Awwww, Cinco de Mayo.
No matter how many bizarre holidays Americans come up with, Cinco de Mayo will forever be my favorite one. And not only because it’s an excuse to drink all day and yell ¡Viva México! while thinking it’s our celebration of Independence (it’s not.) But it is also the time of year that brings out the
stupidest most creative marketing brains to sell Americans everything, from DIY printable fiesta kits and taquito shooters (whatever that is,) to senseless drink mixes, “ethnic food” and even life-size cardboard Mexicans as scene setters.
This time around, though, in honor of that amazing marketing took known as Twitter, I’ve put together a few tweets making their way to my timeline.
NOTE: We’re still a full week away from the actual fiesta and this list will be updated in the following days, but let’s get to it right away, shall we?
1. This mariachi-themed pitch from BelVita
2. How about some taquito shooters?
3. Old El Paso’s Suspicious-Looking ‘Tacos’
4. Go ahead, print your own fiesta kit
Use this Printable Fiesta kit for your #CincoDeMayo party & have time left to drink Margaritas http://t.co/rwa4FLhWtX pic.twitter.com/SSQWQliRZx
— paperandcake (@paperandcake) abril 27, 2015
The craziness is such, that even Whole Foods London is jumping on the Cinco de Mayo wagon:
5. Wait, what? Whole Foods London?
6. Or… Sombrero Cinco de Mayo Cookies
7. José Olé Cinco Savings Coming Soon
Prepare your party for a flavor-packed offer worthy of any #CincodeMayo celebration. #coupon pic.twitter.com/EKdHf2tsrH
— José Olé Central (@JoseOleCentral) abril 19, 2015
8. Taco Bell, of course
Last but not least, the King of Ruining Mexican Food, Taco Bell, has already announced plans to introduce a new hot sauce on Cinco de Mayo called Diablo. The sauce, says Taco Bell, will only be available for a limited time and it’s made with a variety of peppers, including ají panca, chipotle and chili. Here it is, in all its GIF glory.
Taco Bell’s hottest sauce packet ever. Try it May 5. #Diablo pic.twitter.com/hT6wrUiyuQ
— Taco Bell (@tacobell) abril 22, 2015
I don’t know about you, but at this point in my life, the only Cinco de Mayo thing worth watching is this one.