Off to an Undisclosed Location

I yet have to find a T-shirt that spells out where this blogger likes to go on vacation. In the meantime, I leave you with these other Latinas, who despite swine flu and The Huffington Post, still like to have fun down there.

Eva-Longoria-070309-300

Have a happy summer and don’t despair if I don’t update this blog that often. You have years of my useless insightful observations to go over in the meantime!

Forget Corn Flakes. Cargill Knows What We Really Want for Breakfast

e29

Only a few days ago, we learned that Hispanics were nuts for a touch of honey in our food, but now, Cargill has come forward to give the marketing world a lesson on what our real Latino palates are all about.

Per a June 30th press release, the company has launched a new line of pork products, which are “based on extensive consumer research to match and exceed the needs and expectations of multicultural customers such as Hispanics and African Americans.”

“The new Rumba pork products include ears, hocks, jowls, kidneys, neckbones, split front feet, stomach, tails, fatback skins, hearts and livers.”

Because, you know, there is nothing like a good pair of split front feet to begin our day!

Chávez Urges Venezuelans to Use Their ‘Vergatarios’ (And it’s NOT What you Think)

3292812676_59239bf0af

You might not know this (why would you?) but the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela prides itself -among many other things- on having manufactured one of the world’s cheapest cellular telephones, specifically designed to be available to the masses in a sort of no-caller-left-behind communications policy.

“The $14 phone is made using Chinese technology and featuring a camera, radio and MP3 player,” according to a Reuters story.

So far so good, but somebody still has to explain to this blogger why Mr. Hugo Chávez insisted in naming these cuties Vergatarios (a crude name for male genitalia). Judging for the picture, the “penis phone” looks quite small…

oh… I see. Never mind!