Grupo Televisa Launches Netflix-Like Service in Mexico; Hilarity Ensues

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Mexican media giant — and Univision partner in [programming] crime — this week announced the launch of Blim.com, an OTT service á la Netflix.

Per the official announcement, the service is expected to cost $6.05 per month (which is roughly many, many, many pesos) and feature “relevant, Spanish-language programming targeting users in Mexico and Latin America.”

Mexicans promptly took to Twitter to share their “enthusiasm” around this thing. NOT.

Here are only a few examples of what Mexico twitteratti is saying about Blim.com

 

“Everyone is making money on the Internet; except us!” — Televisa introducing Blim.com

 

My friend, Azcárraga. Congrats on Blim; you do know what young viewers really want to watch on the Internet.

 

My phone is so smart, it will not install Blim

 

Or … does it only work on Alcatel phones?

Al parecer #Blim sólo funciona en dispositivos Alcatel.

This survey

 

Ironies aside, there are some tuiteros, including God himself, who think Blim can be a success. But three things must happen first: 

1. Better programming

2. Better pricing

3. Netflix must disappear

 

Having Run out of Ideas, Univision Steals Ice Bucket Challenge Idea to Support its Own Cause: TeletonUSA

Screenshot by Laura Martínez
Screenshot by Laura Martínez

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you must have noticed that everybody and their abuela have -for some reason- taken an unusual interest in fighting ALS by challenging one another to take the Ice Bucket Challenge, dumping a bucket of ice water on their heads.

Ok, so fine. Everybody wants their 30 seconds of fame while pretending to care about a noble cause. Nothing wrong with that, I guess, but the Ice Bucket craziness has gotten so out of control, that Univision has jumped on it; not to donate to ALS, but to its own cause: the Televisa/Univision sanctioned TeletonUSA, an annual 24-plus-hour TV and radio broadcast to raise money for children’s rehabilitation centers.

Per an Aug. 21, 2014 tweet by Univision Sports anchor Félix Fernández, a donation of US$200 was deposited to the account of the Alcancía Digital (aka as the official account of TeletonUSA) upon taking the now famed Ice Bucket Challenge live, on camera and narrated by none other than Univision’s own Perro Bermúdez. [Watch the video here]

Here’s the original tweet by Univision Sports commentator Felix Fernández touting the deposit upon taking the Challenge, making it very clear that the funds were not deposited to ALS but to TeletonUSA.

I guess at this point everyone is entitled to dump cold water on their head and support whatever the hell they feel like supporting. I, for one, will take a freezing shower right now, just to clear my head from so much Internet silliness.

Televisa Wants Gringos to Get Hooked on Telenovelas, Too

Not content with having befuddled generations of Latin Americans worldwide, Grupo Televisa now wants gringos to get hooked on its nightly dramas.

As it turns out, the Mexico City-based media giant is the producer behind Hollywood Heights, an English-language telenovela inspired in the early 1990’s hit Alcanzar una Estrella.

Hollywood Heights, premiered June 8 on Nickelodeon and this blogger cannot wait to not watch.

Which TV Network is the ‘Hispanic Hollywood’? Executives Managed to Confuse this Blogger

Hispanic TV upfront week is a wonderful thing, especially when you get the chance to hear all kinds of wonderful pitches by competing networks.

Tuesday morning, for example, I learned from Univision’s President César Conde that Televisa is actually the Hollywood of Hispanics, which was, like, ‘oh, how cool,’ or whatever … Yet, barely five hours later, in another theatre not far from there, Telemundo’s COO Jacqueline Hernández came onstage to give us this…

WTH? I mean, it’s OK to treat journalists with bellinis for breakfast and non-stop bashes for four days straight, but please don’t confuse us even more with these stunts. I yet have to figure out which the real “Hispanic Hollywood” really is, but I have a very stubborn resaca to take care of first.

So please bear with me, and I promise to find an answer for you real soon… or not.

Latinas to Shine in Primetime [As Maids, of Course]

Not long ago, this was only a dream. But now the dream has come true!

Famed TV producer Marc Cherry is finally working on the pilot for Devious Maids, which will follow the “adventures” of four Latina housekeepers in Beverly Hills.

Devious Maids is based on the Televisa sitcom La alegría del hogar, but the gringo version is sure to feature a group of well-proportioned Latina housekeepers who speak with a heavy accented, though grammatically correct, English.

And guess who will producing the thing? Why, my favorite Latina ever! The multi-talented Eva Longoria (aka La Prieta Faya)

This blogger cannot wait to see what these ladies’ “adventures” will be all about, but I can only hope the show will touch on some of the hot-button issues: Earning the minimum wage; working 80 hours a week; getting by without health insurance and living in constant fear of deportation.

U.S. Hispanics Brace for the Ominous Advent of Laura… [And it’s not Me]

U.S. Hispanics, rejoice: Starting today (Feb. 7) Laura Bozzo’s Laura talk show will launch on the TeleFutura network.

Bozzo has been torturing entertaining Latin American families for years, first in her native Peru (where not even a three-year house arrest took her show off the airwaves) and then on Mexico’s TV Azteca, with Laura de Todos. But this time, la señorita Laura is coming to the U.S. courtesy of Grupo Televisa, Univision’s partner and programming supplier.

The new show, which in Mexico is called Laura de México promises U.S. Hispanics a showcase of “real-world” family situations and, hopefully, some more avenging fights and coming out dramas exposing -and embarrassing- Latin America’s minimally-educated, lower classes like the one shown below.

Aren’t you glad television is embracing diversity?

Landon Donovan Tries to Trick the Mexican Migra

Before you cringe -and call the Latino stereotype police, I’d like to tell you that the following ad -pitching Grupo Televisa’s Gana Gol lottery game- was created, written and filmed in Mexico… by Mexicans.

And no, I don’t think it’s offensive. [I actually find it funny, especially when Donovan calls the border agent “leeeeero”… ja, ja, ja.]

[https://youtu.be/A6zsw2rec6Q]