It is no secret that bodegas are a wonder of sorts. No matter the time of day you will surely find all your basics. Late night-condoms? a Guadalupe Virgin candle? Emergency tampons? Terrible coffee? …. The bodeguero has your back.
Oh, but try not asking him to use the bathroom, unless you want to unleash a series of… hilarious musical events.
WATCH Saturday Nights’ Live (March 2, 2019 episode)
… unlike racist New York lawyer Aaron Schlossberg, who once claimed to be “fluent in Spanish” but then went batshit crazy and threatened to call ICE on people speaking the language at his local deli.
Shame on you, Señor Schlossberg. You should learn from the fine lawyers of Spanish Harlem, who I’m sure are much more attuned to the sensibilities of a multicultural, multiethnic city –and the need for [true] bilingual professionals.
If you ever broke a piñata –and had to sing the accompanying song that goes with it, you’ll see how brilliant this is. Sign by Jessica Solt. Photos: Laura Martínez
Being Hispanic in the U.S. has become a sort of act of resistance for many of us. Not only because we have to deal with a president who launched his candidacy by calling Mexicans a bunch of rapists and criminals, but because that same presidency seems to be enabling all kinds of racist behavior towards “these people” (i.e. Latinos, Hispanics, Beaners or whatever you want to call “my people.”)
In one of the most recent of these episodes, a video went viral this week showing New York attorney Aaron Schlossberg verbally attacking deli employees for –wait for it– speaking Spanish. In Manhattan. At a deli. Imagine that!
In the video (which was first reported by Latino Rebels), we can see Schlossberg complaining aggressively to the deli’s management, saying “your staff is speaking Spanish to clients when they should be speaking English. Every person I listen to: he spoke it, he spoke it, she’s speaking it,” he says, pointing angrily at several people in the place.
The hero of the afternoon: The dude with the big Bluetooth speaker
Needless to say, Schlossberg’s tirade got Latinos very angry (and many reasonable non-Latinos, of course) but I’m happy to report that “my people” responded in the best way possible: By throwing him a Latin FIESTA right on his block, outside a posh apartment building on West 60th Street, in the heart of Manhattan.
The party, which took place on Friday, May 18, was organized by a group known as Millennials for Revolution on Facebook who invited people to show Schlossberg that speaking Spanish is not a crime and that “we will gladly educate you on our culture and language by throwing a big fiesta.”
And it was goooood!
It was only 5:30 pm but dozens of people were already gathered, listening to music, waving improvised signs and chanting things like Hablamos español! I don’t know exactly how, but I found myself joining the crowd dancing to some good ol’ Latin favorites: From Celia Cruz’ Quimbara, to Elvis Crespo’s Suavemente and –yes– several versions of Despacito. Ay!
If everything else fails, Richard Carranza can always go back to serenading las muchachas. ¡Ajúa!
From the Archives of I Could Not Make This Thing Up if I Tried comes Richard Carranza, the recently appointed New York City Schools Chancellor, who took a very unsual approach when discussing his new job with Mr. De Blasio and wife: He serenaded them with mariachi song María Elena.
His background is plain awesome. Per the [failing] New York Times:
At Monday’s news conference, Mr. Carranza said he had been a mariachi musician since he was about 6 years old. When he wanted to stay up late with his father and his uncles, they said the only people staying up late were people playing instruments — so he learned to play the guitar. He later worked his way through college at the University of Arizona “gigging,” as he put it on Monday.
Now you know. If running our disastrous public school system turns out to be too much for this fellow Mexican, he can always go back to serenading las muchachas. ¡Ajúa!
I don’t know about you, but I do take national holidays very seriously, especially when it comes to drinking and eating like there’s no tomorrow.
So, in celebration of my relatively recent double-citizenship bonanza and the upcoming anniversary of Mexico’s Independence, this blogger will be pulling all her U.S.-based resources to list the very best stuff you can buy/do on THIS SIDE of the border so you feel as if you were on the OTHER side of the border.
Now… I’ll be posting some actual goodies later this week (I’m exhausted, you know?), but for now, I’d like to kick off this year’s festivities with the colorful invite (above) I just received from the Mexican Consulate in New York, which makes it clear our Ángel de la Independencia is as tall as the Empire State Building *and* the Freedom Tower themselves.
Yeah, that’s me in the background taking a pic. I’m NOT going in…
This is not Brooklyn, nor the West Village, nor I-don’t-know-what-fancy neighborhood: This is freaking Harlem, for God’s sakes.
Forget for one second about those ridiculous prices: What the hell is a Tex-Mex veggerito? Why would anyone eat whole wheat tortilla chips? What’s with the alfalfa sprouts?
That’s it, New York hipsters & millennials, I’m coming to get you.
I have no idea what this salon is up to, but in addition to a “refrigerio” Wednesday, they’re offering to implant you with the hair of an Indian virgin — for some reason.
Mexican immigrants are not precisely popular these days –and I’m pretty sure we’ll all get deported real soon. But local mariachis are making their way to the world of high fashion, thanks in part to Kate Spade New York.
The brand has tapped the all-female mariachi band Flor de Toloache to tout its “timeless — and timely — collection,” which is full of “cute cultural references” and is now available on Kate Spade’s Website.*
WATCH as the all-female band gets on the [FAILING] New York City subway while model Fernanda Ly walks in sporting a “lace-trimmed flouncy dresses” and a handbag that features a tiny burrito or something weird like that.
*Alas, the fabulous black charro suits are not part of the collection’s offering.
Tony Boloney’s, an eatery in — where else? — Hoboken, NJ, has concocted The Taco Pizza, an abomination made of queso Oaxaca, carne asada chipotle and a “solid heaping of cheese on top of pizza dough.”
Keep reading on the link below. I’m going to go throw up.
The so-called President can say whatever he wants, and build a wall as big as his ego, but my people continue to make this blogger (and many more Mexicans) very happy on this side of the border.
New York City’s Michael Jordan’s The Steak House has jumped into the UTW (Unaffordable-Tacos-Wagon) with the introduction of a $12 New York strip taco, generously featuring guacamole *and* pico de gallo.
Please note that for that price you will only be able to order at the bar.. Were you to sit down at an actual table, this thing will probably cost you like 50 bucks or something.
This blogger has not tried, nor will try these things until she succeeds in accomplishing a long-time quest: to Make U.S. Tacos Affordable Again!
This shoe and clothing store has been around for ages in the corner of Broadway and 150th street, but only yesterday I noticed a new addition to their offer: a bright red baseball cap featuring none other than Pablo Escobar.
I have no idea if that thing is for sale or it’s just sitting there as a sort of good-luck charm. Either way, I think it’s awesome and Netflix should be super proud.