Category: Mexico

Mexico President Asks Spain to Apologize for the Conquest; Hilarity Ensues

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SPOILER ALERT: The information contained in this post does not hail from The Onion. This actually happened. In real life. In Mexico.

So… Mexican president Andrés Manuel López Obrador (aka AMLO) wrote a letter to Spanish King Felipe VI and Pope Francis urging them to apologize for the “abuses” of colonialism and the conquest, which took place, like, a very long long time ago.

In a video filmed at the ruins of the indigenous city of Comalcalco, in southern Mexico, [AMLO] called on Spain and the Vatican to recognize the rights violations committed during the conquest of Mexico.

Sooner than you can say NO MAMES Mexican Twitter reacted and the reaction was –naturally– hilarious.

Spain responds

Mexico, once we get our apology

Yeah, it’s going to be great!

Ja Ja Ja Ja

More Ja Ja Ja

Retaliation

The only apology Mexico needs

Mexicans Stealing the Wall is Everyone’s Favorite Story of 2019

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Hey, Mexicans are securing their walls with stolen razor wire –paid by Americans

I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. Turns out Mexicans at the U.S. border are literally stealing the razor wire put there by Trump officials to beef up security and selling it to local residents for as little as $2 (“40 pesitos, marchanta!“)

According to The Guardian, residents of barrios abutting the border told XETW 12 television in Tijuana that entrepreneurial individuals have offered to sell them the stolen concertina wire and install it for just 40 pesos per home – barely $2.

The bad news is that people are already been arrested for stealing concertina wire along the border, BUT on the upside, this is already the favorite story of some high-profile media people, including –of course– yours truly. HA HA HA HA (or as we say in Mexicou: JA JA JA JA JA.)

Via: The Guardian

The ‘New York Times’ Trolls Trump by Praising Mexican Oscar Winners

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Bad hombres? Nah, more like The Three Amigos: Alfonso Cuarón, Alejandro G. Iñárritu, GuillermoDel Toro

The 91st Academy Awards are tonight, my friends, and just in time for the big night, The New York Times decided to troll Mr. Trump in a not so subtle way, by highlighting the multiple wins and box office dollars brought to the table by Mexican directors and artists.

WATCH. ENJOY. REPEAT*

*See you tonight on Twitter

‘Hola México’ Photoshops Yalitza Aparicio; Hilarity Ensues

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From Edgar G. Pichardo (@ElDeCreativo)

Hola México jumped on the Yalitza Aparicio bandwagon with a colorful splash –and cover story honoring the Oscar-nominated indigenous actress. But Hola México being Hola México, decided to give Yalitza the not-so-indigenous look, going a little heavy on the Photoshop, both on the cover and in the inside pages of the magazine.

Twitter Mexico, of course, responded as it usually does: With dozens of possible, hilarious theories to explain Yalitza’s impossibly long legs.

Here’s a screenshot taken from the pages of Hola México:

And here are some of my favorite reactions:

Two theories

Three knees?

What is going on?

A matter of … perspective?

Another possibility

Well…

Trump-Themed Toilet Paper Knows no Borders –and Supports Migrants

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What ever happened to Softness Without Borders?

The Mexico made Trump-themed toilet paper was first announced in 2017 with much fanfare, but we sort of lost track of it –until now that it began making the rounds on the Internet –again– as Mr. Trump insists a border wall will be built to keep “nasty Mexicans” and other bad hombres away.

Unlike the president of the United States, the Mexican-made Trump Paper offers “Softness without borders” and claims to “actually support migrants,” since its creator pledges to donate 30 percent of the proceeds to organizations helping migrants entering the United States.

The package also boasts it contains “puros rollos” — a double-entendre that means “pure rolls” but can also be understood as “pure nonsense,” which is, well, much more accurate to our current situation.

Oh, and one more thing: What’s with Zapata and the Burrito Revolution?…

Avocados From Mexico Releases Super Bowl Commercial. It’s as Bad as Anything ‘Avo’ in America

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Kristin Chenoweth, a famous person I’ve never heard about, stars in Avocados From Mexico’s Super Bowl spot.

Yeah, it’s that time of the year, when not content with punishing me with frigid temperatures –and plenty of avocado-hipster nonsense– corporate America starts releasing their Super Bowl teaser commercials.

Enter the Avocados From Mexico’s Super Bowl spot, starring actress-I-had-never-heard-of Kristin Chenoweth and three small dogs who –for some reason– she tries to teach to bark the group’s famed jingle.

According to AdAge, the below is only a teaser, because there’s also a 60-second digital version of this thing (60 SECONDS!) that will be released –and which I’m sure will be four times as unbearable.

WARNING: WATCH AT YOUR OWN PERIL ⚠️

Americans Horrified to Learn about their ‘Mexican DNA’ in Hilarious Aeroméxico Campaign 😂

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Screenshot by Óscar Gutiérrez

Aeroméxico is offering Americans hefty discounts to travel to Mexico. How hefty? Well, this depends –says Aeroméxico– on said Americans’ percentage of “Mexican heritage,” whatever this means.

The problem? Judging from this new campaign (executed by Ogilvy), not all of these die-hard Americans seem to be thrilled to learn they are, well, part Mexican –even if this means they can fly to Mexicou on the cheap.

Oh, the horror!

WATCH. ENJOY. REPEAT

Via: Ogilvy.

The Avocado Board Wants You to Eat Avocados for Breakfast if You Don’t Want a Heart Attack –or Something

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Apparently, and for some reason, avocados are now part of a healthy… breakfast.

Despite their being a mortal threat for white people –and their hands– avocados have come a long way on this side of the Rio Grande, thanks mainly to hipsters, millennials and the like. But now, it’s almost as if it’s bad for your health not to eat these things, at least as far as the people selling them are concerned.

Citing latest research, the Avocado Board has come to the conclusion that eating avocados for breakfast has resulted in “heart health benefits for adults” and that you should be eating avocados for breakfast or will soon get a heart attack or something.

Well, as a non-millennial, non-hipster Mexican who actually grew up in Mexico eating avocados NOT for breakfast but in my tacos de carnitas and such, I do not support these findings, nor the avocraze that has gotten way out of hand. 

Via: PR Newswire

Greetings from Paris, Home of the Mayonnaise au Chipotle

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Awwww Paris…

There is nothing like spending some quality time in the City of Lights, with its beautiful architecture, ubiquitous cafés, gorgeous boulevards… and authentic taquerías.

Behold Chiquitin, the newest addition to Rue Henry Monnier (this blog’s temporary headquarters). The 10×10 meter changarrito is the take-away petit branch of Luz Verde, just across the street, and it features all sorts of salsas, including old time favorites like roja, verde and pico de gallo, but other more inventive like mayonnaise au chipotle, césar and –wait for it– salsa matcha.

I haven’t eaten here –yet– as I’m currently busy getting reacquainted with dry pork goods (saucisson sec, rosette de Lyon, etc.) and liters of wine, but I’ll get to it at some point and will be sure to report back.

Oh, did I mention the 16-euro ceviche and the 9-euro tacos al pastor?

Mon dieu!

Photos: Laura Martínez, 22 Rue Henry Monnier, December 2018.