It’s December 12, 2021 and I’m back in my beloved CDMX. Yes, I arrived just in time for the Guadalupe celebrations, and to kick off of a month-long taco/tostada/pozole/champurrado-filled Guadalupe-Reyes Marathon.
Alas, Sunday morning I woke up to the news of Vicente Fernández’ passing. Fernández, who once wrote a corrido for Hillary Clinton, was a beloved figure to many Mexicans, (i.e. not this blogger, though.) But I digress. My point is that I woke up to news of “Chente’s” passing by none other than The Washington Post, which tweeted: “Vicente Fernández, Cowboy King of Ranchera Music, Dies at 81.”
Cowboy King? Sure, Jan! The now-deleted tweet was retweeted by yours truly and started to get some traction until it was deleted a few minutes later. The corrected headline was changed to “Vicente Fernández, King of Ranchera Music, Dies at 81.”
But the fun was only starting. I began reading the actual piece only to see some priceless translations of some of Chente’s biggest hits:
“Volver Volver” somehow was translated as “Go Back, Go Back…”
…which, minutes later, and after Mexican tweeted couldn’t stop laughing, was corrected to read “Return Return….”
Hilarity ensued and I couldn’t love my followers any more:
Chances are this blogger will be terribly busy sleeping working on Saturday, July 4, but wanted to let y’all know, I’m all up for diversity. So, without further ado, please enjoy this rendition of The Star Spangled Banner by one of many of the awesome mariachi bands found in Chicago.
According to a very reliable source (i.e. Mexican Twitter) these cardboard “celebrities” exist — and coexist — at El Ocho, a restaurant in my beloved Mexico City (aka CDMX, though it will always be El DF to me.)
Trump supporter Brian Kolfage has set up a GoFundMe page to raise funds for Trump’s border wall because “President Trump’s main campaign promise was to BUILD THE WALL. And as he’s followed through on just about every promise so far, this wall project needs to be completed still.”
At press time, Mr. Kolfage’s campaign had raised nearly $5 million (YES 5 millones de dolaritos) from over 78,000 (presumably very dumb) people.
Well, now you can add another wall-related product to a growing list of nonsensical merchandise.
Just in time for Christmas 2018, there’s the MEXICO WILL PAY for the wall zip-up jumpsuit, currently on sale on Amazon.com for only $29.95 or less!
WARNING: This thing is made of 90 percent Nylon and 10 percent spandex, which will be just perfect for hanging around with your friends at a Halloween party –as long as it doesn’t take place on a United flight.
Sign me up for a few of these, Amazon. I’m going to have some real fun during my next trip to Mexicou!.
Mexican presidential candidate Andrés Manuel López Obrador is running on an odd platform, enlisting politicians from all walks of life (and political positions) to his campaign. And while his politics and rhetoric have pretty much divided the country, there is one thing he has in common with millions of Mexicans: His contempt for President Trump –and his proposed border wall.
And now, in hopes of making his message get across the border, his 2017 book has been translated into English.
I have not read this thing –nor I’m sure if I’ll ever do it, but according to an enthusiastic morning press pitch: ¡Oye, Trump! Saying Yes to a New Start for Mexico, Saying No to a Wall(OR Books) presents a “no-holds-barred condemnation of corruption in his own country and a sharp critique of what he regards as the baleful influence of the United States in Mexican politics, especially under the Trump presidency.”
Americans from all walks of life took to the streets Tuesday, Sept. 5, 2017 to protest Donald Trump’s cruelest decision to date: To kill DACA, a program implemented by the Obama administration that granted undocumented children protection from deportation as well as permits to be able to work legally in the US.
The decision sparked nationwide protests, including one outside the Trump Tower in the heart of New York City where dozens of protesters were arrested. Among the brave — and most hilarious — protesters was the woman above, who had a clear message for Donald Trump (or rather his Twitter handle.)
As a spicy member of such a collective, I can tell you that’s simply not true. But I do hope the Latinas that do support the president have had some time to brush up on their Spanish grammar skills. Last time I checked, they were proudly pitching themselves as Latinas para Trump, instead of the accurate Latinas por Trump.
Anyway: What’s with these people *and* their president’s lousy grammar?
Sick of bad news? I have some good news for you. No, actually I have some GREAT news for y’all.
Our Commander in Chief this week reiterated his promise to build a huge, beautiful wall along the Mexico-U.S. border. But unlike previous reports, it looks like this thing will not be your regular wall, ¡no señor!: It will be a solar wall, one that will create energy, and thus will pay for itself. That way, said the-man-who-shall-not-be-mentioned, “Mexico will have to pay much less money, and that’s good.”
But that is not good, it is SUPER good, because you know what “much less money” spent on the wall means, right? It means we’ll have extra cash for tacos, tamales, garnachas and the like. So, YAY!
A 34-year-old Mexican-American dude who brands himself “The Undeportable One” is such a fan of you-know-who that he decided to change his surname to… Trump. The move, mind you, was approved by a judge.
According to The Daily Mail:
“Heavily tattooed Ernesto Baeza Acosta filed a petition to change his name to Ernesto Trump, and called on the President to invite him to the White House.”
Apparently this dude is also into making videos (see one below) and in a recent one you can see him proudly saying:
“You can call me the undeportable one, you can call me the President’s son or you can call me Ernesto Trump.”
Oh, and just in case you were wondering: All this happened in — where else? — TEXAS!
Anyhow, I’m like super busy but must keep laughing…..
According to my sources (i.e. the World Wide Web) Mexican and U.S. brewers have gotten together to reinvent Donald Trump as a “gun-slinging mariachi” to promote Amigous, a beer supposed to “celebrate cross-border cooperation.” But the gun is only the beginning. From the little I could read, Trump’s trousers are held up with a swastika belt buckle, and the rear label of the beer informs the reader that the 71-year-old New Yorker belongs “in a mad house, not the White House.”
I am not going to spend too much time on talking about this thing, because 1) I’m super busy and 2) It’s almost impossible to keep up with all the marketing nonsense around our current administration and the dark, sad hole we’ve all fallen into.
OK, I get your rage, but before you go and vow to kill them all, I’d like for all of us to take a moment and realize that both — Mexico and the U.S. — have our share of morons, starting with the ones leading our respective nations, so really, can anyone blame us for being so obtuse?
I get the rage about the spring breakers, really, but before you go all crazy about them, go read this; then remember the 43 of Ayotzinapa; the blatant violations of human rights in Mexico and the dozens of filthy rich politicians who have vanished in thin air…. Then take a deep breath and maybe you’ll understand. We are all fucked, no matter which side of the border we live in.
Shame on us, really. All of us.
*OK, this happened in Cancún, which is arguably not Mexico anymore, but still…
Stephen Colbert on Friday compiled a team of experts — including an architect, an interior designer and a “concrete guy” — to come up with some rough estimates for Trump’s “big, strong, powerful, yuuuuge” wall.*
After concluding that the wall would have to be at least 100 feet tall, require at least 12,000 skilled laborers and result in roughly 4,800 casualties, Colbert put in a call to the Mexican consulate to see if Mexicans would foot the bill.
*Reminder: Trump has about 3 years and 11 months to complete construction if he wants to keep his campaign promise.