If you are going to re-launch a television network and call it something really unusual (say, nuvo TV) you might as well want to position it as the voice of the new “Amerca,” because that would just make perfect sense.
God bless, Amerca
U.S. to Visa Lottery Winners: ¡Lástima, Margarito!
If you were among the 22,000 chosen people to receive a green card through the process known as the U.S. visa lottery, you’d better put that bottle of champagne down. Due to a “computer glitch,” the results of a green card visa lottery on May 1 have been ruled invalid.
According to the U.S. State Department, a computer error meant that 90% of the winners had been selected from the first two days of applications rather than from the whole 30-day registration period. In a brief statement, U.S. officials simply said:
“We sincerely regret any inconvenience or disappointment this problem might have caused.”
Or, as Johnny Latino would have told his eternal game-show loser guest: ¡Láaaaastima, Margarito!
Cocaine, Tortilla Dough… Same Difference
Are you planning on wondering about the U.S. with a sack full of tortilla dough? Be ready to spend some days in the slammer.
Take Antonio Hernandez, 45, who last week was arrested and charged with possession of 91 pounds of cocaine after police officers -alerted by a narcotics dog- took him to the Buncombe County Jail in North Carolina. Per the local news:
“Deputies said Carranza appeared intoxicated, though he was later deemed sober by a Breathalyzer test. They said a narcotics dog alerted officers to check Carranza’s baggage, and multiple narcotics field tests determined that the substances were cocaine.”
Hernández actual cargo? Tortilla dough, cooking flour and shrimp.
Gee, officers? Can’t you tell the difference between one thing and the other? I’m going to have to get you passes for a free visit to your nearest Maseca plant. Stay tuned.
The Beatles Pay Homage to El Chicharito [Sort of]
I always thought El Chicharito would be big in England, but I never imagined he would be THIS big…
Guadalajara Goes Gaga With the Lady
God know what language this is, but it’s called Americano; it sounds cool and hey! she’s against Arizona’s SB1070 so that’s all that matters.
Watch her singing it for the first time.
Gmail Wants me to Find Some Mexican Nalgas
Sure, I correspond often with Mexican people and write tons of emails about Mexican stuff with my Mexican buddies, but I don’t think I have ever been in need of Mexican nalgas, as Gmail is so eager to help me find (click on the image above to amplify.)
I mean, I’m all up for targeted advertising, but this is just unacceptable… If Gmail really knew me, it should be start helping me find a good pair of French ones.
Gee!
Gaga Goes to Mexico. Hates U.S. Immigration Laws
Say what you will about the Gaga Lady. She knows her politics.
During a recent news conference in Mexico City, where she is promoting her new album, the singer made sure to speak her mind about her country’s immigration laws, particularly Arizona’s SB1070.
“I don’t stand by many of those unjust immigration laws in my country,” Lady Gaga told the Mexican media at a fancy Mexico City hotel.
Alas, I’m not sure my people actually paid attention. The 29-year-old was saying all this clad in a see-through blue dress that barely covered her nipples and seated on top of a shiny hot rod motorcycle, which I’m sure made more than one person’s mind wonder about all sorts of things… and not necessarily immigration-related.
Happy Cinco de Mayo, Vatos! Here’s How to Fix Yourselves an Authentic Mexican Meal
For those of you who think I’m only bitching about advertising and cannot say anything good about anything anymore… Here is what I consider a truly great piece of advertising… and one that is perfect for your Cinco de Mayo bash, which should be starting about now!
Hat tip: Adictivo Magazine
Today is Star Wars Day, so This Blogger is Celebrating
Is Obama Dead or Still at Large?
Somebody is going to have to help this over-informed blogger.
On the one hand, a newspaper in Ciudad Victoria, Tamaulipas is telling me the U.S. has killed Obama. But some “journalist” on this side of the border, informs me Obama bin Laden is still at large.
Can somebody please clarify? I am very confundida
Hat tip: Carlos Gutiérrez
What if Osama Bin Laden Had Been Mexican?
As is usually the case with some major news developments, it took my fellow Mexicans very little time to start mocking the whole Osama bin Laden-capture-death thing.
Barely hours after President Obama delivered the news of Bin Laden’s death on Sunday, the hashtag #siosamafueramexicano (If Osama had been Mexican) became a major trending topic on Twitter México.
Among this blogger’s favorite:
If Osama bin Laden had been Mexican, we would have killed him tomorrow…
p.s. The picture on the left is from an actual Algebra book by Aurelio Baldor this blogger grew up studying with.
No kidding [and no wonder I suck at Algebra.]
Beware the Itinerant Vaccinator
Obama Courts ‘Influential Hispanics,’ Fails to Invite this Blogger to White House Gathering
President Barack Obama is smart enough to know that it takes more than eating a burrito and posing next to some Mariachi-clad dude to court U.S. Hispanics. That is why, POTUS this week lured a bunch of “influencial” Hispanics to the White House, including retro-acculturated food-entrepreneur Eva Longoria and radio personality -and former “undocumented Mexican” Eddie “Piolin” Sotelo.
As always, I appreciate the effort, but Mr. Obama should add this blogger to his list next time if he really wants to effect change.
I might not have Longoria’s artistic qualities has, but I have rubbed elbows with the British monarchy.
Here is the official photo of the event. See how many ‘influential Hispanics’ you can recognize.
Photo: WhiteHouse.gov
If This Doesn’t Get Me on the ‘Special Guest’ List at the Royal Wedding, I Don’t Know What Will
My friends think it’s too late, but I still think El Chicharito and myself have a pretty good chance of making it to the April 29th event.
I will keep you posted.
P.S. And no; this is not Photoshoped. I met this gentleman during my years as a scholar at the United World College of South East Asia, and I’m happy to report the original image still graces the walls at my mom’s place in Mexico City.
Pure Street Poetry… Mexico City Style
The area around our local hospital in San Pedro de los Pinos, with the busy ins and outs of sick people, nurses, doctors and equipment providers is also a hotbed for food entrepreneurs.
How can anyone not love Mexico?
Photo: Laura Martínez
MI BLOG ES TU BLOG 