Month: April 2010

Texas School Urges Children to Study and Be ‘Seasoned’ Like a Beef Fajita

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When it comes to our children education, no efforts should be spared… even if you live in Texas, whose Board of Education this month decided to re-write History.

That is why Crockett Elementary School in Dallas hosted a school assembly and invited motivational speaker Fabian Ramirez to encourage students to do their best on the upcoming Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills (TAKS) test. Speaking to 200 kids that are scheduled to take the test in April, Ramírez went straight to the point:

“You have to be seasoned before you get grilled,” he said while holding 2 pounds of seasoned beef fajitas in the air before laying a portion over an electric grill. “Seasoned students are well done after they have been grilled.”

While this blogger greatly appreciates the metaphor, I think Mr. Ramírez should have added that failing the TAKS would turn these children into a bunch of burritos.

Mexican Archbishop to Replace Mahony at L.A. Archdiocese. I Can’t Tell Which is Which

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This looks like something out of the Twilight Zone. Turns out Cardinal Roger Mahony is retiring from the archdiocese of Los Angeles, and will be replaced by some guy from Monterrey, Mexico who looks very much like him.

Given the current state of affairs at the Catholic Church, it wouldn’t surprise me if this “new guy” is only a make believe, wax-made Mahony impersonator; someone who will take the punches next time something goes wrong. That way, as is often the case, you can always blame it on “The Mexican.”

¡Ay, nanita!

Photo: Los Angeles Times

Photo: Getty Images, via WSJ

Top 10 Factors That Will Make Your Company Attractive to Latinos

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As some of you must know, Diversity Inc. this week released its Top Ten Companies for Latinos, which lists the firms that “create an inclusive place for Latino workers” and the factors that make a corporation attractive to a Latino workforce.

Not to be outdone, a friend who wishes to remain anonymous, sent this blogger his own Top Ten list, which I honestly think it’s sooooo much better. Here it is:

1. They serve café cubano, arroz con gandules and real tacos in the company cafeteria.
2. The CEO speaks more Spanish than Telemundo’s Don Browne or Univision’s Joe Uva.
3. The human resource director’s office has a sign on the door that reads, “No green card? No problem.”
4. They play Latin music in the elevators
5. There are special rooms where employees can take a siesta
6. Extra large parking spaces to accommodate employee trocas
7. Company-sanctioned fifteen-minute bochinche break every day
8. The company plans to shut down during important World Cup matches this summer
9. The employee benefits package includes free consultations with an immigration lawyer
10. The lobby and waiting areas are well-stocked with copies of TVyNotas

Do you have any other that would make your office life less miserable more fun?

Dennis Haysbert Now Speaks ‘Español’

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Who said only Cristina or Don Francisco could endorse your product en español?

Dennis Haysbert, whose baritone voice has assured us like, forever, that with Allstate we are in “Good Hands,” now wants you to to know that with Allstate you are en “Buenas manos.” Haysbert this month made his Spanish-language debut in a series of television commercials now airing on most Hispanic networks.

Longoria Reveals Yet Another Artistic Quality

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Not content with having achieved a successful career as a television star, restaurateur, philanthropist and museum buff, my favorite retro-acculturated Latina, Eva Longoria, is ready to make a splash in the world of documentary filmmaking.

As an official Pepsi spokesperson, Longoria is set to direct and produce an intriguing documentary about Hispanics and how our experiences “have helped shape the American landscape,” which I think has nothing to do with landscaping, but you never know.

Eva’s documentary is part of a bigger effort, inexplicably called “Yo Sumo” and launched by Pepsi to show how U.S. Hispanics count, contamos or -as the company will have you believe- sumamos.
I personally want to sumar my voice and congratulate Mrs. Longoria Parker on her new venture, although I fear it might interfere with her role as an active member of the CSPCNMAL. Only time will tell.