Crisis? What economic crisis? Mexico’s disgustingly fat healthy-looking Finance Minister Agustín Carstens seemed to have his head elsewhere during this week’s Mexico visit by the Sarkozys. The hell with everything else!
“¡Mamita sabrosa!”
Month: March 2009
Mexicans Develop Male Birth Pill. Makes me Love Them More than Ever [Mexicans not Men]
Mexican scientists have done it my friends: they claim they have come up with a píldora anticonceptiva… for men, which will allow them to do whatever it is they want to do without leaving any living traces behind.
According to a recent article in the Mexican press:
“A group of investigators at the Universidad Autónoma Metropolitana (UAM) have been working on this little wonder for over 2 years. The pill, which men will not have to take everyday, will allow them to ejaculate without releasing any sperm.”
Additionally, the male pill is NOT expected to make men fat, moody or make them feel like throwing things at you for no apparent reason.
Alas, this little wonder is not scheduled to hit Mexican pharmacies until around 2019, by which time we’ll all be old and bored anyway.
Dora’s New Look Enrages Parents. What’s Next? -They Wonder- Dora the Stripper?
I’m sure you heard all about it: Dora the Explorer is getting a sexy makeover, and while Mattel and Nickelodeon have only released a silhouette, the new Dora is sure to make your palms sweaty (Well, not really):
“The revamped Dora shows her with long locks, a short skirt and pointed ballet pumps.”
Meanwhile, a group of idle concerned mothers have filed an online petition to ban the new look asking: “What next? Dora the Cheerleader? Dora the fashionista with stylish purse and stilettos? Dora the Pop Star with Hoppin’ Dance Club and “Juice” Bar?”
And, may I add: What about Dora, the Spanish-language broadcast weather girl featuring a good pair? Anyone?
That’s a Whole Lot of [Hispanic] Niñitos!
That’s it my friends. Remember the New York sixtuplets, the first ever born to a Hispanic couple? Soon, they will be joining the billions millions of little ones taking over populating America’s kindergartens. According to the latest Census data:
“Nearly a quarter of all the nation’s kindergarten students are Hispanic, more than triple the rate during the 1970s.”
That is roughly ….a lot of chilpayates.
And wait ’till you hear some staggering statistics about tortillas consumption. Stay tuned. More Census data to come.
Photo: Viktor Glez
Buy T-Shirt. Pray. Help Mexico Qualify for FIFA 2010
There are only a few companies that know how to pitch a product to their target market. And NaCo is one of them.
In their most recent pitch, NaCo creators this week launched the “fútbol prayer tee,” featuring the image of Mexico’s coach Sven-Göran Eriksson as an winged angel holding a soccer ball with the name San Eriksson on it. Because, you know, there is no other way we’ll ever make it to South Africa.
Is there?
Zapatero Invites Everybody to ‘Follar’ in Russia
Spanish Prime Minister José Luis Rodriguez Zapatero surely knows what needs to be done to support tourism to Russia.
Ah…. .. the wonders of Freudian slips.
Minnesotan Teens Think Mexico’s ‘Problem’ Sounds Just like the Perfect Spring Break Vacation
Now that the U.S. State Department has issued a travel alert warning people about the dangers of going to Mexico, thousands of reckless American teenagers are pondering their options: To go or not to go to Cancún for their spring break and terrorize the locals with their binge drinking and wet T-shirt parties.
But while many are already considering alternative destinations, Minnesotan teens seem to be much more adventurous:
“I read that the main problems are alcohol and the club scene — which pretty much sums up my spring break,” a sophmore told Minnesota’s Star Tribune.
You go girl!
Even Layoffs are a Happy, Musical Affair at Univision
One of the casualties of Univision’s latest round of layoffs was Despierta América’s host Fernando Arau, who used his own morning show on Monday to say good-bye after 12 years of annoying entertaining Latinos on TV.
For the occasion, the pink-slipped Arau was treated by his co-hosts and family members with a real Mariachi band singing El Rey.
Ahhh…. if only everybody could be fired that way….
To watch Arau’s Mariachi farewell click here:
Venus Williams Wins Mexican Open in Acapulco. Celebrates Wearing a Mariachi Hat
The super ultra fit Venus Williams this week beat defending champion Flavia Pennetta to claim the Mexican Open title in Acapulco. And, judging from this photo, she also took the opportunity to sport some local paraphernalia.
Meanwhile, in Thailand…
Mexican golfer Lorena Ochoa strikes three victories, and celebrates wearing… a Banamex hat (because, as you know, the Mexican bank is now property of the U.S. government)
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