Category: Awkard homages

‘Texicanas’ to Chronicle the Lives of Lavish Latinas in San Antonio –for Some Reason

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Not content with torturing us with its Mexican Dynasties nonsense, Bravo TV has announced a new Mexican-inspired project: Texicanas, a sort of  Latino Desperate Real Housewives that will chronicle the drama of… lavish Latinas in San Antonio, Texas.

According to Bravo TV:

Texicanas follows Penny Ayarzagoitia and her sophisticated gal pals through la vida loca — and rica — in the Alamo City as they juggle family and fun. Most of the women grew up in Mexico before making San Antonio home.

Judging from the preview (below) these ladies speak Spanglish; drink lots of fancy cocktails, go to shooting ranges for fun and attend parties featuring papel picado, because Mexico!

Texicanas is set to premiere on May 7 and this blogger cannot wait to not watch it.

The Avocado Toast Sneakers are Here, Because Hipsters are Determined to Ruin Everything

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Not content with having ruined meals –and jacked up the price of avocados to ridiculous levels– American hipsters are at it again; this time with a plan to ruin footware as well.

Yes, my friends, according to multiple reports, the “Saucony Originals Shadow 6000 Avocado Toast sneakers” are here for a price I can only guess will be as high as an “avocado toast.”

I’m kind of busy right now, but I’ll be filing this under the #PinchesHipsters and #StupidPropositions categories… and then proceed to jump out the window.

Via: Footwear News

Do you Like Hummus but *Love* Avocado? The Guacammus is Here!

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Crazy Fresh!

Crazy Fresh Products, a company that guarantees “fresh-cut and ready-to-eat veggies and salsas,” has concocted the Guacammus, a blend of guacamole and hummus that is sure to make hipster-millennials salivate.

This thing was last seen at a local store for $5.99 –and yes, this is what it actually looks like.

If Guacammus is not for you, these people are also peddling Picomole, Apple Salsa and Cranberry Salsa among other atrocities, because why the hell not?

Hat tip: @lechancle

GOP Congresswoman Eats Pozole Pizza and I Can’t Even…

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GOP Congresswoman Debbie Lesko, from Arizona, took to Twitter to show off her very own Arizona Pozole Pizza, a weird concoction made specially for her by the local D.C. Pizzeria Paradiso.

Filing this under ‘guácatelas’

The stunt was part of  Pizzeria Paradiso’s United States of Pizza: Women’s Slice of the Pie, a “rotating weekly menu of state-themed pies honoring and highlighting elected female officials per state,” –apparently because International’s Women Month and thus the pozole thing.

As if I needed one more reason to despise Republicans… (¡guácala!)

Via: The Eagle

Americans Discover Sarapes; Call them ‘Serapes’ –and Everything Is Awful

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People are hashtagging #serapes #serapholic and #serapify and I’m dying!

I’ve been on the #ItsSarapeNotSarape thing for quite some time now, but thanks to a sharp Twitter follower today I learned there’s even a Serapify and Serapholic hashtags on Instagram. I clicked on it and went down a horrific, serape-filled rabbit hole.

Welp!

Hat tip: Laura Gomez Rodriguez

Bodegas are a National Treasure; Just Don’t Ask the Owner for the Bathroom Key

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It is no secret that bodegas are a wonder of sorts. No matter the time of day you will surely find all your basics. Late night-condoms? a Guadalupe Virgin candle? Emergency tampons? Terrible coffee? …. The bodeguero has your back.

Oh, but try not asking him to use the bathroom, unless you want to unleash a series of… hilarious musical events.

WATCH Saturday Nights’ Live (March 2, 2019 episode)

This Game Lets you Pick a Foam Burrito and Throw it at Someone –for some Reason

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Throw Throw Burrito has raised almost $1 million on Kickstarter. But… why?

The creators of Exploding Kittens and other silly board games are prepping Throw Throw Burrito, a card game that will have players pick up a foam burrito and… throw it at another player.

I have no idea why anybody would want to do that, but the only good news is that two plush burritos are included in this thing.

Let the genius behind the game explain their creation themselves, shall we?

Via: CNET en Español

‘Hola México’ Photoshops Yalitza Aparicio; Hilarity Ensues

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From Edgar G. Pichardo (@ElDeCreativo)

Hola México jumped on the Yalitza Aparicio bandwagon with a colorful splash –and cover story honoring the Oscar-nominated indigenous actress. But Hola México being Hola México, decided to give Yalitza the not-so-indigenous look, going a little heavy on the Photoshop, both on the cover and in the inside pages of the magazine.

Twitter Mexico, of course, responded as it usually does: With dozens of possible, hilarious theories to explain Yalitza’s impossibly long legs.

Here’s a screenshot taken from the pages of Hola México:

And here are some of my favorite reactions:

Two theories

Three knees?

What is going on?

A matter of … perspective?

Another possibility

Well…

Bernie Sanders’ Spanish-language Website Is Offering Free Donuts –I Think

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Please tell me you get a free donought when you click that red button.

Remember when Bernie Sanders was “progresivo” in Spanish?

Well, looks like in this, his second run for the US presidency, Bernie is still determined to court the vote of my people (i.e. The Hispanics.)

This time around though, Bernie has launched a Spanish-language Website (well, sort of) asking for donations, which doesn’t really say much about anything, except that it features a huge red button with the word DONA which –as you can imagine– is giving this blogger hope for some free donuts.

I’m not clicking it yet, but I scrolled down a bit only to find a cryptic, two-word message: lorem, lorem, which I hope is code language for Universal Healthcare and Tax the Hell out of the Billionaires.

Is this code language for Universal Healthcare?

Go, Bernie Progresivo!

Trump-Themed Toilet Paper Knows no Borders –and Supports Migrants

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What ever happened to Softness Without Borders?

The Mexico made Trump-themed toilet paper was first announced in 2017 with much fanfare, but we sort of lost track of it –until now that it began making the rounds on the Internet –again– as Mr. Trump insists a border wall will be built to keep “nasty Mexicans” and other bad hombres away.

Unlike the president of the United States, the Mexican-made Trump Paper offers “Softness without borders” and claims to “actually support migrants,” since its creator pledges to donate 30 percent of the proceeds to organizations helping migrants entering the United States.

The package also boasts it contains “puros rollos” — a double-entendre that means “pure rolls” but can also be understood as “pure nonsense,” which is, well, much more accurate to our current situation.

Oh, and one more thing: What’s with Zapata and the Burrito Revolution?…