Your one-stop shop for all things Latin/Hispanic/Mexican
“Who knows the truth? Who did it, and why did they do it?” Quishpe asks in this hilarious song, and then goes on:
The whole planet was convulsed
My God, Help me
When I went to look for you, I believed what I was seeing.
The towers in flames, full of black smoke, and you in that place,
My God
JUST WATCH:
Joe Biden doesn’t want you to know this –yet– but he’s about to drop a Spanish-language ad to try to convince my people (i.e. The Hispanics) that he’s an awesome choice for a 2020 democratic president.
Details of the ad were leaked thanks to the very chismoso nature of said people (The Hispanics) who decided to ignore an NDA signed with the Biden campaign and posted behind-the-scenes photos on social media anyway.
Per Politico.com:
The Saturday film shoot was a hushed affair — paid local actors signed nondisclosure agreements promising not to discuss the job. But some posted images on social media of the Fort Lauderdale commercial anyway, prompting a flurry of emails warning of legal exposure and requesting that those involved delete any images of the shoot and not talk to the media about it.
But that’s not even the best part about this whole thing. According to the same report, a member of the cast (presumably a Spanish-dominant Latina) was finding it hard to pronounce Biden’s name, so the crew came up with a workaround by having her call the former Vice President simply as “Tío Joe,” because –at least according to Americans– Latinos are always in need of additional tío material to spice up our bautizos, bodas, quinceañeras, piñata parties, BBQs and the like.
Sorry, Tío Bernie, it looks like there will be a new tío in town!
Via: Político.com
Move over tortilla towel, here comes the tortilla blanket, the most recent addition to what I like to call Nonsense American Products (NAPS.)
The latest tortilla-themed thing is a microfiber blanket that can be yours for as little as $39.99!) The marketing pitch?
“Do you love Mexican food so much you want to reincarnate yourself as a giant burrito? […] With this giant tortilla blanket you can become a taco, quesadilla, tostada, enchilada, burrito, taquito or use your imagination.”
THE END IS NEAR, MY FRIENDS
Via: Amazon.com
Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán might be doomed to live in a prison cell forever, but that doesn’t mean we’ll be seeing lots of him everywhere. Or at least in the world of fashion.
Yes, my friends, el Chapo’s 29-year-old, Instagram-savvy wife Emma Coronel has officially launched El Chapo Guzman: JGL LLC, a brand new firm charged with designing clothes, shoes and accessories under the name –what else– El Chapo Guzmán: JGL.
“This project is an idea Joaquin and I have had for a long time,” Coronel told the New York Daily News. “Before he was in the USA we talked a lot about this topic. Really, it’s both of our ideas.”
Well, isn’t that narco-romantic?
Via: CNET en Español
Not content with torturing us with its Mexican Dynasties nonsense, Bravo TV has announced a new Mexican-inspired project: Texicanas, a sort of Latino Desperate Real Housewives that will chronicle the drama of… lavish Latinas in San Antonio, Texas.
According to Bravo TV:
Texicanas follows Penny Ayarzagoitia and her sophisticated gal pals through la vida loca — and rica — in the Alamo City as they juggle family and fun. Most of the women grew up in Mexico before making San Antonio home.
Judging from the preview (below) these ladies speak Spanglish; drink lots of fancy cocktails, go to shooting ranges for fun and attend parties featuring papel picado, because Mexico!
TEXICANAS MAY 7! #Texicanas
pic.twitter.com/2HQY7HBaBB— Bravo Boy (@TheBravo_Boy) 27 de marzo de 2019
Texicanas is set to premiere on May 7 and this blogger cannot wait to not watch it.
Not content with having ruined meals –and jacked up the price of avocados to ridiculous levels– American hipsters are at it again; this time with a plan to ruin footware as well.
Yes, my friends, according to multiple reports, the “Saucony Originals Shadow 6000 Avocado Toast sneakers” are here for a price I can only guess will be as high as an “avocado toast.”
I’m kind of busy right now, but I’ll be filing this under the #PinchesHipsters and #StupidPropositions categories… and then proceed to jump out the window.
Via: Footwear News
Racism? Ignorance? Why not both?
Here’s the full segment if you’re so inclined…
btw, there’s no missing context. Here’s the video of the segment. pic.twitter.com/5BKnEvaadx
— andrew kaczynski (@KFILE) 31 de marzo de 2019
Hat tip: Bad Fox Graphics
I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. Turns out Mexicans at the U.S. border are literally stealing the razor wire put there by Trump officials to beef up security and selling it to local residents for as little as $2 (“40 pesitos, marchanta!“)
According to The Guardian, residents of barrios abutting the border told XETW 12 television in Tijuana that entrepreneurial individuals have offered to sell them the stolen concertina wire and install it for just 40 pesos per home – barely $2.
The bad news is that people are already been arrested for stealing concertina wire along the border, BUT on the upside, this is already the favorite story of some high-profile media people, including –of course– yours truly. HA HA HA HA (or as we say in Mexicou: JA JA JA JA JA.)
Mexico stealing the wall is everybody’s favorite story ever 😂pic.twitter.com/Csv4LCfqzr
— Laura Martínez ®️ (@miblogestublog) 22 de marzo de 2019
Via: The Guardian
I was just coming back from work and now this thing will hunt me forever…
Photo: Laura Martínez, Harlem
I’ve been on the #ItsSarapeNotSarape thing for quite some time now, but thanks to a sharp Twitter follower today I learned there’s even a Serapify and Serapholic hashtags on Instagram. I clicked on it and went down a horrific, serape-filled rabbit hole.
Welp!
Hat tip: Laura Gomez Rodriguez
It is no secret that bodegas are a wonder of sorts. No matter the time of day you will surely find all your basics. Late night-condoms? a Guadalupe Virgin candle? Emergency tampons? Terrible coffee? …. The bodeguero has your back.
Oh, but try not asking him to use the bathroom, unless you want to unleash a series of… hilarious musical events.
WATCH Saturday Nights’ Live (March 2, 2019 episode)
The creators of Exploding Kittens and other silly board games are prepping Throw Throw Burrito, a card game that will have players pick up a foam burrito and… throw it at another player.
I have no idea why anybody would want to do that, but the only good news is that two plush burritos are included in this thing.
Let the genius behind the game explain their creation themselves, shall we?
Via: CNET en Español
Hola México jumped on the Yalitza Aparicio bandwagon with a colorful splash –and cover story honoring the Oscar-nominated indigenous actress. But Hola México being Hola México, decided to give Yalitza the not-so-indigenous look, going a little heavy on the Photoshop, both on the cover and in the inside pages of the magazine.
Twitter Mexico, of course, responded as it usually does: With dozens of possible, hilarious theories to explain Yalitza’s impossibly long legs.
Here’s a screenshot taken from the pages of Hola México:
And here are some of my favorite reactions:
Tengo dos teorías: pic.twitter.com/MALBKpXnxK
— Abel 🍔 (@elciempies) 22 de febrero de 2019
También hay quien defiende la teoría de las 3 rodillas pic.twitter.com/QF4OCLGX1J
— edgar g pichardo💡 (@ElDeCreativo) 22 de febrero de 2019
Yalitza para la revista Hola México pic.twitter.com/EBjgegmwyu
— Guillermo Romo (@GuillermoRomo) 22 de febrero de 2019
como nosotros vemos a Yalitza vs
como la ve hola México pic.twitter.com/vuIth7fS3k— EduarRulez (@RlzRolland) 22 de febrero de 2019
Oie ci, se llaman zapatos armadillo son de Alexander McQueen pero los hizo famosos lady Gaga 😨🤯 pic.twitter.com/j2bhSJmcWV
— Infame (@_infame__) 22 de febrero de 2019
tercera opción pic.twitter.com/u6IaUUrKH1
— elettra lamborghini #1 stan (@albbb06) 23 de febrero de 2019
Remember when Bernie Sanders was “progresivo” in Spanish?
Well, looks like in this, his second run for the US presidency, Bernie is still determined to court the vote of my people (i.e. The Hispanics.)
This time around though, Bernie has launched a Spanish-language Website (well, sort of) asking for donations, which doesn’t really say much about anything, except that it features a huge red button with the word DONA which –as you can imagine– is giving this blogger hope for some free donuts.
I’m not clicking it yet, but I scrolled down a bit only to find a cryptic, two-word message: lorem, lorem, which I hope is code language for Universal Healthcare and Tax the Hell out of the Billionaires.
Go, Bernie Progresivo!
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