Say what you will about Bill de Blasio and Marcelo Ebrard, but thanks to this useless duo, this Mexican blogger can now proudly say she lives in a city that honors “México-Tenochtitlan” right at the intersection of 116th Street and Second Avenue.
Yes, having solved their respective city’s most urgent taskes, Mr. Ebrard and Mr. De Blasio formally inaugurated the “México-Tenochtitlan Avenue” in Manhattan, just around the corner of this blogger’s favorite tacos ever.
I don’t mean to cause any international incidents here, but WHY ON EARTH didn’t they just call this avenue Manhatitlán? It would mean so much for this humble blogger.
At this point, it isn’t really a surprise that the “Mexican meme machine” is so amazing at its job that it should be protected by the UNESCO –or something.
In the latest example of what “my people” have done to immortalize President Andrés Manuel López Obrador 2021 visit to New York City, I give you some of the best memes echoing AMLO’s Nov. 9 posting proposing a “World Plan for Fraternity & Welfare.” (Ay, caramba!)
This blogger is super busy trying to get unemployment benefits to dwell too much on each of these, so please just scroll down, enjoy and -please- help me add to these by commenting on this post.
Mexican president Andrés Manuel López Obrador (aka AMLO) will be in the Big Apple for a short visit next week (Nov. 8 & 9) and while this blogger was eager to follow his culinary adventures in her adopted city, it looks like he will be missing out on the whole “Puebla York” experience.
According to press reports, AMLO will travel to the United Nations next week and give a speech about the dangers of corruption (no, really!) His visit corresponds with Mexico taking over the rotating presidency of the U.N. Security Council in November.
Alas, while his supporters at the “Morena New York Committee 1” are prepping a whole fiesta complete with mariachis –and plenty of local garnachas–, it looks like AMLO will remain at the UN and look all professional and stuff.
The 2021 AMLOFestNYC is free to the public and is to take place -where else?- at the Aztec Hall in Brooklyn. But the fiesta will have to go on without him.
A real pity if you asked me, since Manhatitlán is home of the best antojitos, garnachas and other Mexican goodies on this side of the border.
While her (sudden and premature) death was the worst thing me and my siblings have had to endure, she left us the one thing no one will ever take away from us: A sense of humor that –she assured us– was the only way to go through life, no matter how tough the shit got going.
Cuquita told the dorkiest jokes and made the funniest remarks about being divorced, poor, underemployed, uneducated, hungover, drunk, uninsured, etc. etc. (“I have saved enough money to last me until the day I die … as long as I die tomorrow,” she used to say often –while cracking up….or “If I didn’t know this was a hangover… I’d rush to the nearest emergency room.” har har har.)
And then there’s my personal favorite. Once, during a heated discussion with us (her kids) giving her a hard time over something, she stops and yells at us: “DO YOU GUYS EVEN KNOW WHY I NEVER WENT TO HARVARD?” … Silence ensued, I mean, fuuuuuuck, we don’t know about that thing… Why? my sister asks almost embarrassed for not knowing.
“Because I didn’t finish elementary school! JA JA JA,” goes my mother….
Ok, you get the picture. I don’t exaggerate when I say Cuquita contributed to at least half all the Spanish slang and idiomatic expressions I used in Think Dirty Spanish. She would often call in the middle of the night with the great news that she had found –yet– another expression she’d love to see in the book. “¡Mosquita muerta!.. a ver ¿cómo dicen eso los gringos?”
We traveled the world together.
We went to shady tango joints in Buenos Aires; gigantic farmer markets in Los Angeles and colorful tavernas in Valparaíso, Chile. Once, on a trip between Santiago and Buenos Aires, right in the middle of the Andes, our plane had an engine failure and for a few, terrifying moments, we thought we would die right there. But then, as I hyperventilated and yelled in panic for a Valium or something, my mother started laughing out loud at our poor Argentine pilot, who was so distressed, he couldn’t even speak properly. Favor de no formor, he asked us, instead of Favor de no fumar.
BUAHAHAHAHAHA, my mom and I had a fit of hysterical, uncontrollable laughter.
Damn you, Cuquita! ¡Qué divertido era viajar juntas!
My favorite were her months-long visits to New York, when we’d roam the city in search of “real genuine stuff” to cook authentic Mexican things, but more often than not ended up in some fancy steakhouse drinking wine, cubas libres and eating meat like there was no tomorrow. (Oh, and did I mention the marathonic poker sessions?)
Cuquita spoke NO ENGLISH whatsoever, but none of that mattered, because in Nueva York, everyone knew her and spoke Spanish to her. My friends, my colleagues, my neighbors, the super, the bodega guy… todos.
To this day, no matter if I’m in CDMX or not, I know Cuquita will always have an altar in her home for Día de Muertos featuring some of her favorites: chocolates, pan de muerto, cigarettes and cubas libres (with flat Coke, which she seemed to favor –for some reason.) ¡Gracias, Catus!
I’m not sure where she is right now. But if there’s anything going on UP THERE, in the so-called afterlife, I’m sure she’s serving the cubas libres, setting up the poker table, telling the jokes –and having a blast.
The craziness is not limited to New York City or even the US: My brother sent me a photo (below) from a Mexico City supermarket, showing people doing exactly the same thing: Hoarding toilet-paper –except supplies seem to be abundant down there (at least for now.)
I tried again one day later and this time my local bodega (PapaSito) proudly advertised that toilet paper was back, so I went in (naturally). Several rolls of toilet paper wrapped individually sat at the top of a very tall counter, one I couldn’t reach, so I asked a fellow Mexican who works there for help. Our conversation went something like this:
–Can you please pass me four of those? –I asked.
-Four? Only four? –said the man almost incredulous. –Why don’t you take more? People are coming in and getting 15-30 rolls at once…
-Because… I’m not deranged? –I replied.
My paisano cracked up upon hearing that, and then noticed I had also bought a few packs of corn tortillas.
–Well, I’d be damned if we were to run out of those! –He said pointing at my packs of Poblanitas.
I walked away thinking he was absolutely right and was happy to get back to my quarantine (not before I stopped for some other basic goods.)
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has a way to respond to haters.
As part of the premiere episode of Showtime’s Desus & Mero, the New York City native decided to show her critics that she’s not only a kick-ass politician but knows her way around a bodega and a taquería. Oh, and she will also mix you a margarita. And just so we have it clear: These people in Washington D.C. are “not smarter than a bartender.”
Watch Ocasio-Cortez as she joins her fellow Bronx natives, show hosts Desus Nice and The Kid Mero, on a tour of their home borough that includes bodegas, happy faces, burritos, margaritas, Bohemia beer and even Jarritos de piña.
Thanks to America’s clueless obsession with the Latin culture and such, a new trend/hashtag is making its debut today on this venerable blog. Joining the always popular #ItsColombiaNotColumbia, I give you: #ItsEmpanadasNotEmpañadas
It is no secret that bodegas are a wonder of sorts. No matter the time of day you will surely find all your basics. Late night-condoms? a Guadalupe Virgin candle? Emergency tampons? Terrible coffee? …. The bodeguero has your back.
Oh, but try not asking him to use the bathroom, unless you want to unleash a series of… hilarious musical events.
WATCH Saturday Nights’ Live (March 2, 2019 episode)
Shame on you, Señor Schlossberg. You should learn from the fine lawyers of Spanish Harlem, who I’m sure are much more attuned to the sensibilities of a multicultural, multiethnic city –and the need for [true] bilingual professionals.