Laura Martínez, Harlem
Category: Awkard homages
Cinco de Mayo: America’s Stupidest Holiday Is Almost Here!
Awwww, Cinco de Mayo.
No matter how many bizarre holidays Americans come up with, Cinco de Mayo will forever be my favorite one. And not only because it’s an excuse to drink all day and yell ¡Viva México! while thinking it’s our celebration of Independence (it’s not.) But it is also the time of year that brings out the stupidest most creative marketing brains to sell Americans everything, from DIY printable fiesta kits and taquito shooters (whatever that is,) to senseless drink mixes, “ethnic food” and even life-size cardboard Mexicans as scene setters.
This time around, though, in honor of that amazing marketing took known as Twitter, I’ve put together a few tweets making their way to my timeline.
NOTE: We’re still a full week away from the actual fiesta and this list will be updated in the following days, but let’s get to it right away, shall we?
1. This mariachi-themed pitch from BelVita
2. How about some taquito shooters?
3. Old El Paso’s Suspicious-Looking ‘Tacos’
4. Go ahead, print your own fiesta kit
Use this Printable Fiesta kit for your #CincoDeMayo party & have time left to drink Margaritas http://t.co/rwa4FLhWtX pic.twitter.com/SSQWQliRZx
— paperandcake (@paperandcake) abril 27, 2015
The craziness is such, that even Whole Foods London is jumping on the Cinco de Mayo wagon:
5. Wait, what? Whole Foods London?
6. Or… Sombrero Cinco de Mayo Cookies
7. José Olé Cinco Savings Coming Soon
Prepare your party for a flavor-packed offer worthy of any #CincodeMayo celebration. #coupon pic.twitter.com/EKdHf2tsrH
— José Olé Central (@JoseOleCentral) abril 19, 2015
8. Taco Bell, of course
Last but not least, the King of Ruining Mexican Food, Taco Bell, has already announced plans to introduce a new hot sauce on Cinco de Mayo called Diablo. The sauce, says Taco Bell, will only be available for a limited time and it’s made with a variety of peppers, including ají panca, chipotle and chili. Here it is, in all its GIF glory.
Taco Bell’s hottest sauce packet ever. Try it May 5. #Diablo pic.twitter.com/hT6wrUiyuQ
— Taco Bell (@tacobell) abril 22, 2015
I don’t know about you, but at this point in my life, the only Cinco de Mayo thing worth watching is this one.
It’s a Bird… It’s a Plane… It’s Superman… It’s a Taco!
Remember the MexiCannon?
Well, that is nothing compared to what American engineers have come up with now.
Meet the Taco Cannon.
According to a report on KETV7 Omaha (which apparently is a real city) the University of Nebraska-Omaha Mavericks will soon introduce a taco cannon to ‘spice up’ their games. The contraption (which I bet is Made in China) is supposed to shoot tacos — or what people in Nebraska think are tacos — out in the air for spectators to enjoy. But, as a local journalist very cleverly asks: “How can tacos become something you can shoot out from a cannon?”
Well, Taco Cannon enthusiasts/sponsors have the answer: “I wouldn’t say [the taco] will be restaurant quality once it gets to them, but it’s edible.”
I don’t know about you but I am not looking forward to being hit in the head –not even by a bad taco. But the Omaha taco chain which is sponsoring the thing seems to be pretty excited.
Let’s Put a Tortilla on a Record Player, Shall we?
What happens when you put a tortilla on a record player? It plays El jarabe tapatío, of course!
You don’t believe me?
JUST WATCH!
Happy Friday.
Armed with a Good Pair of ‘Cojones,’ Jorge Ramos Asks Enrique Peña Nieto to Resign
I know this video has been going around for several days now, and that many of you have already seen it, tweeted it, instagramed it, facebooked it, etc.
Still, this blog had to make sure this footage also lives here, not only for ‘posterity’ but as a daily reminder of what should be the duty of many of us: Make corrupt politicians accountable for their [disgusting] actions or, as Jorge Ramos contends, demand their resignation when necessary, which – of course – applies to this case. Absolutely.
At some point during this five-minute or so speech at a TIME Magazine gala honoring the Univision anchor he says:
In any other country, with a little bit of rule of law, the president would have been forced to resign. Guess what?
Wanna know “guess what?”….
CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE ENTIRE VIDEO … I promise you, its almost as interesting as watching Jorge Ramos in Tanga.
Leave your comments below.
TWA Once Offered ‘Foreign Accent’ Flights; Alas, not ‘Hispanic’
“All in all, TWA’s new ‘Foreign Accent’ flights bring you […] foreign music. Foreign magazines and newspapers. Foreign touches all around.”
Unfortunately, none of this included us, *the* Hispanics, so this blog won’t be shedding any more ink here.
Sombrero (hat) tip: Ricardo Trejo
Empire State Building Goes Red to Honor Hispanics [Sort of]
If you still don’t believe me when I say Spanish-speakers rule New York, you might want to keep an eye on the Empire State building this coming Sunday, April 26, when it is set to go totally red in celebration of Telemundo 47 New York’s 50 year anniversary. Yes, and it’s not a joke, my friends.
Per a press release quoting the great Cristina Schwarz (a personal friend, mind you)…
“On the evening of Sunday, April 26, viewers from all across the New York Tri-State area will be able to look up to the beacon of our skyline as it beams in red, in honor of our station’s past and the promise of our future as we reaffirm our commitment to be the first informers our communities demand and deserve.”
I don’t know you, but as a proud Hispanic, I’ll be anxiously waiting for the red lights to go up and then tune in my TV set to … Mad Men.*
*It’s nothing against Telemundo, really. I just need to know what’s going to happen with Don Draper’s sombrero,
Watch Reese Witherspoon and Ellen DeGeneres Imitate Sofía Vergara [Video]
This happened this week on The Ellen Show. The sketch is funny, alright, but it’s interesting in that it’s further proof that Sofía’s “dimples” and strong “Latin accent” (fake or not) can be a real asset for so-called mainstream television outlets.
Via: The Ellen Show
Black Man. White Man. Mexican Sombreros. ‘Mad Men’ Finally Shows Commitment to Diversity
Sofía Vergara Transitions from ‘Rotating’ to ‘Leaning In’
Last time the Colombian (not Columbian) bombshell was featured on this blog, she had been put to rotate 360 degrees during the annual EMMY’s award ceremony, because apparently that’s what you are supposed to do with hot, Latin women onstage.
This time, Vergara (aka the Colombian, not Columbian, bombshell) graces the May 2015 cover of Vanity Fair magazine, where she talks about many interesting things, including her [fake] accent and –what else?– her “Bombshell Empire.”
But she also talks about Leaning In, which I think it’s awesome and much more interesting than rotating.
Personally, I’m much more comfortable just lying down, but heck, that’s just me!
Hispanic Jeb Bush Is the Best Thing on Twitter Right Now
My mistake! Don’t think I’ve fooled anyone! RT @JebBushJr LOL – come on dad, think you checked the wrong box #HonoraryLatino
— Jeb Bush (@JebBush) abril 6, 2015
Unless you live under a rock, in a detention center in Guantánamo or in a place without access to Twitter (very unlikely), you would have heard by now that Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush once identified himself as Hispanic in a voter registration application.
According to a Miami-Dade County document published Monday by The New York Times, Bush listed his race/ethnicity as “Hispanic,” in a 2009 voter-registration application, a fact that quickly spread over social media, giving way to some hilarious tweets, starting with Hispanic Jeb Bush himself.
The incident quickly gave way to the creation of the YebBush Twitter account, which promptly began interacting with this blogger.
Hola, amigos! Me llamow Heb. Soy Hispanico. Well, soy hispano asi asi. Only quando voter: http://t.co/qo0Z3Am1PG
— Yeb Bush (@MexicanJeb) abril 6, 2015
I say we should cut this guy some slack. He speaks fluent Spanish. His wife, Columba (NOT Columbia) Bush, was born in Mexico and for two years in his 20s, he lived in Venezuela… Besides, his Spanish is WAY better than that of many “Hispanics” I know. I promise.
British ‘Tortillas’ Feature Pyramids and Sombreros; Claim to Be ‘True Taste of Mexico’
From this blog’s London correspondent (formerly this blog’s West Coast correspondent) come Britain’s “Cool,” gluten-free Hey Ho to Mexico “tortillas,” which is apparently what the Brits call any corn-based produce that comes packaged in a plastic bag featuring pyramids and sombreros.
These are not your regular [fake] tortillas, mind you, these “bring you a true taste of Mexico,” because as everyone knows, there is only one.
Hat tip: London correspondent: Kent German
Ever Wondered Why Some Latin American Wines Taste Like Shit?
Remember that hot Latinas wine?
Well, there’s even a better — or, rather, worse — version of that thing. It is called “Culitos” (literally “Little Assholes”) and I will not be buying it any time soon.
¡Guácala!
Hat tip: @Bathtubmedia
Jimmy Kimmel -and Mexican sidekick- Visit Austin’s Piñata District. It Gets Interesting [Video]
Jimmy Kimmel and Mexican sidekick, Guillermo, will have a shot of tequila every time someone says the word “piñata.”
WARNING: They are actually in Austin’s piñata district, so you can imagine what happens next:
Latina Bloggers Now Come with a Dose of Tabasco Sauce
OK, shame on me, but given the fact they will never invite me again, my very busy schedule, this year I was not able to attend Hispanicize, that smoochfest between Mommy Bloggers and their Corporate Sugar Daddys I once had the fortune to witness.
However, thanks to the power of Internet — and online press releases — I was able to follow closely the details of the 2015 edition of Hispanicize, including a very important piece of news: Gaby Natale, the blogger aka SuperLatina was at hand to “spice up” the Latinovator Award event with “a good dose of Tabasco sauce.” Why?
Per the aforementioned press release:
Hispanicize is like the Latino South by Southwest. If it’s happening, Hispanicize is where you’ll find it. That makes it a perfect fit for Tabasco, a very unique company that blends the traditionalism of a 147-year-old company with a cutting-edge sense of branding
I’ll do my best to try to attend next year, if only to see how far “my spicy background” can get me.
I’ll keep y’all posted, but Shhhhh…. Don’t tell anyone!
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