OK, France, Now You’re Just Being Ridiculous…

Move over, Taco Bell: French fast food chain Tacos King, is on its way to become this blogger’s worst make-believe-taco nightmare.

I came across this establishment in the heart of Downtown Lille, and while I didn’t have the heart to walk in and come face to face with the calamité, I was able to secure a photo of *these* things the French dare call “tacos.”

Mon Dieu!

voilà, ici la calamité

Photo: Laura Martínez, Lille, France.

Greetings from Paris, Home of the Mayonnaise au Chipotle

Awwww Paris…

There is nothing like spending some quality time in the City of Lights, with its beautiful architecture, ubiquitous cafés, gorgeous boulevards… and authentic taquerías.

Behold Chiquitin, the newest addition to Rue Henry Monnier (this blog’s temporary headquarters). The 10×10 meter changarrito is the take-away petit branch of Luz Verde, just across the street, and it features all sorts of salsas, including old time favorites like roja, verde and pico de gallo, but other more inventive like mayonnaise au chipotle, césar and –wait for it– salsa matcha.

I haven’t eaten here –yet– as I’m currently busy getting reacquainted with dry pork goods (saucisson sec, rosette de Lyon, etc.) and liters of wine, but I’ll get to it at some point and will be sure to report back.

Oh, did I mention the 16-euro ceviche and the 9-euro tacos al pastor?

Mon dieu!

Photos: Laura Martínez, 22 Rue Henry Monnier, December 2018.

Proud American Sets up GoFundMe Campaign to Finance Trump’s Wall… Because Why the Hell Not?

Holy chicharrones!

I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

Trump supporter Brian Kolfage has set up a GoFundMe page to raise funds for Trump’s border wall because “President Trump’s main campaign promise was to BUILD THE WALL. And as he’s followed through on just about every promise so far, this wall project needs to be completed still.”

At press time, Mr. Kolfage’s campaign had raised nearly $5 million (YES 5 millones de dolaritos) from over 78,000 (presumably very dumb) people.

Oh, America… What has happened to you?!

This Blog’s Christmas Cards are Ready! You’re Welcome

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Before you go all crazy on me, let me clarify one thing: I did not invent the above awesomeness –of course. I have been busy taking siestas, eating tacos (throwing tacos at people) and sipping tequila (I’m Mexican, remember?) to be working on such an elaborate work of art.

Thank God I have the entire World Wide Web working for me to serve you people better. I might not be blogging much to be hones, but if you really miss me, you know what to do: JUST Go here and have fun!

So, without further ado: ¡Feliz Navidad! ahead of time; to get this out of the güey, because right now it’s time for this.

Zzzzzzzzzzz

sleeping

This Prosecco Promises Pleasure [i.e. Sex] to Hispanic Drinkers

OK, so I’m sitting at this bar in Amsterdam, when I decided to order a Prosecco to go with my breakfast. [See? according to my very own drinking rules, Prosecco is the only alcohol I allow myself to drink before noon without feeling -and looking- like a hopeless drunk.]

Little did I know Europeans promised me not only a good dry bubbly, but an entire sensual -and sexual- experience: I got a bottle of Follador: ‘Wow,’ I thought. ‘That’s just awesome! To hell with my flight!’

Alas, it was all a big tease. I finished the damn thing and there were just bubbles, pero de follar, no hubo nada de nada.

So be careful, my friends. This prosecco is puras promesas.