Jehova’s Witnesses Want Us to Move to Canada

I’m all up for tolerance, freedom of religion and all that stuff. But being woken up before noon on a Sunday by a group of Spanish-speaking Jehova’s witnesses has got to be sin, no matter where you live.

However, as soon as I saw what these guys were bringing into my home, my annoyance turned to curiosity: According to their literature, our suffering will end soon… as soon as we move to Canada, and organize pic-nics with pumpkins and apples while moose and horses roam around.

Which would be, like, super nice, because right now it’s 40 degrees outside and the only thing roaming around my neighborhood are livery cabs, tamale street vendors and, well, plenty of Jehova’s witnesses.

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4 Responses to Jehova’s Witnesses Want Us to Move to Canada

  1. wattacetti says:

    Canada? Oh yes that works – you can come help us on our ranches where our docile herds of moose graze on the fine, fine pastureland that they seemingly graze on.

    And when everyone’s done with the day’s pumpkin harvest, we have singalongs with the Mounties while paddling on the still lake waters in our canoes.

    Your Witnesses are at least entertaining; the ones here just tell me that I`m going to H*ll.

  2. La Cabrona says:

    hahahaha just discovered your blog! This is my favorite post, i am for freedom of religion as well… lately the jehovahs have been on my shit list though, starting with the note sent home from preschool that they won’t be letting the kids celebrate christmas or halloween.

  3. jason says:

    First of all, Jehovahs Witnesses do preach that people go to Hell,”BECAUSE HELL WAS CREATED BY CATHOLICISM…YOU WILL NOT FIND IN THE BIBLE”. And if you don’t want to be woken up on sunday just tell them not to bother you and… you will not!

  4. francisco velazquez says:

    i love going to jehova kingdoms hall i love the way they explain you everything and to proof what they are saying they have the bible and i will soon baptist from jehova kingdoms hall i will keep on going on because you need to love who created you and who helps you in you problems if u whant to talk to me e-mail me.

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