Category: Politics

Proud American Sets up GoFundMe Campaign to Finance Trump’s Wall… Because Why the Hell Not?

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Holy chicharrones!

I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

Trump supporter Brian Kolfage has set up a GoFundMe page to raise funds for Trump’s border wall because “President Trump’s main campaign promise was to BUILD THE WALL. And as he’s followed through on just about every promise so far, this wall project needs to be completed still.”

At press time, Mr. Kolfage’s campaign had raised nearly $5 million (YES 5 millones de dolaritos) from over 78,000 (presumably very dumb) people.

Oh, America… What has happened to you?!

The ‘MEXICO WILL PAY FOR THE WALL’ Jumpsuit is Now $29.95 on Amazon

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Remember that infamous Toys R Us store in Portugal?

Well, now you can add another wall-related product to a growing list of nonsensical merchandise.

Just in time for Christmas 2018, there’s the MEXICO WILL PAY for the wall zip-up jumpsuit, currently on sale on Amazon.com for only $29.95 or less!

WARNING: This thing is made of 90 percent Nylon and 10 percent spandex, which will be just perfect for hanging around with your friends at a Halloween party –as long as it doesn’t take place on a United flight.

Sign me up for a few of these, Amazon. I’m going to have some real fun during my next trip to Mexicou!.

Via: The Huffington Post

Good News, Mexicans! Republicans Will Crowdfund the Wall

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It’s no secret that my people (i.e. The Mexicans) are busy trying to pick one president out of a pathetic choice of four candidates, so we haven’t really thought about that other little pendiente of ours: Saving up to pay for Donald Trump’s border wall.

But it looks like this will not be our problem anymore. Rep. Diane Black (R-Tenn) has introduced the Border Wall Trust Fund Act, which would “allow the secretary of the Treasury to accept public donations to fund the construction of a barrier on the border between the United States and Mexico, and for other purposes.” Think of something like a Kickstarter for haters.

Black (who is running for governor of Tennessee) recently told Fox News that she would like to see Mexico pay for “the structure,” but at least for now, crowdfunding will have to do.

So, grassy ass, señorita Black! Tacos are on me!

Via: The Hill

The Deportation Bus Might be My Free Ticket Back to Mexicou!

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Photo by Ana Clavel on Facebook

If you thought American politicians had run out of ideas to get rid of those pesky Mexicans, think again.

I give you The Deportation Bus, a moving campaign ad for GOP Georgia governor candidate Michael Williams, who is running on a promise of getting rid of all “those illegals.”

According to The Hill:

“We’re not just going to track them and watch them roam around our state,” Williams says. “We’re going to put them on this bus and send ‘em home.”

I mean, I’m not precisely an “illegal,” but given the current political here, a free ride back to Mexico doesn’t sound like a really bad idea right now.

AMLO’s ‘Sharp Critique’ of Trump –and Trump’s Wall, now Available in English

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Mexican presidential candidate Andrés Manuel López Obrador is running on an odd platform, enlisting politicians from all walks of life (and political positions) to his campaign. And while his politics and rhetoric have pretty much divided the country, there is one thing he has in common with millions of Mexicans: His contempt for President Trump –and his proposed border wall.

And now, in hopes of making his message get across the border, his 2017 book has been translated into English.

I have not read this thing –nor I’m sure if I’ll ever do it, but according to an enthusiastic morning press pitch: ¡Oye, Trump! Saying Yes to a New Start for Mexico, Saying No to a Wall (OR Books) presents a “no-holds-barred condemnation of corruption in his own country and a sharp critique of what he regards as the baleful influence of the United States in Mexican politics, especially under the Trump presidency.”

Peña Nieto Rebukes Trump in Video Message –Hilarity Ensues

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Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto, on Thursday, blasted Donald Trump in a video message, vowing that “nothing and no one stands above the dignity of Mexico” and adding basically that: “If your recent statements are the result of frustration due to domestic policy issues, to your laws or to your Congress, it is to them that you should turn to, not to Mexicans.”

Here’s Peña Nieto’s original tweet:

The response was pretty unusual, really, and Mexicans took to Twitter to express solidarity with their president but also some hilarious takes on the whole thing.

Here are only some of my favorite ones; I’ll be updating this as I see more (I gotta work, you know?)

You’re so cute when you’re mad

When EPN Defends Mexicans

 

Trump’s Reaction?

Lo que el viento a Juárez, Basically

Time to Fight for your Leader

In a Nutshell

And the Best Tweet of them all …

 

 

Woman Running DHS Says Replacing Current Sections of Border Wall Counts as New Wall 🙄

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Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen this week met with reporters to mumble something about Trump’s Big Beautiful Wall (TBBW.)

In a nutshell, Ms. Nielsen wants us to know is that expanding and/or enhancing Obama’s border fence should count as a new wall, because that’s how this administration rolls. I don’t really know what the hell she’s talking about, but it doesn’t matter either because nothing makes any sense anymore.

WATCH. Weep. Do NOT repeat.

Emma González Is a National Treasure –and the Haters are Here

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Wearing a green olive jacket featuring several patches, including one of the Cuban flag, Emma González delivered a gut-wrenching speech at the “March for Our Lives” on March 24, 2018.

Unless you live under a rock (or maybe you’re busy celebrating National Greek Independence Day) you probably have read by now that millions of people took to the streets on Saturday March 24, 2018 to say ¡basta! to the NRA –and the politicians who take their money in the name of defending the Constitution or some BS like that.

While I joined the thousands that took to the streets in New York City, a young woman in Washington, D.C. delivered the most gut-wrenching speech of them all. It was Emma González, a senior at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, who stood on the stage for a full 6 minutes and 20 seconds… the length of the Parkland shooting.

“Six minutes and about twenty seconds. In a little over six minutes, 17 of our friends were taken from us, 15 were injured, and everyone, absolutely everyone, was forever altered,” she began. She spoke for a little under two minutes and then she said nothing for the remaining four minutes and change.

WATCH it here:

Upon seeing her speech over and over again, most of which was dominated by a powerful silence, I couldn’t help but notice the little Cuban flag she wore on her olive green jacket and thought it would be a matter of time until the haters would go after her for that.

Well, it happened about 18 hours later, when the group known as “Hispanics for Trump” Tweeted the following.

Haters gonna hate

I’m sure the hate has only just begun and we’ll see shit tons of it in the days and months to come. But none of that will matter to this blogger who –for once– has some kind of hope in the future of this country.

He dicho.

Donald Trump Goes to the U.S.-Mexico Border. Hilarity Ensues

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President Trump had the “brilliant” idea to visit San Diego to inspect several design prototypes for his proposed wall along the U.S.-Mexico border.

As I’m writing this, Mr. Trump was still at the border meeting with border patrol officers and wall-enthusiasts, so this post is only a taste of what’s to come.

Please check back later, as this post will be updated throughout the day with some of the most hilarious reactions to the visit, including –ahem, ahem– my very own (because, really, if I don’t laugh at my own jokes, who will?)

These people…

Go do something useful…

The Mexicans are OK

El Bisnes es el Bisnes

And the funniest thing that started it all!😂😂

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.jsPhoto via Reuters

New York City’s New School Chancellor Is a Professional Mariachi. No, Really.

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If everything else fails, Richard Carranza can always go back to serenading las muchachas. ¡Ajúa!

From the Archives of I Could Not Make This Thing Up if I Tried comes Richard Carranza, the recently appointed New York City Schools Chancellor, who took a very unsual approach when discussing his new job with Mr. De Blasio and wife: He serenaded them with mariachi song María Elena.

His background is plain awesome. Per the [failing] New York Times:

At Monday’s news conference, Mr. Carranza said he had been a mariachi musician since he was about 6 years old. When he wanted to stay up late with his father and his uncles, they said the only people staying up late were people playing instruments — so he learned to play the guitar. He later worked his way through college at the University of Arizona “gigging,” as he put it on Monday.

Now you know. If running our disastrous public school system turns out to be too much for this fellow Mexican, he can always go back to serenading las muchachas. ¡Ajúa!

Just WATCH:

Via: New York Times

Mexicans Are Furious about Hat-Wearing Jalapeños from Turkey

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These babies are Mexican, say Mexicans

Add jalapeños to the long list of grievances against my people (i.e. The Mexicans.)

In the latest episode of a trade war brewing between Mexico and the European Union, Mexican producers of chile peppers are asking the UE for protection of fresh jalapeño chiles –and those that undergo smoking (ie. delicious chipotles.)

The problem?

Chiles from Turkey are sold in Europe with a label showing a jalapeño pepper wearing a Mexican hat, said Jesús Murillo González, but do not state the country of origin. “They’re not saying it’s from here, but they’re riding the coattails of Mexico’s prestige.”

Hey, I’m totally cool with countries riding the coattails of Mexico’s prestige but… putting a sombrero over a jalapeño?! That’s simply unacceptable –and an insult to our 1986 beloved FIFA mascot

Via: Milenio

Justin Trudeau Goes to Mexico; Hilarity Ensues

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A bromance months in the making…

It was brief –and hilarious.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau this week visited Mexico, partly to address the bilateral agenda, discuss the future of the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA,) and –very likely– to discuss El Loco.

But at some point, during a speech to the Mexican senate, a photographer captured the above image, which of course was crafted into beautiful meme art form.

As I said yesterday: Mexican Twitter never disappoints, so here are only a few of the many images that made the rounds on Twitter Friday afternoon after the great @Vampipe invited his followers to chip in their own ideas.

Mexicans: How can anyone NOT like us?

Amor del bonito

@SoyElPoblano

Pecado original

@Hoyanosoyo

50 Shades of Grey

@Untalfilip

Brokeback Mountain

@hectortorresa

En Guanajuato, of course

@SpiderManChoco

Oh.. and this Headline