18 Years Without my Mom: The Funniest Mexican I’ve Ever Known ❤️

Cuquita & yours truly in “Little Italy,” the two words I couldn’t pronounce without my mother cracking up at my “sophisticated, unintelligible gringo accent.”

Eighteen years ago today, my mother, my best friend –and the funniest Mexican I’ve ever met– quietly passed away in a small hospital room in Mexico City.

While her (sudden and premature) death was the worst thing me and my siblings have had to endure, she left us the one thing no one will ever take away from us: A sense of humor that –she assured us– was the only way to go through life, no matter how tough the shit got going.

Cuquita told the dorkiest jokes and made the funniest remarks about being divorced, poor, underemployed, uneducated, hungover, drunk, uninsured, etc. etc. (“I have saved enough money to last me until the day I die … as long as I die tomorrow,” she used to say often –while cracking up….or  “If I didn’t know this was a hangover… I’d rush to the nearest emergency room.” har har har.)

And then there’s my personal favorite. Once, during a heated discussion with us (her kids) giving her a hard time over something, she stops and yells at us: “DO YOU GUYS EVEN KNOW WHY I NEVER WENT TO HARVARD?” … Silence ensued, I mean, fuuuuuuck, we don’t know about that thing…  Why? my sister asks almost embarrassed for not knowing.

“Because I didn’t finish elementary school! JA JA JA,” goes my mother….

Ok, you get the picture. I don’t exaggerate when I say Cuquita contributed to at least half all the Spanish slang and idiomatic expressions I used in Think Dirty Spanish. She would often call in the middle of the night with the great news that she had found –yet– another expression she’d love to see in the book. “¡Mosquita muerta!.. a ver ¿cómo dicen eso los gringos?”

She hated Walt Disney, but she wore the sweatshirt all the same, because… America!

We traveled the world together.

We went to shady tango joints in Buenos Aires; gigantic farmer markets in Los Angeles and colorful tavernas in Valparaíso, Chile. Once, on a trip between Santiago and Buenos Aires, right in the middle of the Andes, our plane had an engine failure and for a few, terrifying moments, we thought we would die right there. But then, as I hyperventilated and yelled in panic for a Valium or something, my mother started laughing out loud at our poor Argentine pilot, who was so distressed, he couldn’t even speak properly. Favor de no formor, he asked us, instead of Favor de no fumar.

BUAHAHAHAHAHA, my mom and I had a fit of hysterical, uncontrollable laughter.

Damn you, Cuquita! ¡Qué divertido era viajar juntas!

My favorite were her months-long visits to New York, when we’d roam the city in search of “real genuine stuff” to cook authentic Mexican things, but more often than not ended up in some fancy steakhouse drinking wine, cubas libres and eating meat like there was no tomorrow. (Oh, and did I mention the marathonic poker sessions?)

Cuquita spoke NO ENGLISH whatsoever, but none of that mattered, because in Nueva York, everyone knew her and spoke Spanish to her. My friends, my colleagues, my neighbors, the super, the bodega guy… todos.

To this day, no matter if I’m in CDMX or not, I know Cuquita will always have an altar in her home for Día de Muertos featuring some of her favorites: chocolates, pan de muerto, cigarettes and cubas libres (with flat Coke, which she seemed to favor –for some reason.) ¡Gracias, Catus!

I’m not sure where she is right now. But if there’s anything going on UP THERE, in the so-called afterlife, I’m sure she’s serving the cubas libres, setting up the poker table, telling the jokes –and having a blast.

Te quiero, mami. ❤❤

Mexican Black Friday Is Here!

Why pay full price for chicharrones when you can pay half price?

Today is Black Friday, the day Americans would go out of their way to buy stuff they don’t need, lured by the promise of paying less for said stuff.

I’ve always hated this so-called holiday, which pops up on my Apple Calendar (for some reason) mostly because the only thing I like to buy in life (food & alcohol) is pretty much never on sale.

This is why I’ve always been so fond of the dude in this pic (above). I bet he works his butt off year round (Black Friday included) making sure his product moves by luring customers to the wonderful world of chicharrones on discount.

(Not my photo. Claim it if yours!)

Next Time you Hear about those ‘Bad, Lazy Mexicans’…

People pass buckets and shovels to remove the rubble of a collapsed building Sept. 19 after an earthquake hit Mexico City. The magnitude 7.1 earthquake hit to the southeast of the city, killing hundreds. (CNS photo/Ginnette Riquelme, Reuters)

… just go over these photos and watch the following video.

NOTE: These images are not mine. I was fortunate enough to be elsewhere when the Sept. 19, 2017 earthquake struck. I just thought all of what has happened so far in my birth country should serve as a great reminder of how Mexicans can come together in times of crisis and tragedy, no matter what the so-called leader of the free-world would want you to believe.

Mexican Dairy Company Goes Galactic with Star Wars Milk

Mexican dairy company Grupo Lala recently launched a limited edition of milk and milk-related products featuring – what else? – characters from Star Wars, which is kind of ironic considering most of us targeted by the popular franchise are now lactose intolerant.

I guess I just age myself, but I still want to get my hands on one of these, if only to drink with my Star Wars-themed tamales.

It’s Holy Week in Mexico: Time for Jesus Accidents Nationwide

Photo credit: Pulso DF

You may not know this but Semana Santa (Holy Week) is a very important religious holiday in Mexico, and among the many events that take place during the course of the week, the so-called passion play is one of the most popular — and well-attended. It consists of a representation of the via crucis, and involves everyone, from workers, students and housewives who become actors for one day to play the roles of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, the Nazarenes, the apostles — and other characters (not all of them strictly Biblical) including a spy, a dog, and a wandering Jew.

In the play, when Christ gets captured, we see him carrying a cross a long way and until he reaches a location that represents Mount Calvary. In the most famous of these representations (the one that takes place in Iztapalapa) we see Christ carrying his cross from the town’s main square to the nearby Cerro de la Estrella in the heart of Mexico City.

Unfortunately, not all Mexican towns and cities have a mountain or even a hill around, so they resort to crucify Jesus on pretty much any location, including an electricity pole. This, as you can imagine, can have bring about some funky accidents.

JUST WATCH. ¡Pobre Jesús!

This Is the Best Ad for English Lessons you’ll ever Find

Marketing and advertising executives would be well advised to use the advertising tactics of Mr. Miguel Fong, some dude I don’t know but who teaches English in Mexico.

If you are bilingual, you will now have appreciated the power of the above ad. But here’s a quick translation for my beloved monolingual followers:

WANTED

He responds to the name “Unforgettable”

If you cannot read this name, it is because its in English. Contact me so you can learn!

Nice job Mr. Fong, I wish other language institutions would follow your lead.

Via: Reddit

Jarritos partners with personal care company, so you can smell like your favorite Mexican soda

Just when I thought I had seen all kinds of nonsensical marketing fusions, comes Native Jarritos a collaboration between personal care company Native and one of Mexico’s most famed sugary soft drinks: Jarritos.

Why? Because, for some reason, some high-level marketing executive thought it would be an amazing idea for people to go around smelling like a Mexican refresco.

The collection features Watermelon, Passion Fruit, Mandarin and Pineapple and it can be yours for “only” $13. Hurry! No matter if you end up a sweaty mess… you just have to roll on your deodorant and smell like a taquería de barrio. Yay!

Hat tip: Ignacio Sánchez Pardo on BlueSky

Deodorant Deodorant Watermelon

Move Over, Baby Jesus! Baby Yoda Wants a Piece of your Rosca de Reyes

‘Los Magos Reyes’ are almost here, says baby Yoda.

Three Kings Day – better known as Día de Reyes in Spanish-speaking countries – is celebrated on Jan. 6 to honor the Three Wise Men (Los tres reyes magos) who went through great lenghts to visit baby Jesus and bring tons of presents to celebrate his birth.

In Mexico – and a few other countries – the festivity includes the cutting of a special, oval-shaped cake known as the rosca de reyes, which comes filled with tiny plastic dolls symbolizing the hiding of the infant Jesus from King Herod’s troops. But because this is 2025 and Star Wars has become part of our daily lives, some very creative Mexicans are making Baby Yodas for you to stuff your rosca with instead.

Move over, Reyes Magos, here come los Magos Reyes!

I don’t know about you, I just think it’s adorbs!

ayñ

Merry Christmas from a CDMX Grinch Organ Grinder

Nothing says Christmas in Mexico City like a Grinch organillero.

If you’ve ever visited Mexico, I’m sure you have noticed the ubiquitous organ grinders (known as organilleros,) that tend to gather around main plazas or outside churches to provide entertainment –and one of the most characteristic sounds of my country.

Nowadays, most of Mexico’s organilleros belong to a union (formed in the late 1970s) and wear their characteristic brown uniform and hats. But there are exceptions, of course, as this dude found by a friend in CDMX, who roams about the streets of the capital city dressed up as none other but The Grinch.

And this, my friends, is the most charming thing I’ve seen lately in this annus horribilis.

WATCH HIM IN ACTION:

Burger King Launches the ‘Mexican Street Corn Whopper,’ and I Can’t Even

Why would anyone stuff Fritos in their burger?

Remember Burger King’s Texican Whopper?

Well, that was nothing compared to the recently launched Mexican Street Corn Whopper, a weird-looking sandwich stuffed with what appears to be a bunch of Fritos.

I have, of course, many questions, starting with why on Earth anyone would think this has anything to do with Mexican street corn, let alone, why would you want to add tortilla chips to your burger?

I have not tried this thing, nor have plans to do so, but passing on a thorough review from one brave soul who did eat one:

Thank goodness this didn’t have actual Mexican Street Corn lurking between the sesame seed bun. Because I can’t imagine a mere burger bun overcoming gravity’s attempt to pull down the loose corn kernels while it’s also trying to prevent the lettuce and tortilla strips from falling out.

Anyhow, there’s one thing for me to say: I think I’ll pass.

Día de Muertos Barbie Is Back – and She’s not Alone

Back in 2019, and just in time for Día de Muertos (or what Americans dare call “Mexican Halloween”) Mattel came up with a signature Barbie Día de Muertos which – according to a very long press release – featured a “long, embroidered dress decorated with flowers and butterflies [and] a crown with the iconic monarch butterflies and the cempasúchitl flower to honor, in every way, the symbols and offerings of this emblematic Mexican tradition.”

Today, as if 2024 hadn’t brought so many calamities to this world, she is back, and she’s not alone: Mattel’s Special Edition Barbie Día de Muertos comes with a catrina-faced Ken Doll Día de Muertos, featuring a “charro look” and a “calavera sugar skull bolero tie and sombrero with a golden band.”

(Oh did I mention they’re like $80 each?)

And I thought Barbie Frida Kahlo was pathetic.

Mexican President Taps Hernán Cortés to Top National Guard Post in 2024 – Because Mexico

ok not the 2024 Hernán Cortés, but still… who the hell would name their child Hernán Cortés?

Mexico’s President Claudia Sheinbaum is truly a first in many ways. Not only she is my country’s first female president, but she is also the first with a Jewish background. But to make things even more interesting, this week she appointed a new interim commander to take over the country’s increasingly powerful Guardia Nacional.

His name? Hernán Cortés, of course, because Mexico is magical and I hope it will stay this way.

Via: Gobierno de México