Category: Latin America

U.S. Prosecutors Have Spicy Evidence Against El Chapo

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As the trial against El Chapo gets closer, prosecutors this week filed a 90-page memo detailing a 1992 shootout in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, that resulted in six people dead. The memo, says The New York Times, was designed “to list the crimes that Mr. Guzmán was believed to have committed, but were not specifically laid out in his indictment.”

The list includes all kinds of horrors: Murders, acts of torture, kidnappings, prison breaks and… “an attempt to smuggle seven tons of cocaine in cans of jalapeños.”

Via: The failing New York Times

Tijuana to Emulate the Iconic Hollywood Sign, because Mexico

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Why go to Hollywood when you can just go to TJ?

Having solved its most pressing issues, the city of Tijuana is working on emulating the iconic Hollywood sign in Los Angeles.

According to the Mexican press, the project was conceived –and is being financed– by the local Chamber of Commerce. It will be erected on the slopes of Colorado hill in the southeastern part of Tijuana at a cost of about $230,000.

The TIJUANA sign will be 15 meters high by 80 meters long and its letters would be illuminated with solar-powered lamps whose colors would randomly change.

Because, Mexico…

Via: Mexico News Daily

Peña Nieto Rebukes Trump in Video Message –Hilarity Ensues

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Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, on Thursday, blasted Donald Trump in a video message, vowing that “nothing and no one stands above the dignity of Mexico” and adding basically that: “If your recent statements are the result of frustration due to domestic policy issues, to your laws or to your Congress, it is to them that you should turn to, not to Mexicans.”

Here’s Peña Nieto’s original tweet:

The response was pretty unusual, really, and Mexicans took to Twitter to express solidarity with their president but also some hilarious takes on the whole thing.

Here are only some of my favorite ones; I’ll be updating this as I see more (I gotta work, you know?)

You’re so cute when you’re mad

When EPN Defends Mexicans

 

Trump’s Reaction?

Lo que el viento a Juárez, Basically

Time to Fight for your Leader

In a Nutshell

And the Best Tweet of them all …

 

 

Woman Running DHS Says Replacing Current Sections of Border Wall Counts as New Wall 🙄

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Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen this week met with reporters to mumble something about Trump’s Big Beautiful Wall (TBBW.)

In a nutshell, Ms. Nielsen wants us to know is that expanding and/or enhancing Obama’s border fence should count as a new wall, because that’s how this administration rolls. I don’t really know what the hell she’s talking about, but it doesn’t matter either because nothing makes any sense anymore.

WATCH. Weep. Do NOT repeat.

Mexican Entrepreneurship Knows No Limits Part XVII

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What else were you going to call your fitness center in Mexicali?

Mexico, the land that brought us El Chapo’s special gourmet coffee and original escape T-shirt, among millions of wonderful things, continues to foster local entrepreneurship.

Take this business owner in Mexicali, Mexico, who has found the BEST NAME EVER for his otherwise unremarkable fitness center.

MEXICANS: How can anyone NOT like us?

Hat tip: @lechancle

Emma González Is a National Treasure –and the Haters are Here

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Wearing a green olive jacket featuring several patches, including one of the Cuban flag, Emma González delivered a gut-wrenching speech at the “March for Our Lives” on March 24, 2018.

Unless you live under a rock (or maybe you’re busy celebrating National Greek Independence Day) you probably have read by now that millions of people took to the streets on Saturday March 24, 2018 to say ¡basta! to the NRA –and the politicians who take their money in the name of defending the Constitution or some BS like that.

While I joined the thousands that took to the streets in New York City, a young woman in Washington, D.C. delivered the most gut-wrenching speech of them all. It was Emma González, a senior at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, who stood on the stage for a full 6 minutes and 20 seconds… the length of the Parkland shooting.

“Six minutes and about twenty seconds. In a little over six minutes, 17 of our friends were taken from us, 15 were injured, and everyone, absolutely everyone, was forever altered,” she began. She spoke for a little under two minutes and then she said nothing for the remaining four minutes and change.

WATCH it here:

Upon seeing her speech over and over again, most of which was dominated by a powerful silence, I couldn’t help but notice the little Cuban flag she wore on her olive green jacket and thought it would be a matter of time until the haters would go after her for that.

Well, it happened about 18 hours later, when the group known as “Hispanics for Trump” Tweeted the following.

Haters gonna hate

I’m sure the hate has only just begun and we’ll see shit tons of it in the days and months to come. But none of that will matter to this blogger who –for once– has some kind of hope in the future of this country.

He dicho.

Donald Trump Goes to the U.S.-Mexico Border. Hilarity Ensues

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President Trump had the “brilliant” idea to visit San Diego to inspect several design prototypes for his proposed wall along the U.S.-Mexico border.

As I’m writing this, Mr. Trump was still at the border meeting with border patrol officers and wall-enthusiasts, so this post is only a taste of what’s to come.

Please check back later, as this post will be updated throughout the day with some of the most hilarious reactions to the visit, including –ahem, ahem– my very own (because, really, if I don’t laugh at my own jokes, who will?)

These people…

Go do something useful…

The Mexicans are OK

El Bisnes es el Bisnes

And the funniest thing that started it all!😂😂

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.jsPhoto via Reuters

New York City’s New School Chancellor Is a Professional Mariachi. No, Really.

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If everything else fails, Richard Carranza can always go back to serenading las muchachas. ¡Ajúa!

From the Archives of I Could Not Make This Thing Up if I Tried comes Richard Carranza, the recently appointed New York City Schools Chancellor, who took a very unsual approach when discussing his new job with Mr. De Blasio and wife: He serenaded them with mariachi song María Elena.

His background is plain awesome. Per the [failing] New York Times:

At Monday’s news conference, Mr. Carranza said he had been a mariachi musician since he was about 6 years old. When he wanted to stay up late with his father and his uncles, they said the only people staying up late were people playing instruments — so he learned to play the guitar. He later worked his way through college at the University of Arizona “gigging,” as he put it on Monday.

Now you know. If running our disastrous public school system turns out to be too much for this fellow Mexican, he can always go back to serenading las muchachas. ¡Ajúa!

Just WATCH:

Via: New York Times

Darth Vader, Stormtroopers Help the Mexican Government Raise Awareness of HIV, Because Mexico

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May the Force (of Campeche’s Healthcare Professionals) Be With You!

Campeche is not only one of my favorite Mexican states; it is also the force behind a deliciously bizarre government advertising campaign to help raise awareness of HIV and AIDS.

Using the slogan HIV doesn’t kill; discrimination does, the government of Campeche has tapped none other than Darth Vader and a stormtrooper to help raise awareness of the virus, and urge citizens to attend the Capasits (a chain of ambulatory, educational centers to help people understand HIV and learn tips on prevention and other issues.)

Because, honestly… What else can be more impactful than the good ol’ Star Wars folks telling you to take care of yourself?

Just WATCH.

Via: Publimetro

Having Ran Out of Ideas, Televisa Preps ‘Like,’ a ‘Multiplatform’ Telenovela for the Modern Masses

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‘Like’ is a sequel to the super popular teen telenovela ‘Rebelde’

In an effort to lure the elusive teen audience, Mexico’s Grupo Televisa is working to bring us Like (Yes, Like as in “me gusta”) a teen telenovela that promises to “forever revolutionize” the novela genre.

And what kind of a revolution are we talking about here exactly?

“The goal is to introduce Internet and connectivity into the realm of telenovelas,” said producer Pedro Damián in an interview with Mexican television, explaining that –unlike your regular telenovela, Like is going to be a “multiplatform” one, because it will not only take place on TV, but on Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook and all that jazz.

But if none of the above is revolutionary enough for you, keep in mind this thing will take place in a “multiethnic school,” and feature kids from, like, a lot of countries and continents, that speak many languages, and… blah, blah, blah…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Via: Teleprograma

Mexicans Poke Fun at Nike’s New Sportswear, Because… Really, Nike? 🙄

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Can you spot the differences?

Nike’s new sports outfit is causing a stir in Mexico, because anyone who grew up down there would know it looks exactly like the uniform worn by kids in the country’s technical public high-schools.

Nike’s outfit consists of two pieces, a brown jacket with dark brown touches and matching jogging trousers, which are being sold for about $70 U.S. dollars (a pretty steep price for your average Mexican, if you asked me.)

All of that to look like… THIS?