For the monolingual crowd: This stuff is almost as un-translatable as it is brilliant. Look it up. Do your homework!
Category: Religion
Attention, Hispanic Worshippers; Now You Can Pray at a Hispanic Church
There is nothing like a Sunday at a Hispanic church, before enjoying a Hispanic meal complete with Hispanic mayonnaise, Hispanic tuna and a good, healthy Hispanic lettuce.
Have a wonderful Hispanic Sunday!
Photo: @garsiknews taken in Washington, D.C.
Jehova’s Witnesses Want Us to Move to Canada
I’m all up for tolerance, freedom of religion and all that stuff. But being woken up before noon on a Sunday by a group of Spanish-speaking Jehova’s witnesses has got to be sin, no matter where you live.
However, as soon as I saw what these guys were bringing into my home, my annoyance turned to curiosity: According to their literature, our suffering will end soon… as soon as we move to Canada, and organize pic-nics with pumpkins and apples while moose and horses roam around.
Which would be, like, super nice, because right now it’s 40 degrees outside and the only thing roaming around my neighborhood are livery cabs, tamale street vendors and, well, plenty of Jehova’s witnesses.
Mexican Archbishop to Replace Mahony at L.A. Archdiocese. I Can’t Tell Which is Which
This looks like something out of the Twilight Zone. Turns out Cardinal Roger Mahony is retiring from the archdiocese of Los Angeles, and will be replaced by some guy from Monterrey, Mexico who looks very much like him.
Given the current state of affairs at the Catholic Church, it wouldn’t surprise me if this “new guy” is only a make believe, wax-made Mahony impersonator; someone who will take the punches next time something goes wrong. That way, as is often the case, you can always blame it on “The Mexican.”
¡Ay, nanita!
Photo: Los Angeles Times
Photo: Getty Images, via WSJ
Who Says God Is ‘Out’?
If you thought you knew everything about soccer and about Argentinian’s passion for the sport and their own God (i.e. Diego Maradona), think again.
This summer, la Iglesia Maradoniana (the Maradona Church) counts 40,000 loyal followers. Their religion is simple: Nuestra religión es el fútbol y como toda religión ha de tener un Dios. (Our religion is soccer, and as such it has to have a God.) …So guess who this God is?
Unfortunately, the church’s Web site has not been translated -yet- into English; but for those of you lucky enough to understand the language of God, I leave you with Diego’s own Our Father:
Diego nuestro que estás en la tierra,
santificada sea tu zurda,
Venga a nosotros tu magia,
háganse tus goles recordar,
así en la tierra como en el cielo.
Danos hoy una alegría en este día,
y perdona aquellos periodistas
así como nosotros perdonamos
a la mafia napolitana.
No nos dejes manchar la pelota
y líbranos de Havelange…
Diego
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