Category: 2016 presidential campaign

Vicente Fernández’ Washington Post Obituary Is Something Else

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Vicente Fernández died December 12, 2021 at 81. His Washington Post obituary is a thing of beauty.

It’s December 12, 2021 and I’m back in my beloved CDMX. Yes, I arrived just in time for the Guadalupe celebrations, and to kick off of a month-long taco/tostada/pozole/champurrado-filled Guadalupe-Reyes Marathon.

Alas, Sunday morning I woke up to the news of Vicente Fernández’ passing. Fernández, who once wrote a corrido for Hillary Clinton,  was a beloved figure to many Mexicans, (i.e. not this blogger, though.) But I digress. My point is that I woke up to news of “Chente’s” passing by none other than The Washington Post, which tweeted: “Vicente Fernández, Cowboy King of Ranchera Music, Dies at 81.”

Cowboy King? Sure, Jan! The now-deleted tweet was retweeted by yours truly and started to get some traction until it was deleted a few minutes later. The corrected headline was changed to “Vicente Fernández, King of Ranchera Music, Dies at 81.” 

But the fun was only starting. I began reading the actual piece only to see some priceless translations of some of Chente’s biggest hits:

“Volver Volver” somehow was translated as “Go Back, Go Back…”

…which, minutes later, and after Mexican tweeted couldn’t stop laughing, was corrected to read “Return Return….”

Hilarity ensued and I couldn’t love my followers any more:

¡Bravo!

 

This Man Has Made a Song about Topo Chico, Because Texas

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This gringo really, really likes Topo Chico

Robert Ellis, a Houston-native, has written a song about the deliciousness of…. Topo Chico, that other Mexican import that –along with avocados– has swept Americans off their feet.

The song is called –what else?– Topo Chico and it’s, well, an ode to the greatness that is a freshly-opened bottle of Topo Chico … with a little bit of lime.

Listen to this thing … if you dare.

Hat tip: Texas correspondent @lechancle

Proud American Sets up GoFundMe Campaign to Finance Trump’s Wall… Because Why the Hell Not?

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Holy chicharrones!

I couldn’t make this up if I tried.

Trump supporter Brian Kolfage has set up a GoFundMe page to raise funds for Trump’s border wall because “President Trump’s main campaign promise was to BUILD THE WALL. And as he’s followed through on just about every promise so far, this wall project needs to be completed still.”

At press time, Mr. Kolfage’s campaign had raised nearly $5 million (YES 5 millones de dolaritos) from over 78,000 (presumably very dumb) people.

Oh, America… What has happened to you?!

The ‘MEXICO WILL PAY FOR THE WALL’ Jumpsuit is Now $29.95 on Amazon

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Remember that infamous Toys R Us store in Portugal?

Well, now you can add another wall-related product to a growing list of nonsensical merchandise.

Just in time for Christmas 2018, there’s the MEXICO WILL PAY for the wall zip-up jumpsuit, currently on sale on Amazon.com for only $29.95 or less!

WARNING: This thing is made of 90 percent Nylon and 10 percent spandex, which will be just perfect for hanging around with your friends at a Halloween party –as long as it doesn’t take place on a United flight.

Sign me up for a few of these, Amazon. I’m going to have some real fun during my next trip to Mexicou!.

Via: The Huffington Post

AMLO’s ‘Sharp Critique’ of Trump –and Trump’s Wall, now Available in English

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Mexican presidential candidate Andrés Manuel López Obrador is running on an odd platform, enlisting politicians from all walks of life (and political positions) to his campaign. And while his politics and rhetoric have pretty much divided the country, there is one thing he has in common with millions of Mexicans: His contempt for President Trump –and his proposed border wall.

And now, in hopes of making his message get across the border, his 2017 book has been translated into English.

I have not read this thing –nor I’m sure if I’ll ever do it, but according to an enthusiastic morning press pitch: ¡Oye, Trump! Saying Yes to a New Start for Mexico, Saying No to a Wall (OR Books) presents a “no-holds-barred condemnation of corruption in his own country and a sharp critique of what he regards as the baleful influence of the United States in Mexican politics, especially under the Trump presidency.”

This Woman Protesting the End of DACA Is My Spirit Animal

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Chancla Power on Display

Americans from all walks of life took to the streets Tuesday, Sept. 5, 2017 to protest Donald Trump’s cruelest decision to date: To kill DACA, a program implemented by the Obama administration that granted undocumented children protection from deportation as well as permits to be able to work legally in the US.

The decision sparked nationwide protests, including one outside the Trump Tower in the heart of New York City where dozens of protesters were arrested. Among the brave — and most hilarious — protesters was the woman above, who had a clear message for Donald Trump (or rather his Twitter handle.)

Photo via: @NYSYLC

This Super PAC Claims Hot Latinas are ‘Huge’ Fans of Trump. Fact Check: No, We’re not

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A Trump Super PAC is using the hashtag #HispanicsBreakTheInternet to help spread the word that Trump is HUGE among my people (i.e. The Hot Latinas.)

As a spicy member of such a collective, I can tell you that’s simply not true. But I do hope the Latinas that do support the president have had some time to brush up on their Spanish grammar skills. Last time I checked, they were proudly pitching themselves as Latinas para Trump, instead of the accurate Latinas por Trump.

Anyway: What’s with these people *and* their president’s lousy grammar?

Attention, Mexicans! The Border Wall Will be Solar, Cheaper, so We’ll Have more Money for Tacos

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Sick of bad news? I have some good news for you. No, actually I have some GREAT news for y’all.

Our Commander in Chief this week reiterated his promise to build a huge, beautiful wall along the Mexico-U.S. border. But unlike previous reports, it looks like this thing will not be your regular wall, ¡no señor!: It will be a solar wall, one that will create energy, and thus will pay for itself. That way, said the-man-who-shall-not-be-mentioned, “Mexico will have to pay much less money, and that’s good.”

But that is not good, it is SUPER good, because you know what “much less money” spent on the wall means, right? It means we’ll have extra cash for tacos, tamales, garnachas and the like. So, YAY!

Make Garnachas Affordable Again!

Just WATCH!

#MGAA

This Mexican Dude Has Changed His Name to Trump –and I Can’t Stop Laughing

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A 34-year-old Mexican-American dude who brands himself “The Undeportable One” is such a fan of you-know-who that he decided to change his surname to… Trump. The move, mind you, was approved by a judge.

According to The Daily Mail:

“Heavily tattooed Ernesto Baeza Acosta filed a petition to change his name to Ernesto Trump, and called on the President to invite him to the White House.”

Apparently this dude is also into making videos (see one below) and in a recent one you can see him proudly saying:

“You can call me the undeportable one, you can call me the President’s son or you can call me Ernesto Trump.”

Oh, and just in case you were wondering: All this happened in — where else? — TEXAS!

Anyhow, I’m like super busy but must keep laughing…..

Via: DailyMail, what else?

This Beer Features Donald Trump Wearing a Mariachi Hat and a Swastika Belt Buckle — for some Reason

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No, I don’t feel like buying/drinking this thing

People have got to stop doing this.

According to my sources (i.e. the World Wide Web) Mexican and U.S. brewers have gotten together to reinvent Donald Trump as a “gun-slinging mariachi” to promote Amigous, a beer supposed to “celebrate cross-border cooperation.” But the gun is only the beginning. From the little I could read, Trump’s trousers are held up with a swastika belt buckle, and the rear label of the beer informs the reader that the 71-year-old New Yorker belongs “in a mad house, not the White House.”

The “innovative” product comes on the heels of the Trump-inspired toilet paper and other crazy ideas out there.

I am not going to spend too much time on talking about this thing, because 1) I’m super busy and 2) It’s almost impossible to keep up with all the marketing nonsense around our current administration and the dark, sad hole we’ve all fallen into.

So… wake me up in 2024, will ya?

Via: Univision

USA vs. Mexico: Who Is Sending their ‘Best’ elsewhere?

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Spring breakers chant ‘Build the Wall’ in Mexico

So much for the Mexican “journalist” who stole Tom Brady’s jersey, got caught and embarrassed an entire nation (this blogger included.)

I would like to turn our attention to this group of young Americans who went to Cancún, got drunk and yelled Build-The-Wall!, Build the Wall! repeatedly… while in — well — Mexico.*

OK, I get your rage, but before you go and vow to kill them all, I’d like for all of us to take a moment and realize that both — Mexico and the U.S. — have our share of morons, starting with the ones leading our respective nations, so really, can anyone blame us for being so obtuse?

I get the rage about the spring breakers, really, but before you go all crazy about them, go read this; then remember the 43 of Ayotzinapa; the blatant violations of human rights in Mexico and the dozens of filthy rich politicians who have vanished in thin air…. Then take a deep breath and maybe you’ll understand. We are all fucked, no matter which side of the border we live in.

Shame on us, really. All of us.

*OK, this happened in Cancún, which is arguably not Mexico anymore, but still…  

Via: SFGate.com

Stephen Colbert Calls Mexico about Paying for Trump’s Huge, Beautiful Border Wall

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Stephen Colbert on Friday compiled a team of experts — including an architect, an interior designer and a “concrete guy” — to come up with some rough estimates for Trump’s “big, strong, powerful, yuuuuge” wall.*

After concluding that the wall would have to be at least 100 feet tall, require at least 12,000 skilled laborers and result in roughly 4,800 casualties, Colbert put in a call to the Mexican consulate to see if Mexicans would foot the bill.

Just WATCH:

*Reminder: Trump has about 3 years and 11 months to complete construction if he wants to keep his campaign promise.