Holy Week in Mexico: Time for Jesus Accidents Nationwide

Photo credit: Pulso DF

You may not know this but Semana Santa (Holy Week) is a very important religious holiday in Mexico, and among the many events that take place during the course of the week, the so-called passion play is one of the most popular — and well-attended. It consists of a representation of the via crucis, and involves everyone, from workers, students and housewives who become actors for one day to play the roles of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, the Nazarenes, the apostles — and other characters (not all of them strictly Biblical) including a spy, a dog, and a wandering Jew.

In the play, when Christ gets captured, we see him carrying a cross a long way and until he reaches a location that represents Mount Calvary. In the most famous of these representations (the one that takes place in Iztapalapa) we see Christ carrying his cross from the town’s main square to the nearby Cerro de la Estrella in the heart of Mexico City.

Unfortunately, not all Mexican towns and cities have a mountain or even a hill around, so they resort to crucifix their Jesus on pretty much whatever location, including an electricity pole, which — as you may imagine — doesn’t always go smoothly.

JUST WATCH. ¡Pobre Jesús!

Move Over, Baby Jesus! Baby Yoda Wants a Piece of your Rosca de Reyes

‘Los Magos Reyes’ are almost here, says baby Yoda.

Three Kings Day (better known as Día de Reyes in Spanish-speaking countries) is celebrated on January 6 to honor the Three Wise Men (Los tres reyes magos) who went through great lenghts to visit baby Jesus and bring tons of presents to celebrate his birth.

In Mexico –and a few other countries– the festivity includes the cutting of a special, oval-shaped cake known as the rosca de reyes, which comes filled with tiny plastic dolls symbolizing the hiding of the infant Jesus from King Herod’s troops. But because we live in 2020 and Star Wars has become part of our daily lives, some very creative Mexicans are making Baby Yodas for you to stuff your 2021 rosca with instead.

Move over, Reyes Magos, here come los Magos Reyes!

I don’t know about you, I just think it’s adorbs!

ayñ

Mexicans Are Selling a ‘Mystic Candle’ to Fight Off Coronavirus

The above candle is being sold as a “mystic product” and it promises to protect us from the evils of coronavirus. In fact, according to the owner of this establishment in Tabasco, all you have to do is light it up and move it around your body while you say the special prayer printed on the glass.

I’m going to be honest here: I’m not sure it works, but it’s only $40 pesos (which is like less than $2 USD at today’s exchange) so why not give it a try? Now if I only can get to Tabasco….

Via: xevt.com

Argentine Priest Blesses Flock with ‘Despacito,’ Because there’s no God and we’re all Going to Hell

We are going to hell… Despacito

It was only a few days ago I wrote about gringo media discovering the craze of Despacito, the first Spanish-language U.S. No. 1 hit since Macarena.

Well, get ready for more Despacito-infused news: A priest at a local church in Córdoba, Argentina, has decided to give his dominical sermon a Fonsi-Daddy-Yankee spin, by making attendees chant and dance to the tune of  — what else? — Despacito!

The reason? Simply because THE END is near and we’re all going to hell. (Despacito, but we’re on our way.)

JUST WATCH:

Via: Televisa

Pope Francis Wins ‘First-ever Telemundo Innovation Award’ — for some Reason

sombrero Pope Francis

Today in awkward, Hispanic-related news…

Pope Francis is the proud recipient of the first-ever Telemundo Innovation Award, which was conceived by Telemundo to honor an individual innovator “whose work has explored new trends, showcased pioneering spirit and greatly impacted society.”

According to a very long press release, Pope Francis was chosen for his “innovative approach to redefining religion in a social and digital world.” This, I’m sure, has to do with the fact that he just joined Instagram (better late than never) and has, like, six Twitter accounts (who has the time?)

Anyhow, I thought you’d also like to know that this very important award was announced during an equally paramount event: Hispanicize 2016, taking place in — where else? — Miami.

¡Ay dios mío!

Via Broadcasting & Cable

 

Pope Francis Gets Convenient Gift Before 12-Hour Flight

sombrero Pope Francis

Right before taking a plane that will take him to Cuba, then Mexico, Pope Francis received a bunch of gifts from several Latin American journalists who are making the trip with him. Among my favorites: A gigantic sombrero featuring what looks to be the map of Argentina and a cartoonish image of Pope Francis himself.

Poor Bergoglio… and he hasn’t even arrived yet.

Via: @infobae

Syrian Refugee Crisis: Whatever Happened to the Old Political Debate about Rejecting Mexicans Instead?

colbert

Being Mexican, and having lived in several countries, I’ve seen my share of political idiocy and horrors. But as it turns out, nothing had prepared me for the current “debate” taking place right now in my now adopted country about whether to restrict — or altogether block — the entry of Syrian refugees.

I mean, seriously: Are you guys for real? Have you not been following any of this?

Of course I was not going to use this blog to vent my fury share my thoughts about the Syrian refugee crisis. I was just planning on burying my head in the sand and cry in desperation.

Fortunately for this blogger, Stephen Colbert came and put it in a way that at least made me smile a little — yeah, only a little.

The question of whether to let Syrian refugees into this country has become the new political issue; completely overshadowing the old political issue: Whether to let Mexicans into this country.

 

TBN Launches Hispanic TV Network Called -What Else?- Salsa

TBN Salsa is 'geared toward next generation Hispanics who may not be fluent in Spanish but apparently love salsa.

Religious broadcaster Trinity Broadcasting Network on June will launch an English-language channel targeting what it called “next-generation” Latinos, which apparently are religious, prefer to speak English and — of course — love to dance and eat salsa.

Per a company press release:

TBN Salsa is ‘geared toward next generation Hispanics who may not be fluent in Spanish. […] It will initially debut in 38 major broadcast markets across America, including Los Angeles, New York City, Miami, Atlanta, Dallas, Seattle, and Phoenix.

And that’s just awesome because everybody knows that Hispanics, regardless their religion and language preference, simply love salsa: This one… and this one too!

This Church Claims God is Having Sexual Pleasure with you

Wait. What?
Wait. What?

No, the devil is not in the details; the devil is in the bad translations.

Take St. Ignatius, an Austin-based catholic parish, which — in an effort to lure more Hispanics — decided to translate its holy message into Spanish.

However, St. Ignatius’ publicists would have been well advised to know that “God Delights in you” shouldn’t be translated as God se goza contigo, which is Spanish for, ahem, ahem…  “God is having sexual pleasure with you.”

I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a very uncomfortable proposition –and one that does not make me want to attend church any time soon.

hat tip: Le Chanclé

CW to Premiere Venezuelan Drama About a Religious Girl Who Gets ‘Accidentally Inseminated’

JuanaLaVirgen

The crave for Latin American dramas is about to reach new heights, as CW on October will debut an English-language adaptation of Juana la Virgen, a Venezuelan novela about a “very religious girl” who ends up being artificially inseminated… accidentally, of course.

The adaptation, which was first reported by Deadline.com, has some powerful backers, including Ben Silverman, the guy behind Ugly Betty and Jennie Snyder Urman, creator of Emily Owens, MD.

I’m not sure how the story will play down in English, but at least in Spanish -and judging from the following episode- Juana’s “virginity” doesn’t seem to hold much water.