Category: Latin America

Fidel Castro Is Dead, Because 2016

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On November 25, 2016, at around 10:00 PM local time, Raúl Castro confirmed the dead of Fidel Castro, the Cuban revolutionary who was the nemesis of 11 U.S. presidents. He was 90.

This blogger has yet to process this information, and it won’t be easy, mostly because 2016 has been hitting us with one calamity after another. PLUS… I’m still trying to recover from a week-long tacos/tamales smörgåsbord in Mexico City.

My whole family is in mourning mood right now, though I had to remind them the worst is yet to come… Hello, Jan. 20, 2017!

Can 2016 please take us all and get this thing over with?

RIP FIDEL

NFL Players Warned as they Head to Mexico: Don’t Leave Hotel; Don’t Eat the Food; Don’t Move…

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raiders

Poor NFL players. I’m sure for many of them this will be their first — and only — chance to visit Mexico before the wall goes up and all, but they’re already being warned about some scary shit they will likely encounter as they head “over there,” South of the Rio Grande, you know?

A memo obtained by the Associated Press was distributed to the Houston Texans Wednesday and included a page of information concerning their upcoming Mexico trip. Among the warnings was:

“Eat all meals in the meal room. DO NOT order room service” and “DO NOT eat outside of the team meal room.”

It was followed by a line advising players to leave all “expensive jewelry at home,” not to bring large sums of money and not to use ATMs.

Houston Texans will face the Oakland’s Raiders in Mexico City on Monday, Nov. 21, 2016 — If they manage to leave their room, that is.

Via: USA Today

 

Alicia Machado Moves On: Launches Male Fragrance, Develops Extra Limbs, Writes Book

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What's with the extra arm? Anybody?
What’s with the extra arm? Anybody?

Former Miss Universe Alicia Machado, who this year jumped to non-Hispanic fame after confessing to having being called horrible things like Miss Piggy and Miss Housekeeping by Horrible-Person Donald Trump (HPDT), is apparently moving on.

The Venezuela native this week took to Twitter to promote her new fragrance, aptly named “Malicia” (get it?) and to inform the world that she’ll be writing a book about … yes, you guessed it! HPDT.

Anyhow, I’m all up for people moving on and get past this sombre, horrible, sad period, but can somebody please explain the third arm?

This blogger is still VERY depressed, so please, go on, amuse me….

Ever Wanted to Give Donald Trump a ‘Chanclazo?’ These people Will Do it for you

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112

A group of advertising creatives hailing from several countries have concocted a way to persuade Latinos to go vote on November 8: using the power of La chancla, the most powerful persuasion tool known to Latinos.

With the hopes to increase the number of registered Hispanics that actually go out and cast a vote, the group has crafted VoteOrLaChancla, a platform that will give Donald Trump the schooling he deserves (i.e. a smack on the face with a chancla) every time you pledge to vote.

For details about the super simple tech involved in this thing, go to CNET en Español

Hat tip: Chancla correspondent @lechancle

This Mexican Town Will Give you a Tax Break if you Lose Weight

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mexico-sobrepeso

You can accuse my people (i.e. The Mexicans) of being lazy and all, but there is one thing we truly excel at: Fiscal Policy Innovation.

Take the town of San Nicolás de los Garza, in Northern Mexico, which is inviting property owners to a weight-loss program whose goal is to shed 10 kilograms or more during a 10-week period. The reward? A family whose combined weight loss totals 10 kilos or more will get a 50 percent credit on their 2017 taxes.

I think that is a really awesome program, especially in a state known for its world-class cabrito, which would make any property owner think twice before embracing any type of weight-loss challenge.

Personally, I do not plan to lose weight, nor quit cabrito any time soon, so it’s a great thing I don’t own property after all.

Via: Excelsior

Amazon Is Under the Impression there is a ‘Hispanic Flag’

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hispanicrootsI don’t want to rain on your Hispanic Heritage Month parade, but I felt this urge to let you know there is a Hispanic-Flag-themed thing going on on the Internet.

I will NOT name the culprit (OK, it’s Amazon.com) but there are these T Shirts currently on sale promising to mix your “Americanness” with a flag of your choice, including of course the Hispanic Flag. Because, Why-The-Hell-Not?

The only good news is that these beauties (most likely Made in China or Made in El Salvador) are only $19.99, and RETURNS ARE FREE.

See for yourself…

tshirts

 

Trump Went to Mexico. It Was Painful, but Hilarity Prevailed

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yallego

Mexicans, how can anybody not like us?

On the day Republican candidate Donald Trump (aka El Trumpo) accepted an (inexplicable) invitation by moronic Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto to publicly embarrass him (this time at his own home in Los Pinos), this blogger’s timeline was filled with something that will forever make me love my country: That unique sense of humor that always manages to shine when the going gets tough.

Here are only a few memes of the now infamous Wednesday, Aug. 31, 2016.

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The Mexican Government Wants You to Know El Chapo Has not Escaped Again –Yet

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This is an actual photo posted Friday night by Mexico Secretary of the Interior, Miguel Angel Osorio Chong. LOL
This is the actual photo posted Friday night by Osorio Chong. LOL

My country is the bestest…

On Friday night, after rumors that El Chapo Guzmán had escaped from a Mexican prison for the third time began appearing on social media, Mexico’s Secretary of the Interior, Miguel Osorio Chong, posted the above photo, with one simple message: “For the rumors, an image…”

Osorio Chong’s tweet was not only liked and retweeted by thousands of tuiteros, but it proved — once again — that Mexico is home of the surreal and the truly hilarious.

Wanna see the memes about this photo? Check back soon. This blogger is too busy planning her summer vacation working

 

 

Mexicans Mock Avocado Shortage with Hilarious Memes

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aguacatedicaprio

OK, you know the drill. No matter how tragic a situation will get, Mexicans will always see the funny side of the whole thing.

And the avocado shortage of late is no exception.

In case you have no idea what’s going on, prices of avocado have risen by more than 90 percent since the end of 2015, mostly because Mexico’s biggest ever harvest is coming to an end and a new one is not yet ready. On top of that, the shortage has coincided with a sharp fall in U.S. production caused by heatwave in California, hitting the the Fourth of July weekend, the second largest avocado consumption event of the year in the U.S. after the Super Bowl.

You might think an avocado shortage in a place like Mexico would be no laughing matter, but then again, you do not know Mexicans.

Here are some of my faves, explained for the monolingual crowd.

GET ONE KILO OF AVOCADO: SIX MONTHS WITHOUT INTEREST

aguacate

2. WHEN YOU WANT AVOCADO IN YOUR TORTA, BUT YOU ARE POOR

TORTA

3. SHOULD I BUY A KILO OF AVOCADO OR AN IPHONE 6?

iphone

JUST THROW SOME EXTRA AVOCADO TO THE AVOCADOS

PUT

 

CARLOS SLIM LOSES HALF HIS FORTUNE AFTER ORDERING ENCHILADAS WITH EXTRA AVOCADO

SLIM
El Deforma

MARRY ME; I’M LOADED

ring

 

 

Mexican Reporter Goes to Flood Area, Asks Locals to be Carried to Avoid Water. Hilarity Ensues

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sopitasA reporter in Mexico went to cover massive floods happening in Puebla, and was caught by another reporter being carried by the locals, obviously in an effort to, well, not get wet.

The original tweet (below) from reporter José Daniel Hernández simply read: “How embarrassing! @LydiaCumming, a reporter with @TVAztecaPuebla asks for help in order not to get wet.”

What followed, naturally, was a flood of tweets that have this blogger dying of laughter. Below some of my favorites. (Apologies in advance if I do not credit each one of these properly, but Twitter can be a free-for-all stealing thing.)

#SharkAttack

LadyReporteraShare

AT THE THREE AMIGOS SUMMIT

@LosSimpsonMX
@LosSimpsonMX

JUST LIKE RONALDO

@Gooz25
@Gooz25

L RING

@BorrachosVIP
@BorrachosVIP

VAMPIPE, OF COURSE

 

Going to Vegas? Look out for a Trio of Latina Swindlers

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'We don't know what to do here; it's our first time.' NOT
‘We don’t know what to do here; it’s our first time.’ NOT

It took me a while to realize this was not an ad touting the latest Latina-escort service, but a regular daytime TV commercial to entice you to Visit Las Vegas.

Watch as a trio of apparently-innocent señoritas set out to trick a bunch of gringos into believing that they just arrived and it’s their first time in Vegas.

Psssst: It’s NOT!

Hat tip: Marco Lopez

360 Camera Is so Great, It Will Let you Spot Mariachis Sneaking through the U.S. Border

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360fly Inc. has decided to launch a “provocative” ad campaign to pitch a camera that promises to give you a broader perspective of life.

To that end the company crafted what it’s supposed to be a satire of Donald Trump and his anti-Mexican discourse, speaking about his HUGE — yuge! — wall only to be interrupted by a bunch of Mexicans (mariachis, gardeners, maids and churro vendors) sneaking through the wall –aided by Clinton and Sanders.

Per a company press release:

The campaign strategically leverages the national and global interest in the 2016 presidential campaign, with a hysterical satire of Donald Trump’s “Border Wall” campaign initiative, complete with a Trump impersonator, Hillary and Bernie look-a-likes, Mexican Mariachi bands, housemaids, gardeners and even churro cart vendors. That’s right…churro cart vendors.

Yeah, churro cart vendors.

The company claims the spot is “so controversial” it has been refused by a bunch of networks, mostly because stations said they wanted to “remain politically neutral” and “didn’t want to offend certain ethnic groups.”

As a member of one of the “ethnic groups” portrayed in this thing (watch below), I don’t find the commercial particularly offensive. However, I do find it a bit dull and that, my friends, offends me more deeply.

WATCH and decide for yourself:

Via: CNET en Español