Everything is Better in Spanish, Including ‘Orange Is the New Black’ [Feat. Soraya Montenegro]

judges

The rumors were true — and the wait is over.

Soraya Montenegro, the evil stepmother of Mexican telenovela María la del Barrio, has finally ended up where she belongs: In prison.

More specifically, Litchfield Penitentiary.

¡Sí, señor! Montenegro (played many years ago by the great Itatí Cantoral) is the star of a new Netflix campaign to promote the fourth season of Orange Is the New Black in Latin America.

Naranja
Spanish is the New Black

So far so good, but Netflix would be well advised to extend a big GRACIAS to Cristian Vazquez, an 18-year-old from Danbury, Connecticut, who is credited with catapulting Soraya to viral fame by posting screenshots and videos of her on his Tumblr page.

bett

“I first saw a picture with the same caption of another actress, Victoria Ruffo, and then thought it would be funny to do the same,” Vazquez told the Daily Dot. “After posting the first photo of Soraya Crying in Spanish it became very popular because of a video of her acting in the telenovela Maria La Del Barrio, in which she, the villain, tries to kill three people. The majority of the people on Tumblr have never seen a telenovela and are not familiar with the exaggerated acting style, and so they found it hilarious.”

Yes, Soraya is awesome and Netflix’ promo video is hilarious. Watch it below but — more importantly — don’t forget to thank Cristian Vazquez.

 

Mexican Rats Smoke Cigarettes, and are Dying From it

The infamous dead rat is back on Mexico's cigarettes packaging.
The infamous dead rat is back on Mexico’s cigarettes packaging.

Let other countries use graphic images of low-weight babies, cancerous lungs or people exhaling smoke through a tracheotomy opening to show the perils of smokers. The Mexican government has decided to go a slightly different way.

Mexico’s health authorities decided to bring back the image of a dead rat covering the top half of cigarette packages. The reason? It is the one image that — according to a survey among Mexican smokers — will be more likely to help them quit.

Yeah, right.

Mexico’s health authorities are so naive they fail to see smokers were just screwing with their heads.

Harlem Shoe Store Proudly Peddling Pablo Escobar Gear, Because ‘Narcos’

Stay classy, New York
Stay classy, New York

This shoe and clothing store has been around for ages in the corner of Broadway and 150th street, but only yesterday I noticed a new addition to their offer: a bright red baseball cap featuring none other than Pablo Escobar.

I have no idea if that thing is for sale or it’s just sitting there as a sort of good-luck charm. Either way, I think it’s awesome and Netflix should be super proud.

Photo: Laura Martínez, Harlem 2016

‘Latinas for Trump’ Want to Trade their President for Trump –or Something

I think they meant to say 'para' not 'por,' unless.....
I think you wanted to say ‘para’ not ‘por’

Yes, there is a group called Latinas for Trump and, yes, they like to look red hot and seriously think America can be made great again. OK, that’s great, but, as the group readies an important gathering in –where else? — South Florida, they will be well-advised to proofread their Spanish-language messages.

Last time I checked, the Spanish translation of Trump for President was “Trump para presidente,” and not “por.” But perhaps as my smart pants Twitter buddy Colin Docherty says, they might just want to trade their president for Trump. For some reason.

Who knows?

Photos: via @foxnewslatino
Photos: via @foxnewslatino

 

Mexican Government Responds to Trump’s Taco Bowl by Producing a 3-Minute Video about Tacos

¡Tómala Trumpo!
¡Tómala Trumpo!

On the heels of the now infamous Taco-Bowl Trump brouhaha, the Mexican Government has decided to address the insult by going into full-on diplomacy mode and doing what it does best: Investing a ton of money on a three-minute video about … tacos.

Because… Mexico.

Filing this under #Diplomacy #Politics #Tacos and #StupidPropositions

This Music Video Beautifully Sums Up the Whole Sean Penn-Kate-El Chapo Brouhaha

Screen Shot 2016-05-18 at 3.26.49 PM

This blogger has been super busy with tons of parties work taking place this week, so it’s always good to keep getting tips from my dozens millions of indefatigable followers.

So, without further ado, I give you Me faltó decirle, a brand new music video by Conjunto Amanecer featuring JEAN FENN and KATY DE LA TORRE, friends of the one and only Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán.

¡Bravo, bravo!

Hat tip: @tropicarlitos

Aspiring Congresswoman in Mexico Campaigns as ‘The Helpful Blond,’ Because Mexico

Not the Onion

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I wanted.

Corintia Cruz (above) thought it was an awesome idea to campaign under the slogan of: Corintia, la güerita que te ayuda, which loosely translates as Corintia, the little blond woman who will help you.

I have no idea what her political platform and/or proposals for the people of Veracruz are, but given the fact that she is from the PRI, I’m pretty sure she’s pretty adept at helping … herself.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering: No, my country is *not* racist.

Via: Libertad Bajo Palabra

Mexican Twitter Cannot Get Enough of ‘Lady Cajero’

The original image
The original image

You can say anything about Mexicans, but you can’t accuse us of a lack of imagination.

The above image — which started making the rounds on the Internet on Tuesday — quickly became the object of some of the best memes this week. Nobody really knows the story behind this photo, nor why this woman’s friend had to be so protective of her privacy at a Banamex ATM, but it didn’t really matter. Mexican Twitter quickly jumped in. And it was hilarious.

I will be uploading some more pics later today, but in the meantime take a look at some of my personal favorite memes around #LadyCajero. [Click on the arrows to continue]

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Courtesy of @vampipe, @besuqueable, @TacoGuruMx, @Sopitas, @BebeDeiuz

Argentine Sports Channel Puts Trump’s Insults to Good Use

promomessi

Argentina’s TyC Sports channel is using extracts from Trump’s infamous “wall” speech to propose a wall in hopes to stop Argentina’s national team from coming to this year’s Copa América.

“These are total killers,” says Trump, as the video shows Ángel Di María lashing the ball into the the net. “These are not the nice, sweet little people that you think,” Trump continues. “We need to build a wall, and we need to build it fast!”

Watch the spot below, and leave your comments… (Oh, and try to be nice to Argentina.)

Via: CNET en Español

See? Even the GOP Knows Mexicans Speak Perfect English Before Crossing the U.S. Border

mike-pape

Mike Pape, a Republican dude running for Kentucky’s first Congressional district, has released a new TV ad featuring what he thinks are Latino immigrants, complete with Mario Bros.-like mustaches and fake accents.

In the :30 TV spot (below) three men, presumably undocumented immigrants attempting to cross the border into the U.S., are running to a fence and cutting through it when they reveal their very specific political plans: To help stop Donald Trump and Ted Cruz but also Pape himself, because he’s going to help those two build a wall and repeal Obamacare and stuff.

The whole thing is so hilarious it’s hard to be offended. In fact, my favorite part of this whole thing are the English subtitles, because — in case you haven’t noticed — these guys are actually SPEAKING ENGLISH!

So, WTF Señor Pape? Get your caca together, man!

WATCH. CRINGE. DO NOT REPEAT.

Via: Think Progress

British TV Producers Punish Peruvian Tribe by Sending a Bunch of White, Disrespectful Teenagers

‘Ethan and Alex are sent to Peru to live with the Ashaninka tribe for crimes of laziness and being spoilt’

What to do with lazy, spoilt, disrespectful teenagers who do nothing but play video games all day long?

Send them to Peru, of course!

That is basically the premise of Tribal Teens, a reality TV show hailing form England that sends entitled little brats to live in “dire conditions” and face “life-changing challenges” in some of the world’s most remote tribes.

Among these are the Ashaninka indians in the Peruvian Amazon, who for some screwed up reason ended hosting not only these spoiled, disrespectful teens, but an army of television producers, cameramen, make-up artists, etc., etc.

Seriously, dude. What did the Ashaninka do to deserve this punishment? Can somebody please fill me in?

Salma Hayek to Star as a Lesbian Taco in Upcoming Movie, Because Hollywood

sausage

Hold on to your sombreros!

If you thought Hollywood was running out of awesome ideas, think again. Coming this summer to a movie theatre near you is The Sausage Party, an “adult animated film with talking food,” starring Seth Rogen as Frank, a sausage who lives in a supermarket waiting to be chosen. Yep.

But because American supermarkets — and dinner tables — would be nothing without my people (i.e. Flaming Hot Mexicans,) The Sausage Party also stars Mexican bombshell Salma Hayek who will play the role of — what else? — a Lesbian taco. (Don’t ask.)

It’s a pity no more Mexicans have been cast, since I would have enjoyed a kitchen scene of horny jumping beans. But maybe that’s in store for the 2017 sequel: The Chorizo Fiesta

Anyhow, here’s a trailer of this thing, alas, sans lesbian tacos:

Hat tip: London correspondent 

Tostitos Telenovela Features Catalina Creel, and Lots of Shirtlessness

¡Doble-dippeaste! ¡Sí, lo hiciste!
Clap, clap, clap
Tostitos, the brand that gave us a noseless Sevillana pitching spicy salsa, is back with a [Latin] vengeance; this time with Botanas del cielo, a :60 telenovela that incorporates its new products into a hilarious, over-the-top plotline.

Among this blogger’s favorite: An English-speaking version of eye-patched villain Catalina Creel, accusing her (always shirtless) son Enrique of double-dipping in the brand’s new Chunky Habanero Salsa. “¡Doble-dippeaste!” 

This thing is so hilarious that I’m sort of forgiving Tostitos for their past transgressions.

The series and a trailer are featured on Tostitos.com and the brand’s YouTube channel.