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Month: August 2016
Juan Gabriel is Dead and I Have Nothing Funny to Say
You probably don’t know this, but Juan Gabriel (né Alberto Aguilera Valadez) was one of my favorite Mexican composers/singers/showmen/human beings. My mom, who used to blast his music pretty much all the time, once told me something I will never forget:
“Remember: We have loved Juan Gabriel way before the fresas* discovered him.”
She was right, and once that happened we were not able to afford his concerts anymore.
Still, I was lucky enough to see him live a couple of times, and his 1990 Concierto de Bellas Artes went to become the soundtrack of most of my young adult life, including my late night escapades to Acapulco with my best friend; my first — and only — marriage and subsequent divorce and a car accident in Querétaro in 1998 in which I almost died and killed a few members of my family. (Luckily, we all survived, including several rusty JuanGa tapes.)
Seriously, man! This was way too early.
Go serenade Cuquita, pues!
*Fresas: Rich, Hipsters, Pirruris, etc.
National Beef Commercial Features Kid Looking Forward to Eating Bad Tacos
Remember the weirdly named Spanish-language campaign to make my people eat pork?
Well, now it’s time for beef to have its several seconds of “Latino fame” with a recent national TV spot for Beef: It’s What’s for Dinner, a very important organization whose noble mission is to make us crave beef, beef and more beef.
And, what better way to make people — Latino or not — crave beef than promoting a suspicious-looking beef “taco?”
Take it away, niño feliz!
Hat tip: @tropicarlitos
Reddit User Was Taking Pic of an Accident Involving a Latino Express Bus When the Real Latino Express Drove by
Via: Reddit
MillerCoors to Launch a Ridiculously-named Beverage Inspired by a non-existent Mexican Tradition
I have no idea what kind of Mexicans the people of MillerCoors hang out with, but apparently they are the inspiration behind Zumbida, an alcoholic drink with a make-believe Mexican name, which is supposed to be inspired by the “Mexican tradition of Aguas Frescas.”
Wait. Whaaaaat?
Per its very colorful package, Zumbida (LOL) is described as “Aguas Frescas con un toque de piquete,” which makes absolutely no sense, because in Mexico, when you say “con piquete” you don’t really need to say “con un toque de…” but I guess that’s too much for the people of MillerCoors and their imaginary Mexican friends.
Anyway, as I was saying, while “un toque de piquete” makes absolutely no sense, what really gets me here is the word Zumbida, which I guess they think is something like a zumbido, zumbada, zumba or zabe Dios qué … (God help them, please!)
As a company spokesperson told AdAge (apparently with a straight face):
“Zumbida is a traditional drink done in a distinctly American way — a fusion.”
So let me get this straight: Zumbida (LOL) is a based on a “Mexican traditional drink” done in a “distinctly American way,” which basically means it’s some sort of disgusting sugary drink spiked with a heavy dosage of marketing bullshit.”
¡Guácala!
George Takei Asks Latinos not to Vote for Trump… in Perfect Spanish, Mind You
I might be late to this, but I had no idea his Spanish was this good. Way better than many “Hispanics” I know on this side of the border.
Go George!
Mexikosher Opens in New York City, Because Why Not?
You guys! Mexikosher (aka The Real Mexican Kosher) has opened its doors in Manhattan’s Upper West Side, bringing local residents some strange “Mexican” delicacies, including hot wings, nachos and rice bowls.
According to the well-informed New York Times, MexiKosher is the creation of Mexican-born chef and co-owner Katsuji Tanabe, who follows kosher rules “without compromising on flavor.” This means, apparently, that he can concoct Kosher-challenged meals like birria, carnitas and beef brisket braised in duck fat. Heck, there’s even a “bacon cheeseburger” made with cured beef belly “bacon” and soy cheese.
I don’t know about you, but there are a lot of quotation marks on those “meals,” so I think I’ll pass. For now.
Photo: Laura Martínez, 2016
LOL: Clinton Super PAC Spends Thousands to Inform Hispanics that Trump Is Racist
Priorities USA has reportedly spent a lot of dinero in a couple of TV spots — in English and Spanish — that aim to paint a picture of Donald Trump as “racist, anti-Mexican and unacceptable to Hispanic voters.” No shit.
The spots (Our Country / Nuestro país) feature Careliz, a Latina identified as the mother of two sons who have served in the military, and who claims to be pretty much disgusted at what El Trumpo has to say about Mexicans.
I don’t know about you, but as a Latina who has been disgusted at Trump for a very long time, I think Priorities USA should spend its money more wisely. For example: How about using that cash to set up better taquerías nationwide?
Mexicans gotta eat, you know?
Oh, the commercial is also available in English, because Hispanics can actually speak two languages, you know?
Via: The Hill
Two Apparently Nice Ladies Want you to Cover Your Pet’s A-Hole with a Talking Donald Trump
Speaking of pussy assholes, a duo of advertising ladies are launching the Trump Hole Covers, some sort of weird device to cover your pet’s a-hole with a talking Donald Trump — because the world has definitely gone mad.
Behind this contraption (no pun intended) are Martha Ibarrondo and Evelyn Monroe Neill, two advertising ladies who have had it with with Donald Trump — pretty much like everyone else.
Per their very “intriguing” PR pitch:
“We’re amazed, disgusted, amused and inspired by the 2016 presidential election. We ask you to join in and share, share, share. Help us make #trumpholecover and #trumpcatasstrophy a phenom because really, if anyone ever deserved this place in history, it’s Donald Trump.”
I do not have a pet, but even if I did I’m not sure I would want to cover it’s a-hole with anything (much less with a talking Donald Trump). But apparently there’s something good in all this: According to Ibarrondo and Monroe Neill, your Trump hole cover purchase will support non-profit organizations that serve women and immigrants.
Not convinced yet? How about just doing it for the sarape -and sombrero-clad- pussy?
Upon Securing the Hispanic Vote with Taco Bowl Tweet, Trump Goes After the Fried Chicken Crowd
This blogger is too busy to blog right now, but you get my point.
