Category: Politics

Mexican Singers, Russian Hackers, Same Difference, Says Texas Congressman Mike Conaway

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giphymariachi

In the latest episode of the political joke we’re now living, Rep. Mike Conaway from Texas just told The Dallas Morning News (apparently with a straight face) that the Democrats using Mexican singers, charros, mariachis and soap operas to lure Hispanics to the Hillary Clinton campaign is pretty much the same thing as the Russian hacking scandal.

Per Conaway himself:

“Harry Reid and the Democrats brought in Mexican soap opera stars, singers and entertainers who had immense influence in those communities into Las Vegas, to entertain, get out the vote and so forth.”

And this, says Conaway, should be considered “foreign influence […] If we’re worried about foreign influence, let’s have the whole story.”

Really? Last I checked, many of those colorful people seen singing on stage or hosting taco-filled fiestas for Hillary were actually U.S.-born or U.S. citizens (Los Tigres del Norte, Julieta Venegas, Vicente Fernández, etc.) but anyway, they were not sneaking behind the Web to hack an election were they.

Come on! ¡Pinche Conagüey!

Via: Dallas Morning News

Mexico’s Environment Ministry Taps non-Diverse Children to Promote Bio-Diversity: LOL

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semarnat

Leave it to Mexican casting directors — and advertising agencies — to enlist the least diverse group of children to star in a commmercial touting, well, the country’s amazing bio-diversity.

Not that I’m really surprised since Mexicans on television tend to look a bit whiter than your average Mexican, but still.

BESIDES: What the hell is going on in this commercial? Why not feature ACTUAL animals, plants and such?

As my paisanos like to say: El chiste se cuenta solo… 

Via: Semarnat on Twitter

Mexico’s Top Diplomat Wins First Prize in Guacamole Competition, Because Mexico

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Claudia Ruiz Massieu was the lucky winner of the country's 2016 #RetoGuacamole
Claudia Ruiz Massieu was the lucky winner of the country’s 2016 #RetoGuacamole

Claudia Ruiz Massieu, Mexico’s Secretary of Foreign Affairs, beat a bunch of other cabinet members in the challenging task of… preparing a guacamole.

The stunt, known in social media simply as the Guacamole Challenge (#RetoGuacamole) officially kicked off the 2016 edition of the nation’s Food Show. This blogger can only anticipate some great diplomacy coming from her birth country in the next few years, as our leaders prepare to face the Orange Clown.

Via: Milenio

Fidel Castro Is Dead, Because 2016

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On November 25, 2016, at around 10:00 PM local time, Raúl Castro confirmed the dead of Fidel Castro, the Cuban revolutionary who was the nemesis of 11 U.S. presidents. He was 90.

This blogger has yet to process this information, and it won’t be easy, mostly because 2016 has been hitting us with one calamity after another. PLUS… I’m still trying to recover from a week-long tacos/tamales smörgåsbord in Mexico City.

My whole family is in mourning mood right now, though I had to remind them the worst is yet to come… Hello, Jan. 20, 2017!

Can 2016 please take us all and get this thing over with?

RIP FIDEL

Alicia Machado Moves On: Launches Male Fragrance, Develops Extra Limbs, Writes Book

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What's with the extra arm? Anybody?
What’s with the extra arm? Anybody?

Former Miss Universe Alicia Machado, who this year jumped to non-Hispanic fame after confessing to having being called horrible things like Miss Piggy and Miss Housekeeping by Horrible-Person Donald Trump (HPDT), is apparently moving on.

The Venezuela native this week took to Twitter to promote her new fragrance, aptly named “Malicia” (get it?) and to inform the world that she’ll be writing a book about … yes, you guessed it! HPDT.

Anyhow, I’m all up for people moving on and get past this sombre, horrible, sad period, but can somebody please explain the third arm?

This blogger is still VERY depressed, so please, go on, amuse me….

Trump’s Sexist Remarks are not Even Suitable for ‘Reggaeton’

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trumppromoreggaeton

And just because it’s only a few hours (YES, HOURS!) before this circus election is finally over… I give you el reggaetrump, a 30-second explainer on how the Republican candidate’s remarks about women are waaaay worse than those of your regular reggaetonero.

This blogger loathes both, the candidate *and* reggaeton, but el reggaetrump makes a great point… Besides, it was crafted by two very creative Mexicans: my buddies Paco Olavarrieta (Dieste) and Carlos Maya (Mixto Music) who have earned a permanent spot in this blog’s “Mexicans: How Can Anyone Not Like Us” archives.

WARNING: The following video contains language suitable only for the Trump types and NSWF, so if you prefer to watch a CENSURED version, go here.

(Props also go to Ornella Poumián for the amazing illustrations.)

Ever Wanted to Give Donald Trump a ‘Chanclazo?’ These people Will Do it for you

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112

A group of advertising creatives hailing from several countries have concocted a way to persuade Latinos to go vote on November 8: using the power of La chancla, the most powerful persuasion tool known to Latinos.

With the hopes to increase the number of registered Hispanics that actually go out and cast a vote, the group has crafted VoteOrLaChancla, a platform that will give Donald Trump the schooling he deserves (i.e. a smack on the face with a chancla) every time you pledge to vote.

For details about the super simple tech involved in this thing, go to CNET en Español

Hat tip: Chancla correspondent @lechancle

‘ZopiloTrump’ Embarks on National Tour around Mexico to Scare the Hell Out of my People

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zopilote2

You might not know this, but zopilotes are really, really bad birds.

Imagine this, but Mexican –and thus, way scarier.

With this in mind, Oaxacan artist Víctor Robinson has created the “ZopiloTrump”, the scariest thing you’ll see this year on both sides of the border, mind you.

The ZopiloTrump was unveiled Thursday, October 27 in Mexico City and is expected to embark on a national tour until it reaches Mexicali, right the site where he-who-shall-not-be-mentioned plans to erect a big, yuuuuge wall.

zopilobest

Oh, and just in time to celebrate the upcoming Day of the Dead, here’s an awesome “calavera” cortesy of the aforementioned artist:

Andaba la calaca flaca
llorando por todo México, 
porque a Donald Trump 
lo invitó Peña Nieto. 
La huesuda indignada 
a Trump le reclamó:
“¿Qué haces aquí racista de lo peor?”
A lo que Donald respondió:
“Vieja anoréxica, 
yo tener para ti dinero, 
edificios, mansiones, hasta un avión”.
“De  ti no quiero ni maiz”, dijo la parca, 
“Tú no tienes  amigos,
y de espíritu eres pobretón, 
además  vas a  perder la elección,  
y deja en paz a los  migrantes 
que tanto los cuido yo”. 

Via: El Diario

Hillary Clinton Does ‘El Gordo y la Flaca,’ Because You Gotta do What you Gotta Do

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hillary

Hillary Clinton made Hispanic History (i.e. Hispandering) on Tuesday, Oct. 25, 2016 by showing up at Univision’s long-running El Gordo y la Flaca; declaring Mexican food is her favorite and even getting up to dance salsa with the crew.

Alas, she did not take her clothes off to join The Fat One in his famous jacuzzi. Now THAT would have been entertaining…

Now I’m dead.

DEVELOPING: This blog post will be updated as soon as this recovers from shock (which will likely occur until after Happy Hour)

Via: Univision.com

Pro-Trump SuperPAC Launches First Spanish Language TV Ad. I’ts Awful and Has Typos, of Course

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¡Ay mis ojos!
¡Ay mis ojos!

In what appears to be Great America PAC’s first Spanish-language television ad backing Donald Trump, we can see Hillary Clinton shown barking like a dog while a narrator says something like “If you want the dog, accept the fleas,” except that the superimposed Spanish-language text on the screen actually says “accepta,” instead of acepta.

But none of it matters, because the whole thing is so horrible, it will make you cringe even if you don’t speak Spanish.

WATCH. CRINGE. DO NOT REPEAT

Via: Kantar Media.

Got the Election Blues? Have a ‘Bad Hombres’ Burrito; Wash it Down with Mexican Coca-Cola

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corazon

Say what you will about you-know-who* but you cannot deny he has given my people (i.e. The Mexicans *and* The Funny People) plenty to work with.

Take the Bad Hombres burrito, spotted in Portland, Maine, which according to their creators sold out 2 hours after putting it on the menu the day after the last debate.

I can only hope the lucky ones to get their hands on one were able to wash it down with a Mexican Coca-Cola, to further spitte you-know-who*.

*Starting today, this blogger will do her best to stop mentioning this individual by name. 

Via: El Corazón