Are you still in lockdown, on a tight budget for fancy avocados and still haven’t made any “ethnic-looking” friends?
You can now buy 5-feet-tall Mexican “scene setters,” ready to assemble and give your Super Bowl party a unique fiesta touch. It’s as easy as bashing a piñata! Besides, with the pandemic still in full swing, WHO NEEDS REAL PEOPLE AROUND, ANYWAY?
For only a few bucks, you can pretend to have real Mexicans at your birthday, bautizo, quinceañera, wedding, etc. These Insta-Mexicans are over 5 feet high; they won’t eat all the tamales, nor gulp all the beer or crash in your living room forever.
So, what are you waiting for? Go get your Instant Mexicans ahorita mismo!*
*I bet these are totally Made in China, but just pretend you didn’t read this note at all.
Worry not! Canine Carry Outs has exactly what you’re looking for. I give you Taco Minis, “a soft and chewy dog snack with the look and taste of miniature beef tacos.”
Now, I shouldn’t get into the whole specifics about what a “taco” actually entails, but the creators of this taco-treat-canine-wonder assure me these dog treats are “the perfect size and texture for treating as part of a balanced diet.”
So what are you waiting for? Get your perro some of these and wait for it to start barking in Mexican!
Remember the Baby Yoda Rosca de Reyes? Well, it was only a matter of time until a very creative Mexican entrepreneur came up with the February-Candelaria Tamalorian sequel.
Let me explain. Many of you might not know that Candlemas (i.e. El Día de la Candelaria) is celebrated each February in Mexico by dressing up Baby Jesus and eating tamales like there is no tomorrow. Said tamales (mind you) are supposed to be provided by the same person who got the plastic Baby Jesus in their rosca on January 6.
I know, it’s … complicated, but bear with me.
The point I’m trying to make is that there is a new Star Wars-themed Rosca-Candelaria kid in town: Meet the Tamalorian, the galactic offspring of Baby Yoda Rosca de Reyes, inspired in your favorite Mandalorian character.
These beauties are the creation of Super Roscas, a Mexico City pastry shop and come in several flavors: Baby, Chuby, Oscuro, Arturo and Tamalorian.
Filing under, Mexicans: How Can Anyone Not Like Us?
As Mexicans prepare to celebrate Candlemass next week (February 2,) a wave of new options to dress up your Baby Jesus has emerged. And because Baby Jesus Doctor is no longer enough, what about Baby Jesus Doctor Covid or Baby Jesus Taquero?
So. Many. Options!
P.S. For those who asked, Candlemas (or Día de la Candelaria) commemorates the ritual purification of Mary 40 days after the birth of Jesus, which in Mexico pretty much boils down to two things: Dressing up your Baby Jesus in your favorite costume *and* eating tamales like there is no tomorrow.
Filing under Mexicans: How Can Anyone Not Like Us?
Thank you, @natyvaro1, for your TikTok highlighting a restaurant in Coahuila, Mexico that specializes in Dinosaur-shaped quesadillas. These beauties are shaped like adorable little dinosaurs and (yes, you guessed it) some of them even have cheese inside! (pardon the private joke.)
Founded by Abraham Padilla, Dino Quesadillas features cheesy Triceratops, Tyrannosaurus Rex and other prehistoric creatures of your preference.
Oh, and they’re only like $5.03 USD for an order of three.
I’m too old to remember Fusion, the short-lived, multimillion joint effort between Univision and ABC to craft English-language content for U.S. Latinos (now mostly known as “Latinx.”) We all know that didn’t go anywhere, but now Telemundo is giving it another shot with the launch of Tplus, a “new content brand” to serve the full spectrum of U.S. Hispanics as part of its effort to grow Peacock subscribers.
According to media reports, the new brand will initially be available on the Peacock Premium tier, with content programmed for what the company refers to as “the 200%ers”: audiences who are 100% American and 100% Latinx.
In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Romina Rosado (who somehow was identified as “Rosada,” throughout the article) said Tplus “is meant to resonate with U.S.-based Hispanic viewers who tend to skew younger and are, therefore, digitally native.”
I don’t know, man, seems like Big Media keeps throwing stuff to see what sticks and I’m just getting too old and tired to follow up -or even care.
Before you go all crazy on me, let me clarify one thing: I did not invent the above awesomeness –of course. I have been busy taking siestas, eating tacos (throwing tacos at people) and sipping tequila (I’m Mexican, remember?) to be working on such an elaborate work of art.
Thank God I have the entire World Wide Web working for me to serve you people better. I might not be blogging much to be hones, but if you really miss me, you know what to do: JUST Go here and have fun!
So, without further ado: ¡Feliz Navidad! ahead of time; to get this out of the güey, because right now it’s time for this.