Taco Bell Launches Wine to Pair with your Toasted Cheesy Chalupa

It’s called Jalapeño Noir and at least they succeeded in putting an ‘eñe’ where it belongs.

Not content with having desecrated tacos, quesadillas and the like, Taco Bell has its eyes on destroying yet another one of this blogger’s favorite things: Alcoholic beverages.

Turns out the ubiquitous American “food” chain is launching Jalapeño Noir, a new red wine to pair with your Cheesy Chalupa, because… WHY THE HELL NOT?

Fortunately for this blogger, this thing is only being released in Canada and is tied to Taco Bell Canada’s introduction of the new Toasted Cheesy Chalupa [don’t ask.] Per an unnecessarily long press release: “The new chalupa variation features six-month aged sharp cheddar cheese toasted onto the iconic chalupa shell to create a crispy blanket of flavour and texture” which should pair well with “notes of wild strawberry, cherry and beetroot in this silky limited-edition red wine.”

OK, pinche 2020, make it stop now!

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising, Pinches Hipsters, Stupid propositions, Tacos | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

What on Earth is ‘Authentic Latin Flavor?’

latin2

I’m going to need some help here… Anybody?

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Marketing & Advertising, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Mexican Independence Celebrations are Here… Stay Safe, my Friends. Wear a Mex Mask!

Going to celebrate ‘El Grito’? Don’t leave home without them

I know we cannot wait for all the food, drinking and piñatas coming our way this September, but the pinche coronavirus is still with us, people, so please plan accordingly and #WearADamnMask.

 

Posted in Awkard homages, Fashion, Latin America, Mexico, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Biden Campaign Launches the ‘Todos con Biden’ Salsa Because Latinos Love to Salsa

The ‘Todos con Biden’ salsa is the latest effort to appeal to my dancing-loving fellow Hispanics.

If you have been paying attention, you’ll know by now that Latinos understand things better if they come in the form of music, whether it is to inform us about the perils of coronavirus; to let us know how great things would be under Bernie Sanders or how disappointed my people are with Donald Trump.

And so in keeping with the tradition, the Biden campaign has released the Todos con Biden salsa, a 3:30 minute long Spanish-language song with some “inspirational” words to help pitch the message of abuelito Joe among my people (i.e. The Latinos). Performed by Ander DeFrank (aka El Negro que Canta) the song kicks off by telling us that a Biden presidency will restore the nation by doing several things, including extending access to education and put an end to detention centers at the border, among many others.

For the monolingual, the chorus goes kind of like this…

Biden, Biden is the safe road

Let’s walk together, hand in hand

All for one, one and for all 

Biden, Biden

Biden is a serious, honest and trustworthy man…

You get the drill. Now WATCH (if you can endure the 3-plus minutes of this thing; I’m off to make myself a drink.)

Posted in 2020 U.S. Presidential Campaign, Awkard homages, Corridos, Latin America, Marketing & Advertising, Politics, Spanish, Stupid propositions, You Tube | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

How to NOT Market your ‘Mexican-Flavored’ Snacks

Spanish food conglomerate Frit Ravich might want to learn how to use mexicanismos when marketing their “Mexican-flavored” snacks.

According to the packaging of these Mexican-flavored sunflower seeds, the taste of these babies will leave you shaking your maracas and playing your guitar while feeling … well, a bit stupid. You know? Because Mexicans!

Hat tip: Ñam Ñam Barcelona

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Guacala, Language, Latin America, Marketing & Advertising, Mexico, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Joe Biden Taps Ranchera Singer to Tell Latinos He’s Had it with Donald Trump

Joe Biden –and El Potrillo– are very disappointed in you, Mr. Trump!

Mexican singer Alejandro Fernandez (aka El Potrillo) is lending his star wattage to Joe Biden’s White House bid.

A 60-second, Spanish-language spot which debuted this week in several markets, shows video footage of people and children behind bars as a result of Trump’s family separation policy, set against audio clips of Trump promising to build a wall and describing immigrants as invaders. “They’re bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists,” Trump says, a quote from his speech launching his presidential campaign in 2015.

All of this is shown while a heart-felt rendition of Decepciones plays in the background, telling my people (i.e. The Hispanics) that Biden and –El Potrillo himself– have had it with Donald Trump.

According to media reports, the new spot will air on television and radio in both Las Vegas and Reno is part of the campaign’s $280 million paid media reservation announced in early August.

¡Ay, dolor!

Via: CNET en Español

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Domino’s Launches Chicken Taco Pizza Because 2020

2020 strikes again

2020 strikes again.

Domino’s Pizza decided it was a good idea to launch a “chicken-taco pizza,” a hideous combination of grilled chicken, cheese, onions, tomatoes, green peppers and –what else?– taco seasoning.

“We’re excited to add even more options to our lineup of delicious specialty pizzas,” said Art D’Elia, Domino’s executive vicepresident, apparently with a straight face, in a press release.

As the pizza chain explains, “the flavors are based on foods that –unlike pizza– typically don’t deliver well. For example, if you order tacos, there’s a chance they’ll be soggy by the time they arrive at your door. Same with burgers.” Tsssssss….

I can’t, really I just literally can’t.

 

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising, Stupid propositions, Tacos | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Latinos for Trump Want you to Feed Goya Adobo to your Dog

This dog is innocent!

Remember the Goya Foods brouhaha and how the entire Trump family went bananas promoting Goya beans even in the White House?

Well, the whole thing has become a golden opportunity for the Latinos for Trump crowd, who are sooooo excited they’re even using their furry friends to peddle the stuff.

Listen: I don’t care if the entire Trump family –and their supporters– stuff themselves to death on Goya beans and adobo, but as the great @darth would say: THIS DOG IS INNOCENT!!!!

Photo via: Latinos for Trump

Posted in 2020 U.S. Presidential Campaign, Awkard homages, Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising, Politics, Racism, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Chile Relleno and Wavy Carnitas Street Taco Lay’s Chips are Here… Because 2020 Is a Cruel Year

And just because 2020 couldn’t punish us enough, Lay’s has decided to turn two iconic Mexican dishes into … snacks in a bag. Yes, my friends, I might have been too busy blogging about bad translations in Mexico to focus on what’s really important: Yet, another chapter in the desecration of Mexican food on this side of the border.

Sources close to this sad situation, tell me Lay’s “Wavy Carnitas Street Taco” have been inspired by El Torito restaurant in Los Angeles, while Lay’s “Chile Relleno” took their inspiration from Cocina Azul in Albuquerque.

Now if y’all excuse me; it’s only 9:30 a.m. but I think I’ll go have a María Sangrienta.

Photo via: BestFoods

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising, Mexico, Stupid propositions, Tacos | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

The Biden-Harris Campaign Wants us to Follow our Abuelas & Abuelos Advice

The Biden-Harris campaign this weekend launched its first joint campaign ad. It is a 30-second spot running across several platforms that kicks off entirely in Spanish, with a narrator saying “dime con quién andas, y te diré quién eres,” which translates to “tell me who you walk with, and I’ll tell you who you are.”

But because we’re talking about Spanish *and* the ever important Latino vote here, the narrator goes on to make his point even clearer by reminding us that is exactly what our abuelos and abuelas taught us.

Because Latinos, you know?

WATCH the spot below and remember: Always follow your abuela advice:

Via: CNET en Español

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The Hispanic Star Joins Nonsensical Trend of Putting an ‘Ñ’ where it Doesn’t Belong

Excuse me?

Remember that nonsensical trend of putting “eñes” where they don’t belong just to make something look –and sound– more authentically “Latino?”

Well, it looks like salsa makers and Hispanic journalists organizations are not alone in this thing. The latest to jump on the nonsensican “eñe wagon” (or should I say “wagoñ?”) is The Hispanic Star, a non-for-profit organization that seeks to “raise awareness of the contributions of the Hispanic community to the United States.”

According to its latest mailer, the Hispanic Star wants us to SAVE THE DATE and celebrate the 2020 Hipanic Heritage… Mñnth [SIC] which I believe it’s nonsense English for the word “month”.

I get it. As we approach the dreaded Hispanic Heritage Month, corporations, politicians and NGOs want to sound all cute and Latin in order to properly pander to my people, but how about learning first to put the “eñe” where it DOES belong? Like in “jalapeño?” for example?

Oh, and don’t get me started on #ItsPoblanoNotPoblaño

Posted in Awkard homages, Education, journalism, Language, Latin America, Marketing & Advertising, Spanish, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

The Mexican Tourism Office Wants you to Visit the Beautiful State of Warrior

Mom, I’m in Acapulco, Warrior

Ah… Mexico! Land of beautiful landscapes, beaches, mountains and … incompetent people running the government.

In the latest example of the train wreck the current administration is, the Website to promote tourism to Mexico (Visitmexico.com) has been translated into English or, rather, into what the Tourism Office thinks it’s the English language.

Not only an automatic translator was use to turn Guerrero into Warrier, but you can find other jewels including: Progress, Yucatán; Coal Village, State of Mexico and Four Ciénagas, Coahuila.

There are also other more cryptic ones, like “Juniper” or “Jumpsuit” to describe places I cannot even begin to imagine.

JFC! Can this administration get something right for once?

Via: Animal.mx

 

Posted in Latin America, Marketing & Advertising, Mexico, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

No, Sellers Bros., Jalapeños are not Mexican Squash


I’m not entirely sure why, but a Texas supermarket chain decided to jalapeñosplain what a chile jalapeño is by calling it “Fresh Mexican Squash.”

Really? After all these years in the USA I can safely say that both, Mexicans and non-Mexicans have a pretty clear idea of what a jalapeño is: a medium-sized chili pepper pod, which is widely used in Mexican and TexMex dishes (and even drinks!). If anything, a “Mexican squash” –at least for this blogger– would be nothing but delicious calabacitas my grandma used to prepare with ham, corn and sour cream when I was growing up in Mexico.

So, don’t try so hard, Sellers Bros: A jalapeño is a jalapeño is a jalapeño.

Photo via Reddit

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Marketing & Advertising, Mexico, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Pro-Trump Super PAC Thinks this Ad Is in Spanish

A Spanish-language pro-Trump TV ad running airing in Florida, has been highly criticized by democrats for its intent on “dividing Black and Latino communities over Joe Biden’s possible pick of a Black running mate.” What many have yet to see is that the Spanish copy in this thing is… a train wreck, with prepositions missing and made up words (Unidoes, Populacion, etc.)

I get it. I’m pretty sure the people behind the spot, namely the Committee to Defend the President, had a hard time finding an actual Spanish speaker to proofread their disastrous copy, but had they turned to Google Translate, I’m sure it would have done a much better job.

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COVID Taco Joint Serves Everything but Bat Tacos 🦠

Filing under “Mexicans: How Can Anyone Not Like Us?”

Photo via Reddit

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Latin America, Marketing & Advertising, Mexico, Tacos, Why I Love Mexico | Leave a comment