Why Kmart Needs to Hire a Competent, Bilingual Copywriter

Picture this. A two-piece comfy sofa; a soothing image of a lake and a small, deserted beach on the background; a pitcher of delicious ice-tea and then your lovely mom … sucking someone –or being sucked by someone– for some reason.

That is pretty much the takeaway for so many Spanish-speakers out there who could not help but notice the gaffe in Kmart’s latest Mother’s Day campaign. The problem here lies in the choice of the word Mamaste, which –apparently– is supposed to be a play on words between Mom & Namasté, inviting mothers to Find their happy place and relax on Mothers Day. But while Namasté might be a term well-known among the yoga community, Kmart would be well advised to consider what “Mamaste” actually means in Spanish.

OK, I get it. They don’t want to spend money on hiring pesky bilingual copywriters, but they could have just turned to Google Translate instead. I mean. It’s FREE! it’s easy; it’s right… there. How lazy are they?

Excuse-me?

And this is only the tip of the iceberg. As my friend J.C. Maya discovered, there’s even a book (on sale in Target) with the same title: Mamaste: Discover a More Authentic, Balance, and Joyful Motherhood from Within,

Now if y’all excuse me: HA HA HA HA HA HA (or as we say in good Spanish: JA JA JA JA)

Oh and did I mention these t-shirts?

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Posted in Awkard homages, Education, Language, Marketing & Advertising, Spanish, Stupid propositions | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Mexico Figures out the Best Way to Enforce Social Distancing

Should this be the case, I would totally keep way more than the 6 feet required.

In these times of pandemia, we all now know what social distancing (also called “physical distancing,”) means keeping space between yourself and other people outside of your home. To practice social or physical distancing, the CDC recommends to stay at least 6 feet (about two arms’ lenght) from other people and to avoid gathering in groups.

So far so good, but I’d rather follow the guidance of this chicken shop in Mexico, which basically states:

KEEP YOUR DISTANCE AS IF YOUR EX WAS IN LINE WITH THEIR NEW PARTNER

Mexicans: How can anyone not like us?

Photo vía Reddit

Posted in Latin America, Marketing & Advertising, Mexico, Spanish, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Top 10 Reasons Why We Know Jesus Was Mexican

mexJesus

1. His name was, well, Jesús

2. He was unjustly beaten up and condemned to death while the real criminal was set free

3. When his family went to visit his tomb, he was not there

4. He was surrounded by poor people [who just kept on multiplying]

5. He miraculously turned up alcohol at a party that only had water

6. At a last dinner with pals he did not pay the bill

7. He did not pay any taxes

8. He explained everything with parables

9. He was baptized by a religious relative

10. He got gifts by the Three Wise Men, not Santa Claus 

 

Posted in Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Snoop Dogg Drops Banda Single ‘Qué Maldición,’ Because it’s 2020 and Everything’s Weird

I don’t know what to think, really, but why not?

Snoop Dogg and Banda Ms on Friday released Qué Maldición, a long awaited collaboration between America’s famed pothead and the Sinaloa insanely popular band. It’s by far the weirdest Anglo-Latin collaboration I’ve seen in a long time and I’m not sure I’m 100 percent sold.

Watch & listen at your own peril. I’ll be somewhere still trying to figure out 2020.

Hat tip: The great Mafer

Posted in Awkard homages, Corridos, Language, Latin America, Latin celebrities, Mexico, Music, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Cinco de Mayo in the Time of Coronavirus Is Just as Dumb as Regular Cinco de Mayo

Shelter de Mayo? Shoot me I’m muerta

No access to the outside world? No problemo!

District Taco, a so-called taquería based in I-don’t-know-where-but-not-Mexico wants you to know that you can “take back your right to fiesta” by ordering the coronavirus-special sheltering in place combo: Delicioso steak fajitas, PLUS chips with your choice of two dips!

This, of course, is a promotion about this blogger’s favorite “Fake Mexican Fiesta” (FMF) aka Cinco de Mayo, which is just around the corner. ¡Ay!

Anyhow, hold onto your sombreros. The madness is about to begin!

Hat tip: Juan Escalante

 

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Marketing & Advertising, Stupid propositions, Tacos | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

If 2020 Was a Kitchen Gadget, it Would Be this ‘Taco Toaster’

This thing promises ‘crunchy goodnes,’ but it’s giving me a heart attack instead.

Move over $30-dollar Taco Toaster, here comes a less expensive, even more outrageous contraption to make what Americans think is a taco. I give you the … $22-dollar Made in California Taco Toaster, a plastic/metal mold thingy to hold your “taco” in place while you put it in a toaster –for some reason.

Worse than looking at this thing is reading the description of what it is and what it promises:

Creating a well-executed taco is an artform: salty black beans with sweet onions, blistery red peppers and corn, spicy guacamole, cooling Cotija–and best of all–a crunchy shell you can pile all this goodness into. This petite gadget lets you make crispy taco shells at home in your toaster, without any of the added oil like the ones you’d find in the grocery store.

Now if y’all excuse myself, I’ll go get drunk.

Via: Uncommon Goods

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising, Pinches Hipsters, Stupid propositions, Tacos | Leave a comment

A ‘Latin-Style Fiesta Pet-Parade’ Is Just What 2020 Was Missing

“OK, I’ll pose, but please don’t put me inside the piñata.”

What would you do to raise funds to help cute little furry friends in these times of crisis? Well, how about hosting a “Latin-style” pet parade and livestream it to the millions of suckers stuck at home trying to avoid getting coronavirus?

That is exactly what the San Antonio Humane Society will be doing on May 2. At approximately 3 p.m. local time, the society will livestream its annual Fiesta fundraising event, which helps raise funds to support local shelters, adoption and care programs in the area.

According to the local press, those who log on for the virtual fun can expect to enjoy a parade of “furry friends modeling sombreros and posing beside papier maché margaritas,” because apparently that’s what pets in San Antonio do.

I’m not sure the below canine looks particularly happy at the prospect of drinking a paper margarita, but then again, I’m not a pet person, so who knows?

“Make it quick, Jen, I feel totally ridiculous.”

Hat tip: Melissa Salas Blair; photos via: San Antonio Express News

Posted in Awkard homages, Fashion, Food, Marketing & Advertising, Stupid propositions, Texas | Leave a comment

Ever Wondered How UberEats Works in Mexico?

Yes, according to the Internet my very well-informed sources, this is a real UberEats delivery girl roaming the streets of Metepec, Estado de México delivering her wares in these times of quarantine.

I can’t see her face or her hands but I hope she’s wearing gloves and a facemask. In the meantime #StayHomeMéxico.

Via: Cronio.sv

Posted in Awkard homages, Corridos, Latin America, Marketing & Advertising, Mexico, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

We Must Stop Cauliflower Tortillas Before it’s Too Late

As if I didn’t have enough bad news these days, someone just mentioned Cauliflower, a Los Angeles-based company determined to “reinvent our favorite foods” with healthier options, including cauliflower rice, cauliflower chips and cauliflower pizza dough.

While I couldn’t care less about what they do to rice and pizza, they’re now proudly peddling the ¡Viva Cauliflower Tortilla! apparently because people really really needed a grain-free, cauliflower tortilla to wrap God knows what in them.

“Caulipower’s mission is to listen to what people want,” Gail Becker, founder and CEO of Caulipower, told Baking Business. “Like pizza, tortillas are beloved, versatile and a natural fit for us to create a better-for-you option.”

Listen, Gail, I’m sure you’re all healthy and all that, but who are you to say this is a better-for-me option? Last time I checked, my better-for-me-option was a deliciously greasy set of carnitas wrapped in –what else?– a double corn tortilla.

Besides, if you really really want a healthy meal, just go squash some cauliflower and roll things inside it, but don’t call these things tortillas if you don’t want me to throw a fit.

Thank you very much for your cooperation.

Photo via: Caulipower

Posted in Food, Guacala, Marketing & Advertising, Pinches Hipsters, Stupid propositions, Tacos | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

Mexico’s Top Health Official Is Now an Official Piñata, Because Mexico

Hugo López-Gatell as a piñata? Yes, please, thank you.

It is official: Hugo López-Gatell Ramírez, the Mexican deputy health minister in the frontlines of the fight against COVID-19 has been immortalized in a piñata from the famed Piñatería Ramírez in northern Mexico.

The López-Gatell piñata comes with –what else– a mini version of the coronavirus piñata and a sign with a very appropriate message in these times of pandemia: Quédate en casa (Stay home.)

As a Twitter follower wrote the other day: This is “as prestigious as having been inducted into the Mexican historical hall of fame.”

Posted in Awkard homages, Fashion, Latin America, Marketing & Advertising, Mexico, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Here’s The Star-Spangled Banner in Spanish Honoring Hispanics Fighting COVID-19

The Spanish translation of “The Star-Spangled Banner” was done by Clotilde Arias, a native of Peru.

Ever wondered what The Star-Spangled Banner sounds like in Spanish? Well, look no further than El Pendón Estrellado, the “only official Spanish-language translation” of the national anthem allowed to be sung, according to The Smithsonian.

The translation into Spanish of the National Anthem was done by Clotilde Arias, a Peruvian immigrant, during the Roosevelt administration, but is now being repurpused as part of a new campaign to honor Hispanic workers fighting COVID-19 across the United States.

The version you’re about to see is performed by Jeidimar Rijos, the 2019 winner of La Voz competition, and was commissioned by We Are All Human Foundation’s Hispanic Star, a non-for-profit organization that seeks to “raise awareness of the contributions of the Hispanic community to the United States.”

The campaign comes at a time when Hispanics –and other minorities– are being hit particularly hard by the epidemic. Only in New York City, for example, data shows that 34% of fatalities as of April 8 were within the Hispanic community, despite their making up only 29% of the city’s population. Nationwide, says Time magazine, Hispanic and Latinx Americans are also the largest uninsured group.

Via: Time.com

Posted in Awkard homages, Language, Latin America, Spanish | Leave a comment

The Brits Want you to Think this ‘Thing’ Is Mexican Food

Go home, London, you’re drunk

England, the country that gave us the Hey Ho to Mexico tortillas and El Mexicana is back at it again with a typically Mexican dish: paella –or as George Costanza would call it, pie-yay-yah.

Go home, Joe Gledhill, you’re drunk.

Photo via Imgur

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Today in Surreal Mexico: Social Distancing at the Combi Stop

I had promised myself to stop blogging about coronavirus, mostly because I live in New York City and everything is terrible and I keep having anxiety attacks over the whole thing. But then I’ve been facetiming, skype-ing and zooming a lot lately with family and friends in Mexico who send me the funniest memes, videos and jokes about the pandemia and then I smile again.

However, no meme or joke would ever come close to my country’s daily life struggles as the crisis intensifies, and the Mexican government plays catch up with the rest of the world in setting up guidelines and policies to contain the virus.

Take the above “heroes” on a colectivo stop, keeping a healthy distance in line just to end up all crammed up inside… of course, because Mexico.

Filing this under #SurrealMexico and #SusanaDistancia.

Photo via Reddit México

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Baby Tiger Born in Veracruz Named Covid, Because Mexico

Covid was born March 14 in Córdoba and he’s truly adorbs

Today, in the always popular section “Mexico in the time of coronavirus,” I give you Covid, a baby Bengal tiger born March 14 in a small zoo in Córdoba, Veracruz.

“Covid was born to an 8-year-old tigress that had been in a circus and was nursed back to health after needing an operation for a hip fracture,” zoo owner Gonzalo Rodriguez told Reuters.

So now you know it, my people not only make fun of death and calamities; we embrace them all the way.

Welcome to the world, sweet Covid…

Via: New York Post

Posted in Awkard homages, Latin America, Mexico, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Inspired by Mexico, a Chicago Bakery Is Now Making its Own Conchavirus

They look more like happy frogs, but it’s the intention that counts, right?

Well, that didn’t take long.

Barely a couple of days after this VERY INFLUENTIAL BLOG first reported on the Iztapalapa conchavirus, a small bakery in Chicago is now making their own version.

“We wanted to turn a negative into a positive one by creating my very own conchavirus,” Eddie Vázquez, executive pastry chef and owner at Rosy’s Bakery, told ABC News Chicago.

Fortunately for Mr. Vázquez, Chicagoans are so excited about they’re placing their orders by the dozen, and I still don’t know how they get the courage to go out, but that’s another story…

It’s not a secret that 2020 sucks, but –heck– it has been a good year for conchas.

Posted in Awkard homages, Food, Language, Latin America, Marketing & Advertising, Mexico, Why I Love Mexico | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment