Challenged by some very unorthodox methods to teach English to Latinos (such as this one and this other one) Mexicans have come up with yet the most creative way to teach Spanish to English speaking people (i.e. mostly gringos.)
All you have to do is read the following sentences as if you were reading English.
Check it out. It’s easy, it’s revolutionary and… It’s FREE!
1. Boy As-N-R (Voy a cenar): I’m going to have dinner
2. N-L-C John (En el sillón): On the armchair
3. Be a Hope and Son (Viejo panzón): Fat old man
4. As Say Toon As (Aceitunas): Olives
5. The Head The Star Mall Less Stan Doe (Deje de estar molestando): Stop bugging me
6. Kit At Tell Loss War at Chess (Quítate los huaraches): Take off your sandals
7. Pass a Lass All Saw (Pasa la salsa): Pass the sauce
8. Be Goat Tess The Ran Chair-O (Bigotes de ranchero): Farmer’s mustache
9. Web Us Come Ham On (Huevos con jamón)
10. Does Stack Kit Toes The Car Neat As (Dos taquitos de carnitas): Two pork little tacos
Today is Black Friday, the day Americans would go out of their way to buy stuff they don’t need, lured by the promise of paying less for said stuff. I’ve always hated this so-called holiday, which pops up on my Apple Calendar (for some reason) mostly because the only thing I like to buy in life (food & alcohol) is pretty much never on sale.
This is why I’ve always been so fond of the dude in this pic (above.) I bet he works his butt off year round (Black Friday included) making sure his product moves by luring customers to the wonderful world of chicharrones on discount.
Let’s be honest: Just as any other holiday, Thanksgiving has become mostly another good reason to eat and drink in excess (at least in my case.)
But if a 3 pm “dinner” of turkey, pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce seems a little boring to you, you can always throw a “Latino Thanksgiving,” which basically means a three-day smörgåsbord of lechón, tamales, arroz, frijoles, elote, tostones, tequila, poker games — and plenty of dancing and family drama.
If any of the above sounds exciting enough, you are in luck.
Here are 8 SIMPLE STEPS to turn your regular Thanksgiving into a Latino one:
Turkey? Who eats turkey? Run to the closest bodega and pick the biggest lechón available. Roast and stuff an apple on its mouth while you’re at it.
Cranberry sauce? We don’t even know what that is. Get a mojo going or start a guajillo marinade for said lechón
Start with plenty of tamales and make sure to serve rice, beans, gandules, tostones and/or plantains on the side.
Pumpkin? Who eats pumpkin? Really. Pumpkin is only good when you use its flowers to make one of these.
Start serving dinner at 10 pm, because, really, who has dinner at 3 pm?
Once the meal is over, and liters of alcohol have been consumed, be ready for your mother, tía or abuela to start crying inconsolably over you not visiting more often, etc.
No football. Who watches football? It’s not like it’s fútbol… Take out the baraja, the poker chips and open up the wallet.
Turn up the music and dance like maniacs all night long. And do not worry about thy neighbor. Thy neighbor should be thankful to have a Latino family around. After all, what is Thanksgiving if not an opportunity to say gracias?
A Spanish-language version of this blog post first appeared on Univision.com
Say what you will about Bill de Blasio and Marcelo Ebrard, but thanks to this useless duo, this Mexican blogger can now proudly say she lives in a city that honors “México-Tenochtitlan” right at the intersection of 116th Street and Second Avenue.
Yes, having solved their respective city’s most urgent taskes, Mr. Ebrard and Mr. De Blasio formally inaugurated the “México-Tenochtitlan Avenue” in Manhattan, just around the corner of this blogger’s favorite tacos ever.
I don’t mean to cause any international incidents here, but WHY ON EARTH didn’t they just call this avenue Manhatitlán? It would mean so much for this humble blogger.
I haven’t followed this week’s #ThreeAmigos Summit as closely as in previous years (you know? I’ve been super busy looking for a job.) Still, my timeline is an amusing patchwork of mariachi-wear jokes & cartoons. Some are good, some are great (see below), some are … meh (see above.)
Critizing the sombrero stereotype? Who has the energy any more?
At this point, it isn’t really a surprise that the “Mexican meme machine” is so amazing at its job that it should be protected by the UNESCO –or something.
In the latest example of what “my people” have done to immortalize President Andrés Manuel López Obrador 2021 visit to New York City, I give you some of the best memes echoing AMLO’s Nov. 9 posting proposing a “World Plan for Fraternity & Welfare.” (Ay, caramba!)
This blogger is super busy trying to get unemployment benefits to dwell too much on each of these, so please just scroll down, enjoy and -please- help me add to these by commenting on this post.
Mexican president Andrés Manuel López Obrador (aka AMLO) will be in the Big Apple for a short visit next week (Nov. 8 & 9) and while this blogger was eager to follow his culinary adventures in her adopted city, it looks like he will be missing out on the whole “Puebla York” experience.
According to press reports, AMLO will travel to the United Nations next week and give a speech about the dangers of corruption (no, really!) His visit corresponds with Mexico taking over the rotating presidency of the U.N. Security Council in November.
Alas, while his supporters at the “Morena New York Committee 1” are prepping a whole fiesta complete with mariachis –and plenty of local garnachas–, it looks like AMLO will remain at the UN and look all professional and stuff.
The 2021 AMLOFestNYC is free to the public and is to take place -where else?- at the Aztec Hall in Brooklyn. But the fiesta will have to go on without him.
A real pity if you asked me, since Manhatitlán is home of the best antojitos, garnachas and other Mexican goodies on this side of the border.