Category: Politics

NALEO Wants you to Know Joseph and Mary Got Themselves Counted. And so Should You

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Behold this promotional ad for the 2010 Census, because if Evangelical leaders have their way, it might soon disappear from the face of the Earth.

The above poster is part of a broad campaign by the National Association of Latino Elected Officials (NALEO), urging Hispanics to make themselves counted in the upcoming Census. Because, really, what better way to get Latinos on your side than telling them Jesus was in fact born during a Census ordered by Caesar Augustus?

Alas, Christian leaders don’t find the thing amusing at all.

“The Bible establishes clearly that we are not supposed to use the name or God or Jesus in vain for any other purposes than worshiping,” Rev. Miguel Rivera, head of the National Coalition of Latino Clergy and Christian Leaders, told the Washington Post.

I don’t know you, but there’s something very puzzling to me about the whole thing: I mean, I do want to get myself counted but… where am I supposed to find a donkey?

Latinos and Republicans Share Same Values… And an Unbridled Passion for Mariachi Music and Hats

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In her ongoing campaign efforts to bring “a brighter future” to California, Meg Whitman wants Latinos to pick her as the state’s next governor. Why?

Simply because, as Whitman says herself: “Many Latinos share the values of the Republican Party: lower taxes, accountable government and a system that value systems that rewards innovation and entrepreneurial thinking,” and –from what I could gather in the following video– an unbridled enthusiasm for Mariachi music and gear.

Watch as she addresses a crowd at Cielito Lindo Restaurant, while being serenaded in the background by -what else?- a Mariachi band playing El Son de la Negra [or… shall we say El Son de la Afro-Americana?]

Hat tip: Blogadera

Watch Out! Gringos Send UFO’s to Mexico Border

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And by UFO’s I mean to say Unmanned Flying Objects.

Just in time for this upcoming Season to be Jolly, the U.S. government has unveiled a “super” idea: It will begin using military predator drones to catch illegal immigrants along the U.S.-Mexico border. These babies, which are currently used by the military in Iraq and Afghanistan, cost only $13.5 million each, but can fire two AGM-114 Hellfire missiles… which must be like shit scary stuff.

[Chances are your Transborder Immigrant Tool will not be of much assistance in helping you make it across unscratched.]

Ah… Isn’t it satisfying to see your taxes being put to good use?

A Hot Potato and Lots of Bulls Star in Mike Bloomberg’s Latest Hispanic Campaign Push

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You gotta appreciate the efforts done by Michael Bloomberg, who wants to be re-elected, like, forever as mayor of New York City.

And in his relentless push to attract Spanish-language voters (and presumably Spanish people too) he is actually telling us that Nueva York es de “toros” y lo hacemos entre “toros”. (“New York belongs to bulls; and it’s being built by bulls.”)

And if that’s not Spanish enough… I don’t know what is!

Estefan, Longoria Ecstatic About National Latino Museum… We Just Need to Raise, Like $300 Million

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Are you clueless about Latino culture?

Worry no more! The Nobel-prize-winning Obama administration this week got a little closer to the creation of a National Latino Museum in Washington.

Spearheaded by Spanish tortilla empresaria Eva Longoria (aka La prieta fea) and Emilio “Lord of Miami” Estefan, a dedicated commission is working in determining how this national museum would best serve in portraying the history and culture of Latinos in the U.S.

Exuding extreme pride -and apparently with a straight face- Estefan was quoted saying: “Today is definitely a proud day […] “This could never have happened 20 years ago. We’re going to create a legacy that will last forever.”

Which is, like, great, considering museum enthusiasts will have to raise somewhere between $250 million and $500 million for the thing. But hey, aren’t Latinos the trillion-dollar opportunity?

¡Sí, se puede! ¡Sí, se puede!

Obamas to Host ‘Fiesta Latina’ [Didn’t Invite Me]

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obama-sombreroNo job? No health care? No immigration reform? No problema!

The president wants you to know he cares about Latinos, so tonight he will be hosting a special event honoring Spain and Hispanics. Why not?

Dubbed -what else?- Fiesta Latina, the event will feature performances by -who else?- Marc Anthony, Gloria Estefan and George Lopez, because those are the only three Latinos we should really care about: they all have jobs, a health-care plan and more importantly an American citizenship.

Happy Heritage Month suckers hermanos!

Guess Who Will be Pitching This Weekend at Yankee Stadium?

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Very rarely Every now and then Hispanic Heritage Month gives us some pleasant surprises, like this coming Saturday, when Justice Sonia Sotomayor will come off the bench… and onto the Yankees field to toss the ceremonial first pitch at Yankee Stadium, before the New York Yankees take on the Boston Red Sox.

“Having Justice Sotomayor, a South Bronx native, participate in our yearly Hispanic Heritage Month celebration is very exciting, as she is an inspiration to so many,” the Yankees’ director of Latino Affairs, told the local media.

We wish Ms. Sotomayor a safe pitch and hope she will have the time to enjoy some of the “Latin delicacies” the venue has to offer, including $5 empanadas at Goya’s Salsa on the Go food stand.

Yumi!

Chávez Urges Venezuelans to Use Their ‘Vergatarios’ (And it’s NOT What you Think)

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You might not know this (why would you?) but the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela prides itself -among many other things- on having manufactured one of the world’s cheapest cellular telephones, specifically designed to be available to the masses in a sort of no-caller-left-behind communications policy.

“The $14 phone is made using Chinese technology and featuring a camera, radio and MP3 player,” according to a Reuters story.

So far so good, but somebody still has to explain to this blogger why Mr. Hugo Chávez insisted in naming these cuties Vergatarios (a crude name for male genitalia). Judging for the picture, the “penis phone” looks quite small…

oh… I see. Never mind!

Queen Sofía Is Just Like Us! She Flies Low Cost

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Low-cost airline Ryanair (yes, the same airline that is asking us to pay for using the loo) is somehow pissed at Queen Sofía of Spain after she and her Royal entourage managed to scrap a Ryanair print ad featuring the Queen herself….The reason?

Ryanair found out Queen Sofía recently booked a £13 (15 euros) Ryanair flight to England to visit her sick brother, so the company promptly released an advertisement featuring the Queen herself and the -aptly- tagline: Fly like a monarch, something the Queen didn’t find funny at all, though this blogger thought it was, like, great. The best slogan. Ever.

The implied joke, of course, was that the Queen is cheap, so Ryanair ultimately agreed to withdraw the ad.

Come on! Can’t our royalty also save some bucks amid this economic mess?

West Texas Mayor Quits Post, Moves to Mexico With Undocumented Lover

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JW_Lown It looks like undocumented Mexican workers not only want to steal your jobs, but also your so-very-cute politicians.

Just when we thought “coming out” was still not very “in” among some high-profile individuals, the mayor of a West Texas city abruptly resigned Wednesday after acknowledging being involved in a relationship with an undocumented Mexican. According to the local press, J.W. Lown, 32, mayor of San Angelo, said he didn’t want to take the oath of office knowing he was “aiding and assisting” someone who is not a U.S. citizen. He was to be sworn in Tuesday but did not show up for the ceremony.

“I left a home. I left a ranch. I left a promising political career,” Lown told the AP.

The pair are said now to be in Mexico, reportedly living la vida loca waiting for a visa to return. Ah… l’amour!

No Kids? No Significant Other? Lots of Nieces and Nephews? Then You Must Be Gay

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Not content with raising questions about Sonia Sotomayor’s politics (and despite the fact that nobody seems to be able to pronounce her name) the so-called mainstream media is now questioning her sexuality, because, you know, if you bring your mother to the announcement of your appointment and show no signs of ever getting married (ever) then you gotta be gay.

Oh, I just re-read the thing and realized I’m gay!

Media’s First Order of Business: Learn How to Spell Sotomayor

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Needless to say: my favorite part about American media’s coverage of Sonia Sotomayor’s appointment to the Supreme Court is that very few people seem to get her name right. I mean: not even the L.A. Times, hailing from a city that is, like, 105% Hispanic.

Sotomayer? Sotomoyer? Sotamayor? Sotameyer? The possibilities seem endless (just like Chávez’ anniversary radio show)

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The following story is from the Kansas City Star, which we cannot forgive, especially now that Latinos are starting to take over the place.


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Want more: There’s plenty! Just click here, here or here.

Chávez Celebrates Everlasting Presidency With Endless Broadcast

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alo-presidenteHow else would you celebrate a 10-year presidential term with no end in sight than with a 4-day radio and television broadcast of the president himself?

Yes, my friends. Just when you thought Venezuelan media couldn’t get any more interesting, President Hugo Chávez today announced that a special edition of Aló, Presidente, the radio and television show he started ten years ago, will kick off Thursday May 28 and will broadcast, uninterrupted until Sunday May 31st.

As Chávez told some media outlets, “the program will be just like a telenovela…there will be music, interviews…”

Which I thought was kind of funny, because other than RDB there is not a lot of music going on in telenovelas -much less interviews, so we’ll just have to wait and see!